New Story Alert. I wrote this chapter a very long time ago and I found it funny because in all my stories this never happens in the first chapter.
This is a songfic based on a song called 'The One' by a band called Kodaline. It's lovely song and I just couldn't resist writing this.
Each chapter of this story will cover a different chapter of Clary and Jace's life, not necessarily in order. It moves back and forth in their timeline before probably moving into the future.
Enjoy!Tell me,
Tell me that you want me,
And I'll be yours completely
For better or for worse.
2008Clary was staring at the red cup in her hand wondering whether to drink the questionable concoction it contained.
"Do you want to dance, Clarissa?" He asked.
She looked up from it at the blonde boy standing in front of her. And the question finally registered in her mind and automatically she shook her head no without thinking.
The blonde in front of her cocked his head to the side and looked at her with an expression she couldn't quite place.
She felt a blush creep onto her face as he stared her down. At that moment she considered changing her mind. She opened her mouth to speak but she was too slow.
"I'll dance with you Jace!" Said the blonde haired bombshell Kaelie Whitewillow slipping her arm around Jace from behind.
Clary snapped her mouth shut. Too late.
Jace looked between the two girls and zeroed in on Clary again.
"Are you sure?" He asked her with an unreadable look.
"Go ahead... I'm fine ...you have fun..." Clary said once she regained use of her tongue. Her voice sounded too high and too loud but if anyone noticed they didn't say anything.
Kaelie pulled Jace by the hand leading him to the mass of writhing bodies on the dance floor.
Jace glanced back at her once before turning his attention to the blonde girl. At that moment she felt like kicking herself for being such a coward.
She had wanted to dance with him. But she wasn't really the sort of girl who went to parties and danced the night away. Hell she barely attended parties at all unless Jace dragged her along or her other best friend Izzy. But it always took some convincing. Her fear of looking like an idiot had reared its ugly head and now she was regretting it.
She looked up to spot the two blondes in the crowd. She could see them. They were pressed up against each other so closely she could barely tell their limbs apart. She felt her stomach drop as a sick feeling grew within it.
She stared back down at the cup in her hand and took a sip. The liquid burned the back of her throat and made her splutter but she took another sip anyway. It was better this time. If nothing else the haze of alcohol could numb her because right now she didn't want to feel a thing.
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She was a lightweight she knew that. She hadn't even finished the first cup and she was already feeling the sharp lights of the room around her began to soften. She felt warm and happy. She felt good.
So when the raven haired boy pulled her up by her hand and pulled her towards the dance floor she didn't resist.
"Dance with me Clary." Sebastian commanded in a gentle tone that was at odds with his facial expression and actions.
"I don't dance..." She said smiling back at him lazily. She could be honest with him, he didn't matter.
"It's okay, we can just move to the music..." He whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear. He took her arms and wrapped them around his neck closing the distance between them.
She didn't really register how close their bodies were. She didn't even notice his hands slip from her waist to her ass. She just closed her eyes and lost herself in the music. Right now she was too numb to care.
She suddenly felt hot as if someone was burning a hole into her back. She snapped open her eyes but all she could see was Sebastian's chest. She tried to turn around but he held her closer.
When she carried on struggling he turned her around pulling her ass against his front and grabbing her hips and swaying them in time to the music.
Her eyes shot open and she saw golden eyes burning into hers. He still had his arms around Kaelie who was leaning against his shoulder she saw his hands slip from her shoulders. She followed the course of his hands from her back to her ass and when she looked back up at him they were kissing.
She suddenly felt sick as if there wasn't enough air in the room and freeing herself from Sebastian's hold she bolted. She ran out through the house to the back door. Flung it open and managed to make her way to the fence running around the house before her knees gave out. She clutched the railings and pulled herself upright leaning over the side breathing hard. She sucked air into her lungs and breathed deeply until she felt a little less light headed.
"Clary!" A voice behind her called. She turned around in shock.
"Sebastian ..." She muttered in a disappointed tone when she saw who had appeared.
"Are you okay...?" He asked in a confused tone coming to stand next to her leaning on the railing beside her.
