How The.
Chapter: 1
Category: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Comedy
Author: Alexandria Eisengaurd
Author's Notes - I've never written a DBZ story before, so bare with me. One of my best friends are always writing them, so if you're
looking for the good shit, check Majin Maljita out. Anyway, this story is AU, I guess. It's basically about a spell that's been casted on Vegeta
and Yamcha. If you want to know more, you'll have to read it.
The dark haired Prince groaned as he awoke from his slumber. With his eyes still shut, he reached over to grasp ahold of his beautiful aqua-haired maiden. Though,
something had been terribly wrong in this scene, for his love had felt a tad bit differently shaped. Her snickered and pulled the woman closer and spoke quietly, "Get
implants? Or did you stuff your shirt again?"
A giggle arose from the vixen laid in his arms, and an odd stench tickled his nose. He sniffed for a second, as if trying to analyze this odor, and a grunt was realized from
throat. He let go of her, and growled lightly.
"God damn woman, don't you know how to bathe?" His eyes opened, and with shock, he discovered himself laying in a different bed, with a messed up woman.
The woman turned to face Vegeta, and grinned. She had short blonde hair, and dark green eyes. She had a tad bit of acne, and abnormally large breasts with a small
body that seemed to belong to a drug whore's.
"Oh Yammy, why are you acting so weird?" The woman questioned.
"Yammy? Are you on weed? Do I look like a yammy? And who the hell might you be?" He spat back.
The woman blinked, and then moved over to lay ontop of him, before being pushed off, "Aww...it's me, Pizza."
"Pizza? Did the delivery man screw your Mother?" He growled.
She giggled softly some more, and responded, "No, Yammy. My real name is Ivanna, you know that silly weener!"
He shook his head lightly side to side, how did he get himself into this mess? Where was Bulma? Who the hell was this Ivanna Pizza? Who's house was he in? With these thoughts in his head, he stood up and left the room to try and discover a bathroom. He trailed into one finally, and sighed before glancing into the mirror. At first, he didn't realize it, but then he dashed to the mirror in shock. He was Yamcha.
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"
At Vegeta's house.
Yamcha stretched in the bed, to open his eyes to his old crush, Bulma. He blinked and thought to himself, I knew I was good, and I know I was drunk, but damn. He smiled, as did his little friend, and he wrapped an arm around the goddess. The beauty smiled and grasped ahold of his hand.
"I love..." her words were interuppted with the slam of the front door.
"Oh shit!" Yamcha yelled, "Listen Bulma, don't let him know I'm here!"
Yamcha ran into the closet door, and hid inside there as footsteps ran to the bedroom door. The door was opened quickly, with Vegeta in the body of Yamcha standing there looking at her lying confused in the bed.
"WHERE IS THAT IMBECILE? THAT FUCKING BODY STEALER?" Vegeta yelled.
Vegeta vanished from sight, as did Yamcha.
The two of them had appeared in a room surrounded in black, none could tell how big the room had been. A chair had it's back towards them, and a voice came out from the one sitting there awaiting their arrival.
"Ah, Vegeta, Yamcha, what a pleasant surprise. I bet you're wondering why you're here, and why you've exchanged penises." the man spoke.
Yamcha blinked and looked down his pants, "No wonder Bulma wanted you, and I get the hooker..." Yamcha sighed.
Vegeta growled and smacked him. "STOP LOOKING AT MY DICK YOU HOMOSEXUAL FAG!"
"Fine, I'll walk around looking like the idiotic Saiya-jin that pissed himself then. Though, you can look at my dick all you want, I don't want to be pissy boy." Yamcha grinned.
"I don't want your herpes, I want my body back, damnit." Vegeta said.
"Boys, boys, let's be civilized here. If you want your bodies back, you'll have to listen to my words," the voice said.
"Right, so how do we Mr. I know all?" Vegeta asked.
"Simple, friendship is the key to unlock the curse. The second I see the two of you are genuine friends, the second I will allow you to return home like little Golden Retrievers." It answered.
"Friendship?" Vegeta groaned and pulled Yamcha closer and whispered in his ear, "Let's fool this bozo and get out of here."
Yamcha nodded in agreement.
"US? FRIENDS? YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING! WE'RE AS FRIENDS AS CAN BE!" Yamcha locked Vegeta in a tight bear hug.
Vegeta smiled and hugged Yamcha also, "Mmhmm, that's right, now can we return?"
"...I'm not an idiot, I have the ability to tell true emotions from fake ones. Now, before I forget, there's a catch to all of this. You guys cannot tell anyone about the curse, if you do, you will vanish from Earth, forever." A laugh shot out.
"Forever? Will we go to other planets?" Yamcha questioned.
"No. No one will see you again." It responded, "Now leave."
WIth that, Vegeta and Yamcha reappeared in their old spots.
Bulma still sat there confused, gazing at Vegeta.
"Uuh sorry, I sort of lost it. Where's Vegeta? I want to fight him again with my insignificant powers!" Vegeta yelled, trying to act like the idiot named Yamcha.
Yamcha stumbled out of the closet with a bra ontop of his head.
"I'm right here, let's go," Yamcha said, and they departed.
Bulma still sat quietly on her bed, confused with this sudden attitude change. What was going on?
Author's Note - One question, should I continue this? Ideas? Questions? Comments? Please?