Pipe Dreams
Dear Diary,
Ever since I hit puberty, I've known there was something different about me. While my peers got off on images of Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny doing sorts of things together that they only do in private (thank god), I was 'brought up' on Professor Samuel Oak. Now I lust more for a certain blue-haired transvestite. He's around more often, my James.
Of course, I still lust for the Professor (or Sam, as I've taken to calling him in my head). Why else would I put up with that tenacious, whiny, pre-pubecent brat Ash? Misty's alright. Our group, the "twerp trio" as we've been called. The youngest dyke on the pokémon islands, the most dense wanna-be trainer around (he's dedicated, but what a thick skull!) and me. But I digress.
Today was slightly more interesting than usual. We found a nice island. There was a pretty cute old guy, but he was a tribe-leader, and tribe-leaders are always straight. A girl named Melody with some sort of screw loose got a crush on "Mr. Maturity" himself. By Misty's standards, she must've been hot, because when she mistook Misty for Ash's girlfriend, she went more ballistic than ever! I tease her, of course, but that's just because she can't retaliate. Secrets... I love blackmail. Once again, I digress.
So, this island has a ceremony, because they're right near Moltres, Zapdos, Articuno and Luiga, the legendary birds. Awesome pictures to show Sam... er, the Professor... once I meet him. An ancient rune depicted Ash as a chosen one. I say that it was all Team Rocket that saved the world and Ash just had to place a ball on a rock. Hmph.
Oh, Team Rocket. The best and worst parts of today happened involving them. The best part went as follows. They just heard a rumor that Misty might actually consider a boy for a love partner. Jesse said that "Listen, little girl, getting involved with the opposite sex is nothing but trouble!" How Misty and I agreed. She did a good job controlling it outwardly, but I'm sure that inwardly, she was twitching to reinforce Jess' point to her.
Anyway, my heart stopped a moment later. Why, you ask? Well, James said "Yes, and that's the kind of trouble I stay out of!" My god! All my fantasies... who cares about saving the world when a guy like James admits to you that he's gay!
Felines are known for ruining moods. Meowth is the master of that. "Youse guys don't need da opposite sex cause youse guys gots each odda!" I found out what a broken heart was that moment. Well... maybe not a broken heart. Maybe more like a broken... pipe. Yeah, a broken pipe dream. (Ecchi! That's not what I meant by broken pipe!)
Maybe soon I'll meet the Professor. Maybe he'll like my drawings. Maybe I'll work for him. Maybe he'll even let me tag along on one of his dates with one Mrs. Delia Ketchum. Wow, what a prize.
Diary, the one thing you have to know about me by now is that, in areas of lust, I shall always hang on to my pathetic, broken, rusty pipe dreams.
Sincerely,
-Tracey Sketchit