Disclaimer: yeah, jeez I haven't done this since I wrote X-files fics. Anyhow, I don't own the characters and hell some of my story ideas were based on other ideas. I don't claim them. If I used your idea in some way, I am sorry but I do not claim ownership. The songs, movies, and quotes in the story aren't mine either.

This is meant to pick up after the day in the therapist's office.

Chapter 1

The car ride home was horrific, not a word was said between the two of them. Luka silently convinced himself that everything would be ok while Sam contemplated running again. Sam absentmindedly flipped through the channels on the radio's preset. A song came on that she had heard once or twice before and she stopped on it.

"Your heart is not open so I must go,

The spell has been broken, I loved you so.

Freedom comes when you learn to let go

Creation comes when you learn to say no.

You were my lesson I had to learn

I was your fortress you had to burn.

Pain is a warning that something is wrong

I pray to God that it won't be long.

Do you want to go higher?"

Sam felt her heart stop at the lyrics. It was her and Luka to a tee. She glanced over at him momentarily. She could tell he was listening to the words. She saw his eyes begin to water. He knew things were rough. But what she couldn't understand was why he didn't try. 'Does he even love me anymore?' She asked herself over and over. 'Is this the end?'

"There's nothing left to try

There's no place left to hide

There's no greater power,

than the power of Goodbye."

She felt her own eyes begin to water. She never hurt this bad when she was with Steve. 'Of course I didn't love Steve like I love Luka.' She told herself.

Luka's heart was breaking. The song was depressing to say the least. 'I hope this isn't how Sam feels.' Deep down he knew, it was exactly how she felt. He loved her more than he ever thought he could. It wasn't like when he was with Abby, or Nicole. Hell Nicole didn't even compare to Sam. She was perfect and she was slipping through his fingertips. He had to do something. 'But what?' he asked himself. Nothing came to mind in response.

Finally, they reached the apartment. Once behind closed doors she let him have it.

"What is wrong with us? We can't be together if we don't talk!" She shouted at him. She hated being the forceful one of the relationship but Luka never seemed up to the role. It was a strange change that Sam still wasn't used to.

"What do you mean? We talk about work, Alex, anything you want to talk about." He replied, finding more and more difficult to look her in the eyes when he knew he was lying to her.

"No, Luka, we don't. Not about us and that's what's important. I can't keep playing these games. You won't let me in, it's like you don't trust me. Is that true?"

"No, that's not it. I trust you, it's hard. I don't know why you push it so hard."

"I push it Luka, because according to Abby, dying priests know more about you than I do. I just wish you would talk to me like that!" Luka was taken aback by that comment. He'd have to talk to Abby later about that tid bit of information he didn't think anyone knew. "Luka, the past is the past! If you want to be with me then look at the future! I can't keep competing with your dead family!" As soon as the words had come from her mouth she regretted it. The look on his face was devastating. He moved away from her, heading for the door.

"Luka, I'm sorry…All I want is for you to talk to me! Open up to me! Please!" He paused and looked at her. There was a tear falling down her face.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I am happy and I'm happy with you. I love you Sam. That's all I know to say." He left the apartment. She didn't know where he went but she felt he needed the time. The words that escaped her mouth echoed in her mind and she became increasingly more distraught as each minute passed.

Luka walked down the street to the El station, his mind reeling over what just happened. Did she really say that? Is that how she really feels? Does she think that I don't love her? He found himself doing something he only started doing when he was with Sam.

"Danjiela, I don't know what to do. Please, help me." He pled with her, begged her to help him end the growing pain that took over his heart. Just as the times before, there was no response. He eventually stumbled his way into a bar and took a seat.

The bartender chuckled when he saw Luka walk through the door. It was always the same thing, women troubles. He walked up to Luka asking what he wanted to drink and promptly serving him.

The alcohol helped him ease his mind after each shot he took. He knew he'd better stop but he couldn't. It had been trouble for him before but he didn't seem to care. What was one more drink anyway?

At the apartment, Sam lay awake worried about Luka. Alex had begged her to let him sleep over at a friend's house and she gave in easily. She didn't really want to put Alex through yet another fighting couple if Luka should happen to come home tonight.

When 3:30 had come and gone she began to think the worst. She grabbed her coat and headed out into the cold night to look for him. She was surprised when she saw that he hadn't taken his car, but then the EL wasn't that far away. She walked around for a while. Checking the EL to see if he was there thinking, like he used to do. Finally she returned home to collect the car keys and continue her search in a warmer setting.

The bartender threw him out a little after one o'clock, he'd been wandering around downtown Chicago fighting the inner battle that waged on about whether or not to go home or get a motel. The latter won over and he found a motel that was enough for him to crash for the night. He had no idea she was looking for him. He thought she was probably home, watching a movie or sleeping. He could never know what his decision was going to cost him.