Aloha all my peoples! I have come up with another KFP story, though I think this will be a two-shot. I'm really happy that lots of people liked my first KFP story (this story has nothing to do with the other one.) and it doth have encouraged me to write thou people another one! I couldn't sleep last night so this is what came out of my tired brain…. DON'T HATE ME! Until the end of this chapter, ONWARD SHADOWFAX! TO MORDOR! *gallops off on an invisible horse*
It was just a normal day in the village, the sun was shining, the breeze was nice and cool, and there hasn't been an attack in at least a day. In other words it was perfect for the striped Master. Tigress was walking in the village going to buy some chains. The old ones in the training hall had rusted and were now considered a safety hazard. Everything was normal except for the fact that almost every grown woman was staring at her with distaste, making her feel a bit uncomfortable. She bought what she needed and was about to return to the Jade Palace when she was stopped by the three most feared women in all the Valley of Peace; the three matchmakers; a pig, a sheep, and a rabbit. All in their middle ages. They glared at the Tiger Master for a while, while Tigress stood there awkwardly before the pig in the middle spoke up.
"So Tigress how are you?" She said a little too sweetly. "Fine." "Oh that's good." The three continued to stare at her. "…. Um look I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to get back to the Jade Palace." She said as she tried to scoot around them. However they moved in front of her once again. This time the sheep spoke up. "Oh what a coincidence, we are going there as well. We'll accompany you." "Oh that's really not necessary…" Tigress tried to protest but her efforts were futile.
The whole way up the stairs, the three matchmakers questioned Tigress about her future; what kind of man she is looking for, how many kids she wants, when will she give up on kung fu and start acting like a lady (This question, it took all of her will not to throw the three ladies down the steps). After the agonizing twenty-minutes it took to climb the stairs, Tigress was ready to rip her ears out. Master Shifu was at the top waiting to greet the village matchmakers. He bowed to them and welcomed them to the Jade Palace. "It is such an honor to have you here. Please come in." As he led them into the Palace, Tigress ran to the barracks, into her room, fell on the bed and screamed into her pillow. She hated matchmakers.
Po heard her muffled scream and burst through her door ready to fight the people who had her gagged. But all he saw was the back of Tigress, her tail flicking back and forth in agitation. "Uh Ti? You ok?" Po said as he sat on the foot of her bed. She flipped over and propped herself up on her elbows. "No I'm not ok! It's those matchmakers. I hate matchmakers!" She growled. "What? Why? Matchmakers are cool! They can find anyone their dream person. And without someone's dream person they wouldn't get married, then they wouldn't have kids… So basically they help to populate the earth. What do you have against them?" He asked. She scoffed, "It's what they have against me." She rolled her eyes. "They hate that I devoted myself entirely to kung fu. Leaving absolutely no time for a social or *shudder* love life. Blech! And I know exactly why they're here and I HATE it!" "What are they here for?" Po asked confused. "They're because they've never had the pleasure of torturing me by finding my 'soul mate'" "What do you mean? I thought all girls had to go to the matchmaker." "They do, however my experience barely made it past the front door." Po's face lit up, "Ooh! A story! Tell me pleeease!" "I really don't-" She was interrupted by large green panda eyes staring up at her. "Pwease?" The adorable ness was too strong even for Master Tigress. "Uhg fine…It was around 12 years ago, I was 15…."
(12 years ago)
"Master Oogway, why do we have to do this again? It's a waste of time and I'd much rather be training." The teenage Tigress complained as she walked next to the old turtle through the village to the Matchmaker's Hut. "Because young one." He began, "This will ensure you have a good future." "But my future is kung fu, Master. I've already devoted my life to it." She stated. "Yes, this is true, but what should you do if you were to be injured and unable to do kung fu? Hmm? Walk the streets helpless begging for money?" Tigress realized, however did not enjoy, the reasoning his statement held.
When they finally arrived to the hut, the pair entered and started to go into the place of the judgment. But before they could enter a goat stopped them. "Master Oogway, I'm sorry, but you and your student are in the wrong place." "Is this not the Matchmakers Hut?" "Well yes," she replied, "However this is the girls Matchmakers Hut. The boys Matchmakers Hut is down the street." Oogway chuckled. "My dear, I believe you are mistaken. I am far too old to be looking for a soul mate. Thank you anyway." He started to lead her through the door again, but once again was stopped by the woman. "Master Oogway, I understand that you yourself are not looking for a mate, however your student is in the wrong place. He needs to go to the boys Matchmakers Hut."
Tigress turned to the woman in shock. "He?!" She almost shouted. "Yes, sir. You are a boy, are you not?" The goat smiled sweetly. "No! I'm NOT! I'm a GIRL!" She was steaming. "Oh, my apologizes miss….. It's just; well you look so much like a man… Are you sure you are a girl?" Oogway had to place a hand on her shoulder to stop her from lashing out. "Ma'am, I am fairly certain that one would know one's own gender. However if you are to keep persisting that you are right, then I believe we have no business here. Thank you and have a good day." He led the girl out the door and up the Palace steps. Silence passed between them, and he glanced down to see a depressed look on Tigress's face.
"Do not fret dear, matchmakers simply cannot admit to their own imperfections and she most likely thought that since you were not wearing one of those ridiculously tight dresses and ten pounds of makeup, that you were not a girl." He raised her chin to look up at him. "However, you are beautiful without that stuff and you need not worry." She smiled slightly. And the two walked up the Jade Palace, back to training.
(Back to the present)
"And now," Tigress continued, "Those matchmakers are here to finish what they couldn't start." She grabbed Po's shoulders and shook them. "I can't go through that! All they do is criticize you about how you look and act and what you do. Then put a crap ton of makeup on you then squeeze you into a dress that would fit a twelve year old!" She flopped back on the bed groaning. "The only thing worse than a judgment would be a-" "Matchmaking Reception ." Shifu had entered the room and Tigress bolted up with a look of terror on her face. "Master please don't tell me we-" "It has been decided" Shifu interrupted. "The Jade Palace will be hosting a Matchmaking Reception."
I HAVE RETUUUUUURRNED! Yeah, um there is no such thing as a Matchmaking Reception to my knowledge. But basically it will be like a big party where people mingle and they see if they connect deeply with anyone. It isn't as professional and it is usually for those that never had the chance to be judged or people who the matchmakers didn't think it was possible to find a match for. Um yesh….. That is all. Review! THANKS!