Mission Chapter 1: Depressed

Togusa woke up in the middle of the night. He was still in the hospital. His hand combed through his brown hair. One of the nurses came in and asked him if anything was wrong. He shook his head, sweat clinging to him. The nurse gave a smile. She seemed nice unlike the other nurses who had the practiced smile always on their face. Togusa leaned back against the bed. The image had woken him up again. The pillow greeted him again as Togusa leaned back against it. He felt more tired than when he first went to sleep. He was supposed to get out of the hospital in the morning. Togusa had been having a nice dream. A nice one…and then the memory flooded back to him again. Haunting. Togusa wished he could have them erased. He could. But he wouldn't in fear that all his memories would be erased. Togusa closed his eyes feeling the familiar comfort of sleep envelop him.

He woke up in the morning feeling refreshed but still a little weak and tired. The unfamiliar white walls greeted him. He was still so unfamiliar with the hospital but it was the only thing he could call home at the moment. Togusas' daughter was living with his niece. He gave a heavy sigh and waited a few minutes for someone to come into the room. A nurse walked in with the breakfasts, which was hospital eggs, juice and some sausages. He gave a fake smile to the nurse and she was gone. Togusa looked at the breakfast already feeling his stomach trying to eject it.

'And the doctors wonder why I feel sick in the evening.' Togusa thought smiling grimly.

A few moments later Batou walked in. He had a somber look on his face. The gray haired man sat down in a chair across where Togusa sat.

"Hey…big guy…" Togusa muttered looking at him from over the top of his scary breakfast. The eggs were bubbling.

"How are you feeling Togusa?" he asked his face still void of happiness.

"I'm feeling a bit better…I'm supposed to be getting out of this place at noon." Togusa answered frowning at his plate again.

Batou looked at the plate on the table. "What is that?" he asked smirking.

"Something I'm going to end up losing later." Togusa answered spooning it around in the plate. He took a bite of the sausage and coughed cupping his mouth.

"That stuff looks nasty…" Batou muttered as Togusa swallowed the piece of sausage. "How bout I get you something outside?"

Togusa ate another piece of sausage. He swallowed it whole coughing and choking on it slightly. "That would be nice." He muttered hoarsely drinking some of the orange juice which was the only good thing on the plate.

"Let's see what I can get you." muttered Batou as he walked out of the room and into the lobby.

Togusa drank the rest of the juice already feeling sick to his stomach. He gave low groan as he looked at the eggs which bubbled oddly. He stuck his tongue out at it before placing it on the table beside him for the nurse. About fifteen minutes later Batou came back and placed a paper bag in front of Togusa.

"Eat it or else I'll have to ring your neck and make you stay in this place." Batou said smiling.

Togusa gave a weak smile and opened the bag. A bagel with butter greeted him. He took a bite of the bagel and swallowed it.

"Better than your hospital food, ne?" Batou asked grinning.

Togusa nodded still looking a little pale from the sausages he ate. "Thanks big guy." he said

Batou left when he got a call from the Major about some new case they were supposed to solve. Togusa nodded to him when he left. It was ten o'clock and he was alone again.

When twelve o'clock hit one of the nurses gave him a spare change of clothes and helped him into a wheelchair he was to use for two weeks. The nurse pushed him out of the hospital where Sakara and his daughter greeted him. Sakara pushed him the rest of the way to where she and his daughter were staying. He didn't look her straight in the eye and she didn't talk to him. Togusa just smiled at his daughter when she hopped around to him. Seeing his niece had allowed the memories of the past few weeks escape to the front of his mind. When they finally reached the front of the house, Sakara gave him the crutches and he slowly but surely got up the steps and into the lobby. Sakara cleared her throat and said "Well…Miss. Kusanagi got you this house…She said she could pay for the bills until you come back in."

Togusa nodded a bit surprised at what the Major had done. "When you start working with them I suggest you call her Major and not Miss. Kusanagi." He said void of emotion. Sakara nodded seeing the expression on his face as she brought in the wheelchair.

Togusa smiled down at his daughter who hugged his better leg. He patted her head and said "Daddy has to go lie down and rest for a little while. Will you be a good girl and go play with your toys?"

The little girl nodded and ran off laughing. He looked after her taking in a low breath of air before continuing off to what he already knew was his room. The bed was quite big although he didn't need all that much room. Togusa sat down on the side of the bed leaning the crutches against the wall. Sakara tapped on the open door. He looked up at her.

"Listen…I don't blame you for what happened." Togusa said putting his head down. "It's just…you remind me of what happened."

"I know…and I know that that will never change…I was at the wrong place at the wrong time." Sakara muttered sitting next to him. Togusa put an arm around her and gave her a tight hug. Sakara pulled away from him slightly. He looked a bit surprised.

"I don't deserve your kindness….nor anyone else's." she said getting up and walking back to the door. "I did horrible things because I wanted to save my own worthless life."

Sakara walked out the room and entered the living room where the little girl was playing with a few toys. A doll was clutched tight in her hand. Sakara smiled at the child who looked up and smiled back.

Togusa lay back against the bed. He looked up at the ceiling wondering. "Why has this happened to me?" he asked aloud. No answer came from the four walls around him. The door was closed and he knew no one heard him. Togusa looked at the table near the bed. There was the picture of his wife and his children. The little girl was smiling happily and hugging her mother closely. Togusa was close to the woman to smiling at whoever had taken the picture. The little boy was held in his fathers arm sleeping. Togusa closed his eyes trying to block out the picture. He sighed; it would never be the same.

Togusa fell asleep after a few minutes of lying there. His dreams were held with memories of his wife. After about an hour of sleeping he woke up again. Sweat clung to him. His hair was matted to his forehead. There was a rap on the door.

"Come in." Togusa said drying his face with a nearby hand towel.

Sakara came in smiling with his daughter. The little girl laughed as she came in and jumped onto the bed where Togusa was sitting. He smiled at her.

"Daddy." she said holding a piece of paper. Togusa took the picture from the little girls hand and looked at it. He smiled a little looking at the picture. His daughter had drawn their family. He knew what she was going to ask next.

"Daddy, where's mommy?" she asked looking questioningly at her father.

"Mommy…isn't coming home." he said holding the picture.

"Why?" the girl asked smiling.

Togusa didn't answer her. He just smiled and told her that he was still very tired. The girl hopped off the bed and ran into the living room again to play. Togusa sighed. Sakara looked at Togusa sadly.

"You aren't going to tell her?" she asked.

"No…she won't understand." Togusa answered looking up at her.

"You'd be surprised…" Sakara said looking away from him. "Well I have to get going now…"

: End transmission :