"I'm fine... I just needed some air." She said tersely. She suddenly felt very sober.
"I can keep you company." He said reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
She jerked back involuntarily.
"I'm fine... Please go back inside and enjoy ... The party..." She said quietly. She wasn't sure what to say to make him leave but she knew that she wanted him to.
"You're such a tease..." Sebastian said chuckling, "I don't bite don't worry ... Unless you want me to ..." He suddenly had a more predatory look to his eyes that she didn't appreciate.
"Sebastian ... Please I just want to be alone." She said her voice a bit harsher.
He didn't seem to notice her tone. Instead he took it as an invitation to pull her against his body.
"But I don't want to leave you alone, Clary..." He said quietly but there was something in his tone that chilled her to the bone, "not now that I've got you all alone."
Fear rose up in her chest suddenly. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he pushed her back against the railing. It dug into her back painfully and she cried out. He pressed himself against her even closer positioning himself between her legs.
"Oh come on... I'm not going to take no for an answer like that poor bastard Herondale... Not from a tease like you ..." He says his voice sending shivers of fear up her spine, "girls like you need a good seeing to."
His hands are clutching at her forearms tightly and she is sure he is going to leave bruises. Her breathing is laboured. She wants to scream but her lungs won't cooperate. She wants to tell him 'No' but fear has switched her off. She is standing there as rigid as a plank of wood not daring to move an inch.
He wraps one hand around both her wrists holding them above her head and the other goes down the side of her stomach to her hip. His hand slips lower and finds the hem of her skirt pulling it upwards around her waist.
It is like she is having an out of body experience. She is watching this happen to somebody. But it isn't her. It couldn't possibly be. That is until her mind finally catches up with her body and she chokes out a sob.
"Please stop... I don't want this..." She says between wracking sobs that are making her body shudder violently. His hand is on her thigh gripping it so tightly that she is sure he is trying to hurt her.
"You stupid little girl, do you think I really care what ..." He starts cruelly but is cut short.
Suddenly his body has disappeared and she straightens up in shock. She hears a thudding sound and sees him lying against the wall of the house clutching his head.
"I think the lady said no, asshole." She hears someone say in a menacing tone. She is staring down at her shaking hands now and can't seem to look away from them. She manages to pull her skirt back down and then her hands are in front of her again.
"I ... I ... " Sebastian starts and she hears him cry out in pain and groan followed by a loud crashing sound. She doesn't look up but she does notice it is oddly quiet now.
She feels a set of hands steady her own shaky ones and cries out pulling them away. She screams as arms wrap themselves around her and thrashes against the body against her own.
"Clary ... I'm not going to hurt you..." A soothing voice says against her and she stops struggling as she regains control of her mental faculties. It's Jace. Her best friend Jace. She goes limp in his arms with relief and he straightens up holding her at arm's length.
She looks up at his face. It is dark outside but she can see that even in the moonlight he looks unusually pale. His face is tight with worry.
"Where's ... Where is he?" Clary asks sniffling looking away from him.
"He's on the floor ... He's unconscious ..." Jace says softly as if he commenting on something insignificant.
"Oh..." Clary says dumbly staring into the distance. Not bothering to check if he really is lying on the ground.
He cups her face with both hands pulling her up so she is facing him.
"Are you ... Are you okay?" He asks gently. The look in his eyes is full of concern. She doesn't think she's ever seen him look so real. So human.
"I'm ... I'm okay." She says softly turning her head away embarrassed
"He didn't ... I mean he didn't hurt you ...?" He asks but can't bring himself to finish the sentence.
"No... I mean ... Not like that." She says quietly staring at her hands. And just like that all the fear has dissipated from her body leaving her feeling drained. She is safe now. Safe is with him.
"I would never have forgiven myself if ..." he starts off with a panicked tone letting go of her face, "Oh God Clarissa!" he is groaning in frustration by the end. He looks furious.
"What?" She growls back at him in shock and annoyance. Why is he angry at her?
He grabs her by her hand roughly and leads her down to the end of the garden path where there is a small white gazebo. Surprisingly it is empty. She doesn't resist.
