No Ordinary world.
A/N – This is a change for me, I listened to this song and the idea appeared. I am thinking it occurred a week or so after Stella left, and Mac reflects on what he may have lost, without even trying to gain it in the first place. Lyrics are from Duran Duran, Mac and Stell to CBS et al.
…...
Came in from a rainy Thursday
On the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly
Detective Mac Taylor stood staring out of the window of his office. His thoughts turned to that morning, a glimpse of curly hair and a bubbly laugh along the corridor. The smile had graced his face before he knew it had, and disappeared as fast when he realised it wasn't her. She was gone.
I turned on the lights, the TV
And the radio
Still I can't escape the ghost of you
Being the man he was he'd got on with his day, shaken the thoughts from his head and got to work. But they wouldn't be defeated, she crept into every part of the day.
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, some are saying
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away
Too late he'd realised that he'd taken her for granted. Her talent, her work. She had been a fixture in his life he never even thought about losing. His life had been so much richer for her in it, and only now, did he realise that.
But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
He'd done it once, under worse circumstances than this, he could do it again. He had to move on, there was only one other option, and that wasn't an option. Mac Taylor didn't fold.
Passion or coincidence
Once prompted you to say
"Pride will tear us both apart"
Well now pride's gone out the window
Cross the rooftops
Run away
Left me in the vacuum of my heart
He watched the rain on the window, some drops were slow, some were not. Like life, he was slow, she was fast. Gone out of his life without him realising he'd miss her. Now he did, and he couldn't bring himself to ask for her to come back. But he knew, should she appear at this moment, he would beg, unguarded and honest, just for a moment, then it would pass.
What is happening to me?
Crazy, some'd say
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away
She was his friend, colleague and confidant. The one person he needed to be around when he felt like this, was the reason he felt like this. It hurt.
But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
He needed to move on, as she had. Pick up the threads of his life and put it back together, discreetly, quietly and without fuss. No one must know just how bad this was, how it tore at him.
Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk
There were people who relied on him, needed him. Flack was still aching, Danny and Lindsay needed his support, Adam needed to learn to trust. He needed to focus on them, on helping them through their real life sorrows. The wider world of New York relied on them all, needing them to find their rapists and murderers.
And I don't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
Somehow, he had to find it, the will to live on and not to bask in his sorrow. He had never acknowledged what they had, could have had, and he wasn't sure if given the time again, he would change anything. He wanted, needed and missed her. But he would go on without her, somehow.
Every one
Is my world, I will learn to survive
Any one
Is my world, I will learn to survive
Any one
Is my world
Every one
Is my world
He sighed, tracing a fast raindrop with his finger as he collected his thoughts and relived a memory the last time. Stella.
…...
Please review :) I wasn't a huge subscriber to Mac/Stella but that song just seemed right.