Aragorn-the-Man-Whore-Theory
Author: Immirtal Z Bomie
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fan fic. This is merely a work of fiction, and does not claim to be associated with J.R.R.Tolkien in any way shape or form. O; SO PLEASE DON'T SUE MEEEE!!
Warnings: Slash hints/suggestions. ...Psychoticness...oO;;
Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Heir of Isildur, King of Gondor, Chief Dunedain, etc etc...An honorable man, wed to the daughter of Elrond of Rivendell, Arwen Evenstar. Or is he? Have you ever asked yourself what EXACTLY he does when he wanders around Middle Earth aimlessly, on random quests? Probably not, but just pretend you have. One would think he would be free from temptation of forsaking his relationship with the lady of Imladris, on a sacred quest to destroy a doomed ring of power, surrounded only by men.
Free from Temptation indeed! Not when you have Mirkwood's own Play-Elf cover boy, Legolas Greenleaf, in the party. And not to mention that in the 70's cartoon version of Lord of the Rings, he has NO PANTS (Aragorn that is). Yes, it's quite obvious by the looks given to each other in the movies that alot more than friendship is going on between those two.
Now, Haldir of Lorien was mighty impressed with the mortal's ability to speak their native tounge, would it be no wonder that he seek out what else the mortal man can do with that tounge of this that seems to be so skilled in the way of languages? And not to mention that Haldir is one damn horny elf. The...erm..."bond" (one-night-stand-that-Aragorn-didn't-get-over) that the two share is quite obvious in The Two Towers. The hugging (which, by the looks of it, freaked Haldir out a wee' bit) the looks Aragorn gives him, the...Haldir trying to ignore the looks that Aragorn gives him.
And then, there's also Eowyn. All those looks those two give each other are more obvious than Aragorn's obsession with dead people. My best bet is that he bedded this lady the first night he was there in Rohan. Then tried to pretend it didn't happen, and with all the looks of death from Aragorn's little Play-Elf Legolas, she dared not to speak of it. And I'm sure that somewhere behind all of the mud and dirt in Aragorn's mind (it seeped in through his skin), there is a screwed up logic in that King's head that makes all his decisions for him. and that screwed up logic said unto him...
"y0! Estel! You got the chick, now get her uncle, y0 h0mie!! w00t!! Then all of Rohan will be in YOUR control!! You'll get all the dirt and elves you want, y0! Trust me, f00!"
And he obeyed the logci's commands. Because he likes dirt. And he likes Evles. Everybody likes elves. But Aragorn likes them...TOO much. A wee' bit too much. Pervy Elf Fancier...(like ME! *sob* SO PROUD!! TT___TT!!) So after a while, he finally got alot of dirt on him, and a WHOLE LOTA' Elves! So he was happy. Very. Happy. And he screwed atleast half of those elves. Therefore, Aragorn-the-Man-Whore.
Author: Immirtal Z Bomie
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fan fic. This is merely a work of fiction, and does not claim to be associated with J.R.R.Tolkien in any way shape or form. O; SO PLEASE DON'T SUE MEEEE!!
Warnings: Slash hints/suggestions. ...Psychoticness...oO;;
Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Heir of Isildur, King of Gondor, Chief Dunedain, etc etc...An honorable man, wed to the daughter of Elrond of Rivendell, Arwen Evenstar. Or is he? Have you ever asked yourself what EXACTLY he does when he wanders around Middle Earth aimlessly, on random quests? Probably not, but just pretend you have. One would think he would be free from temptation of forsaking his relationship with the lady of Imladris, on a sacred quest to destroy a doomed ring of power, surrounded only by men.
Free from Temptation indeed! Not when you have Mirkwood's own Play-Elf cover boy, Legolas Greenleaf, in the party. And not to mention that in the 70's cartoon version of Lord of the Rings, he has NO PANTS (Aragorn that is). Yes, it's quite obvious by the looks given to each other in the movies that alot more than friendship is going on between those two.
Now, Haldir of Lorien was mighty impressed with the mortal's ability to speak their native tounge, would it be no wonder that he seek out what else the mortal man can do with that tounge of this that seems to be so skilled in the way of languages? And not to mention that Haldir is one damn horny elf. The...erm..."bond" (one-night-stand-that-Aragorn-didn't-get-over) that the two share is quite obvious in The Two Towers. The hugging (which, by the looks of it, freaked Haldir out a wee' bit) the looks Aragorn gives him, the...Haldir trying to ignore the looks that Aragorn gives him.
And then, there's also Eowyn. All those looks those two give each other are more obvious than Aragorn's obsession with dead people. My best bet is that he bedded this lady the first night he was there in Rohan. Then tried to pretend it didn't happen, and with all the looks of death from Aragorn's little Play-Elf Legolas, she dared not to speak of it. And I'm sure that somewhere behind all of the mud and dirt in Aragorn's mind (it seeped in through his skin), there is a screwed up logic in that King's head that makes all his decisions for him. and that screwed up logic said unto him...
"y0! Estel! You got the chick, now get her uncle, y0 h0mie!! w00t!! Then all of Rohan will be in YOUR control!! You'll get all the dirt and elves you want, y0! Trust me, f00!"
And he obeyed the logci's commands. Because he likes dirt. And he likes Evles. Everybody likes elves. But Aragorn likes them...TOO much. A wee' bit too much. Pervy Elf Fancier...(like ME! *sob* SO PROUD!! TT___TT!!) So after a while, he finally got alot of dirt on him, and a WHOLE LOTA' Elves! So he was happy. Very. Happy. And he screwed atleast half of those elves. Therefore, Aragorn-the-Man-Whore.