Confusion and Truth

Kikalla rolled over in her bed. No matter how hard she tried, she could not fall asleep. By now she had grown tired of lying awake simply staring into the darkness, so she got up and made her way to the cargo hold. It wasn't nearly as comfortable as her quarters, but at least she was likely to find something there to keep her occupied. To her surprise, however, she was not the only one who was still awake.

"Can't sleep?" Torian asked calmly.

"Hell, I'd say that's an understatement," Kikalla replied, trying not to appear startled by the young Mandalorian. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just some upgrades, while I have the time," he answered. "From what I've heard about Belsavis we're going to need the best equipment we can get."

"No arguments there," the chiss said with a smirk. "Mind if I keep you company?"

"Of course not," Torian replied. He seemed pleasantly surprised, yet slightly nervous. "So what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Kikalla answered dismissively.

"If you don't want to talk about it I won't push you," he assured her, "but I can tell something's bothering you."

With a sigh, she relented. "Look, truth is sometimes I don't even know why I'm here at all. Or what I'm trying to find. Right now it's revenge, but what about after that? We take down Jun Seros and then what? I get one of you killed and start the whole process over? Really I'm starting to wonder what the hell I've gotten myself into. This isn't just some trouble with local gangs; I've been thrown into the war now. I should've known getting mixed up with the Jedi was just asking for a mess."

"Hey, whatever happens I'll stand by you," Torian tried to comfort her. "And it's about more than revenge; it's about honor and respect. Seros had your friends murdered to lure you out and then didn't even have the courage to face you himself. He's a shameless coward. Not to mention he and the chancellor have resorted to slander to have you eliminated by any means necessary. And they say they're the good guys." He shook his head at the idea. "We have every reason to fight back and avenge the others."

"You're right," Kikalla agreed. "But...that's not it. Might as well get the rest out while we're here. Is it wrong that I'm afraid to care about people because I don't want to face the possibility of losing them? Damn that sounds selfish…but it's not supposed to be."

"It's okay," Torian calmly responded, placing a hand on the bounty hunter's shoulder. "I'll admit I can't really relate but I can try to help you. Thanks to my father I've never been close to anyone, but now that he's gone I'm ready change that…and I don't want you to be afraid."

Realizing what he was saying, Kikalla found herself at a loss for words. Right now she didn't care that she was showing weakness; instead, she decided to accept her vulnerability as she wrapped her arms around him in a grateful embrace. Almost a minute had passed before she finally relaxed her grasp, and for a moment she just stood there quietly looking up into his deep blue eyes. "Torian," she said softly, "thank you."

"Anything for you, mesh'la," he murmured in reply, then forgetting all his earlier reservations he pulled her close again and kissed her.

It only lasted a few seconds, but Kikalla thought those seconds were perfect. When their lips parted, her expression finally began to lighten. "So," she began with a faint smile, "does this mean you're finally ready for this relationship?"

Torian responded with a short, quiet laugh. "We'll see," he said, then added with a small smile of his own, "But I'd say things are off to a good start."

"Fair enough," Kikalla replied. Her problems still were not resolved and maybe they never would be, but at least now she knew she would have the support she needed to deal with them. And tonight, at least, she would now be able to sleep peacefully.