Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia

On My Own

Pata pata pata pata!

I tilted my head to the side and closed my eyes contentedly. The rain always made such a soothing noise when it hit the ground. It almost seemed to tap out a beat underneath and all around me. It was quite lovely, really.

I glanced across my garden to the gate. It was pouring heavily, but of course England was almost always rainy, so that didn't bother me much. I walked quickly to the gate and pushed it open, walking between the large hedges into the woods behind my house. There was less rain on the path, considering the large canopy of leaves and branches above my head. I strolled down the path, taking notice of the fireflies flitting about and the fairies sleeping in their beds made of foliage and twigs. I sported a smile towards some of the last awake fairies, wishing them sweet dreams and a restful night.

I at last came to the edge of the path, and I ventured under my favorite old tree, a weeping willow growing by the edge of the river that passed through this little area. I settled in my favorite spot, right where I could see out of the tree's hanging branches.

The sight was breathtaking. A park rested not too far across the stream, though my spot was concealed everywhere except where I was looking. The small hole in the hedge allowed just enough room for me to see the pavement in the trimmed park, shining like silver in the rain. The lights from the lamps shone mistily on the river, the reflections casting soft light on the banks. The trees on the far side of the banks were waving lightly in the slight breeze. Starlight shone through them, further illuminating the river.

But none of those things could compare to the full moon, shining down every once in a while when there was a crack in the clouds. The light was almost brilliant enough to be day when it shone through, and when the moon was behind a cloud the silver lining shone like a heaven laid above that spot.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and-

"Hi."

I smiled and he sat next to me on the grass, his face softly illuminated by the stars and lamplight. The contours of his face were softer than in other, harder lighting, and it gave him an almost childish look. His glasses reflected the lights and behind them sky blue eyes smiled kindly at me. With his head tilted to the side and the faintest trace of a smile on his lips he was the picture of absolute perfection. A well-muscled but slim body lay underneath the shirt and jeans he wore, I knew. Perfection.

He wrapped a strong arm around me and pulled me to my feet, taking my hand.

"Let's go for a walk. What do you say?"

I smiled and nodded, and we headed into the streets. The rain was now just softly smacking the cobblestone road we trod on. Each little drop hit the road with a pata And a little sprinkle of silver droplets spraying up. Puddles glowed silver as we strode upon them, splashing as we laughed to ourselves. The dark of the sky eventually started turning light and he had to go. I understood, it has been that way every time. He could not stay, and neither could I.

I opened my eyes and looked through the weeping willow to the river. The lights that were shining on it so beautifully were now gone, leaving a clear stream dull of any reflective beauty. The trees' starlight was replaced with shadows just barely dispersed by bright sunlight peeking over the horizon. The pavement in the park across the stream was just grey, the puddles just murky pools of scum. The moon had now disappeared behind the horizon, the sun peeking over the opposite side.

I got up and walked the path to my house, past it, to a certain cottage where a couple was stirring for breakfast. I peered in the window, careful to be sly so nobody would spy me looking. There he was, in his perfection, sky blue eyes smiling at a certain pair of purple eyes instead of my green ones. His strong arms, wrapping around another waist and not mine. His sweet voice, laughing along with another and not mine.

He was never there. I know he wasn't, but it still kills me to know that we had a chance and we don't any more. If I close my eyes, I can picture us, there, forever and forever. I love him, and with him, everything is beautiful, we roam the streets in the night alone, bothered by nothing but the rain casting silver shadows along the cobblestone. The world is more beautiful than ever, and everything is familiar.

I love him, without him, and in the morning the water is murky, the sky only reminds me of his eyes, and the pavement is dull. In the morning I know I'm talking to myself, he is gone. The world around me changes, the world is bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers. Everyday I'm learning that all my life I've only been pretending.

Without me, his world will go on turning, his world so full of happiness that I will never know. And I'll be stuck pretending, waiting, for happiness that will never come. But I love him anyways. Even if this love will only bring despair, his perfection is all I need, even if it's not mine.

I love him.

Author's Note: I didn't use names because I wanted to let my parents read it and I don't they'd approve if they knew I was writing gay fanfiction... Anyways hope you enjoyed, please rate and review! Thanks~