He sits down on the seat and pulls her down next to him. She looks over at him and he already has his head in his hands as if he is in pain.
"You ... You're going to be the death of me you know that." Jace growls roughly not looking at her.
"I didn't ask for him to attack me Jace ... What the hell is your problem?" She cries out in indignation.
"You're my problem... You ..." He barks finally looking up at her. His eyes are blazing and any response she has shrivels up and dies in her throat.
She breathes deeply but can't take her eyes away from him.
"I don't know why I bother..." He says scathingly rolling his eyes and turning away from her.
"Screw you Jace ... Why did you even bother ... You should have just left him to it ... I probably deserved it didn't I?" She screams at him losing herself to the anger welling up inside her.
"Are you insane?" He asks standing up staring down at her. His hands thrown up in the air. He tugs at his hair and there is a wild look in his eyes.
"Why don't you go back inside and carry on with Kaelie," Clary says hotly, "I'm fine now ... You can leave ... I'm a big girl I can take care of myself!"
"Like hell you can..." He shouts back at her in an equally angry tone, "Wait ... What ... Are you jealous?" He says stopping his voice becoming confused.
"No!" Clary shouts out in exasperation a little too quickly. It is a defensive. Because it is obvious that it's the truth.
"You're the one who turned me down ... Keeps turning me down ... And I keep trying like a fool ..." he says in a miserable tone, "And I ask you to dance and you'd rather throw yourself at Sebastian? That turned out well didn't it?!" his voice is rising again and his tone is scathing.
Clary stands up and slaps him hard before she can stop herself. He grabs his cheek in shock and her own eyes widen in shock at her actions.
Jace does a 180 on the spot and stalks away. Clary feels her heart beat faster and the breath suck out of her lungs as he steps further and further away. She can't let him leave. Not like this.
"Wait!" She screams as loud as she can rooted to the spot.
He stops but doesn't turn around.
"Please... Can we just talk..." She starts softly then her anger gets the better of her, "don't you dare walk away from me!"
He turns and walks back towards her. His hands clenched at his side. If she didn't know any better she would think he was going to slap her right back.
"Talk then..." He says in an infuriated tone, "go on..."
"Why are you being like this?" Clary asks exasperated.
"I'm not being like anything ..." He says huffing in irritation, "but how about you tell me ... Why on earth you were dancing with Sebastian."
"I ... I don't know..." She says softly suddenly embarrassed, she feels her cheeks heating up. 'I was with him because you were dancing with Kaelie and I was jealous' she wants to say but she doesn't.
"Do you like him?" Jace asks in an oddly monotone voice devoid of any emotion.
"No ... What no way!" Clary says defiantly her fists balling up at her sides.
"I meant before he tried to ..." He sighs scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
"No ... I was a little tipsy ... He grabbed me ..." She tries to explain.
"And you couldn't say no?" He asks mockingly.
"No I couldn't ... I mean..." She starts but words fail her.
"You have no problem saying no to me..." He says bitterly.
"Is that what this is about? You didn't look like you were put out ... I mean I couldn't really tell because you had your tongue down Kaelie's throat but ..." Clary says derisively.
"She kissed me..." Jace starts his eyes narrowing.
"I don't care ... Don't even ..." she says confused, "Why do you even care what I think?"
"Because I wanted you to be dancing with me ... I wanted you to be kissing me ..." He says groaning. She finally looks up and her eyes lock on his own. He looks tortured.
"Oh..." she says softly trying to organise her thoughts.
"But you told me to go with her ... So like an idiot I did... Do you enjoy it?" He asks dejectedly.
"Enjoy what?" She asks confused. Her mind is going into overdrive trying to make sense of what he is saying. He can't mean it. He can't actually mean what she thinks he is saying.
"Toying with me ... Making me think you want me then telling me to take a running jump ..." He says bitterly.
"I never..." she starts her brain finally catching up with her mouth.
"You don't even care do you?" he asks cutting her off looking crestfallen.
"What do you mean?" she asks softly.
"I'm leaving ..." he says looking embarrassed. It is something she doesn't recall seeing before. This range of emotions from him. He usually hides them so well.
"Of course I care about you." She admits flushing. It is hard to get those words out let alone anything else.
"That's not true." He says looking up at her his eyes look uncertain.
"Why?" she asks grinning. She has never seen him look like this. So unsure. She isn't sure why she finds it amusing but she does.
"Because ..." he starts but when he sees her smiling at him he stops and she sees he is between two emotions. He's trying not to smile back at her and at the same time he is confused to see her looking so amused.
"Do you love me Jace?" she asks trying to keep the amused tone out of her voice.
There is dead silence. She can hear the music coming from the house. The sound of his breathing and nothing else.
"Yes." He says simply after a long pause.
"Oh..." she says as he wipes the smile from her face, she is not sure what she expected the response to be.
"Oh? That's nice ... Oh? ... I tell you I'm in love with you and all you can say is oh!" he says in a contemptuous tone.
She cuts him off with her lips. Pulling him down by his collar so she can press her lips to his in the way she has always wanted deep down. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him hard and fast.
He seems shocked at first but then he is kissing her back with equal fervour. His kisses are hot and demanding. They tell her she is his and she likes that. When they are both out of breath they finally pull away. He presses his forehead to hers as he gasps for air. It feels good and when they both finally regain their breath. He stands upright looking down at her.
"Oh ..." he says grinning at her boyishly. It makes his eyes twinkle and she knows she would do anything to see that look on his face always.
"Is that all you can say?" She asks him grinning back equally enamoured.
She gasps in shock as he cuts her off with his lips. So that's what it feels like she thinks smiling against his lips. His kisses are gentler this time. Soft little pecks at her lips that tell her he can't get enough of her. That he can't believe she is his.
"Do you love me Clarissa?" he asks trailing hot wet kisses down her jaw to her neck.
"Yes." She says her voice light but his mouth on her skin is setting her on fire.
He pulls her into his arms and just holds her tight.
"Don't you EVER scare me like that again ..." he whispers into her hair.
"Like what?" she whispers pulling back and looking up at him.
"Make me think you want to be with someone else..." he says the look in his eyes is so full of possessiveness she can't help but smile.
"You should take your own advice..." she says teasingly.
"I'm yours ..." he says softly, "I don't want anyone else, I've never wanted anyone else like I want you... I'm all yours." She's surprised by how gentle his voice is.
"I've always been yours ... Completely yours." She says quietly, "How could you think I didn't want you." She is incredulous.
"Because I'm me and you're you. I've never deserved you ..." he says hugging her close again.
She laughs openly she doesn't know why but she feels so much lighter. Lighter than she has felt in a long time. Her laughter making her shake against him.
"What's so funny?" He asks sounding offended but in a good natured way.
"You're the only one for me, Jace Herondale." She says finally. It feels good to get the words out. As if a weight has been lifted off her.
"I love you, Clarissa." He says looking into her eyes with a look that makes her feel as if she is the luckiest girl in the world.
"I love you more." She says back instinctively. It feels right. It all feels so right.
"Not possible…" he says chuckling.
He dips his head lower and kisses her again. Gently and slowly at a languorous pace that lets her know they have all the time in the world. She wraps her arms around his neck and her hands tangle in the curls at the nape of his neck. His hands cup her face pulling her closer to him. She stands up on her tip toes to bring herself closer to him.
"Will you dance with me, Clary?" he asks smiling at her when they finally pull away.
"There's no music." She says amused at him.
"We can improvise." He says pulling her against him so they are closer than they have been all night.
"Is this just an excuse to have me inappropriately close?" She teases.
"I can find other excuses for that, sweetheart." He says chuckling.
She is surprised at how natural this all feels. She doesn't feel awkward at all. It surprises her in a good way. And so they move around the gazebo in a poor imitation of a slow dance. Her arms are wrapped around his neck and his hands move across her back at a slow pace. Just holding each other.
"You know I don't think declarations of love usually come before the first date." Clary says softly looking up at him.
"I'll take you on a date Fray, as many as you like." He says his eyes sparkling again in that way that makes her feel like anything is possible.
"Looking forward to it, Herondale." She says grinning at him.
First chapter done :)
Much love x