Julian slammed the blond up against the wall before attaching their mouths. A leather covered leg kicked the door shut before it snaked around a waist. All of their clothes were on the floor before either boy could catch his breath. Their hormones didn't allow them to make it to the bedroom, and they barely made it to the loveseat. The alcohol in their system burned, but it could not compete with the overwhelmingly hot touches they shared. Julian moaned with pleasure, sealing his lip's to the other's neck. The taste he thought. It is always the taste. Whenever Julian thought he had finally found the perfect blond substitute, one that would cause his body to completely lose control, this was the constant reminder that he had coerced the wrong one into his bed. No matter how similar they looked, or how close in height they were, none of the men ever had that same sweet taste that left Julian's heart pulsing at an unhealthy rate. Once Julian realized that the man underneath him did not come remotely close to what he had been craving that night, the intensity behind his actions dimmed. This blond- Michael, or maybe Matthew- did not seem to notice. Julian allowed the man he had met just a few short hours ago to roll him onto his back and trail his tongue down the actors chest. Julian sighed and allowed the alcohol to cloud his mind, knowing all too well that it was not he himself who was gripping another man's shoulders and licking his salty jawline. Besides, Julian always had more of a sweet tooth. Logan woke in the morning sweating through his sheets. He threw them into the washer as the shower heated. That dream. It had been so real. He tried to keep his thoughts from wandering back to the night before, but after a dream like that it was nearly impossible. He had been at a nightclub that his coworker insisted had the hottest men in New York. Logan had been fighting off his pleas to go until last night, when he had finally broke. Ryan was ecstatic. He had been complaining that Logan had been too sulky lately and needed a night out. He could not have been more wrong. That man at the night club- he had looked so much like Julian- but it couldn't be. Julian was off filming some romantic comedy in LA. Besides, even if he was in the city, what were the odds that they had picked the same bar on a Friday night? Logan was only there for a few more days himself before returning to his father's office across the country. Logan had shaken off any hope once he had lost sight of the brunette at the bar and, through excessive amounts of alcohol, he had forgotten all about it. That is, until he made another appearance in a very realistic dream. Logan leaned into the steam of the shower as he relived the touches that had haunted his night. They were all too familiar. There was a pattern to how they had been intimate—a pattern that no number of shots could make him forget. Even with the throbbing pain in his head that had resulted from his determination to get as drunk as possible, he could still feel the tender fingers intertwining with his. Julian pushed his sunglasses higher up his nose as he stirred sugar into his third cup of the morning. The hangover he was experiencing was going to get a Hell of a lot more intense on the plane unless he could consume all of New York's coffee in the next four hours. The only good thing about the bomb that had gone off in his head was that it made him forget most of the … festivities of the night. This was always a comfort the mornings after a night like the last. Pleasure in the moment and none of the hurt afterwards. At least, Julian had tried to convince himself that the sting in his heart was nothing more than the leftover alcohol in his bloodstream. He had left Mark's (was that his name?) apartment before the other could even hope to wake up. When Julian left Mark had been drooling into his pillow. Charming, Julian thought as he drew up his pants. He saluted the unconscious form and clicked the door shut. The phone numbers would never made it past the kitchen trash and the only thing Julian was left with was the satisfaction that—for a few hours at least—he had been drunk and happy. Quickly shuffling out of the packed café, Julian flinched at the early morning traffic noises. Keeping his head down and his dark grey hoodie up, the brunette made his way to his hotel room. He had followed Mark back to his apartment last night, so Julian was still in the leather pants and tight tee-shirt he had worn to the club. Eager to get to his hotel fast enough to take a bath and nap before is flight, Julian hailed a cab and grumbled the address to the driver. He noticed distractedly that the driver had a picture of his kids pinned to the dashboard of the cab. There were three dark haired girls and a young boy dressed in an array of costumes. He turned his eyes bitterly toward the passing buildings, but Julian still couldn't stop his memory from flashing back to last halloween. "What did you say?" "I want to breakup." Logan's words slapped Julian across the face with more force the second time. He knew Logan expected a response but his head was spinning and wouldn't allow thoughts to process. "I can't do this anymore—and I don't think you can either—Julian, we're always in two different places. Not just physically—we're never on the same page anymore. I think we should just try to be on our own for a while." The more Logan spoke the more Julian wanted to defend their relationship and prove to him that he was wrong and they loved each other. The longer he thought about his weak defense, the truth in what Logan was saying showed clearer. "A while?" Julian repeated meekly. He knew this was the only untrue part of what Logan was saying. If they broke up there was no getting back together. Julian would leave Logan to be had been fighting constantly in these last few months, and Julian realized that maybe they were not going to make it another six months before Logan's internship was over and Julian's filming wrapped up. The best thing he could do for the both of them was not to fight Logan on this. If breaking up was what Logan really wanted, Julian wasn't going to stop him. Their whole relationship had been more of a dream—or fantasy—anyway. He had just hoped that it could have lasted longer "Its obvious that neither of us is happy right now. I just think that we'd be better off accepting it." Julian just opened his mouth and shut it a few times, unable to think of a way to respond. He just nodded slightly and walked to the bedroom. Silence surrounded the apartment, and part of Julian hoped that the sound of Logan running into his arms and telling him he was sorry and wrong would bring relief to his ears. Instead Julian's voice cracked as he said "I'll just get my things then." He had been visiting Logan at his place for a few days before he had to head to the set. His flight was lifting off that afternoon and Julian was already packed. He eased the door shut and headed to the airport three hours ahead of schedule.
"We're here kid." The gruff voice of the cab driver snapped Julian out of his flashback. He grunted a thank you as he slipped the money across the seats and threw the door open. It had been almost five months since Halloween. 140 nights where Julian had been unable to close his eyes without seeing another beautiful pair staring back at him.
…
Logan's headache subsided after he raided the hotel's supply of coffee. Room service had forgotten to include the morning paper on the breakfast tray, and he decided it would be good for him to get some fresh air. The hallway was empty and the low hum of the elevator music wasn't enough to keep his mind from wandering back to the night before. He had been at the bar ordering a drink—Ryan had already found someone to dance with. Logan smiled—they had been at the club for less than ten minutes before someone dressed in leather head to toe had begun eyeing his friend. Ryan was always a flirt, so there was no turning down a dance with this stud. Logan turned to ask the bartender for another drink when a flash of tousled brown hair caught his eye. The club's strobe lights made it impossible to make out the feature's of the face, but the curl of the lips as they leaned in to whisper into the waiter's ear made Logan's stomach flip. Before he realized what he was doing Logan began advancing across the bar, nearly knocking the customer to his left off the bar stool in order to get a better look. He studied the silhouette as he helped the man catch his balance. Quickly shuffling across the floor to catch the familiar face, he lost the man in the crowd. Logan stood in the middle in of the dance floor turning every which way hoping he could find it again. There was no use; he had disappeared. A hand on his shoulder made him jump as he turned and shrugged the drunk man off of him. It took three drinks for Logan to realize who the stranger had reminded him of. Four more were put into Logan forgetting. Julian nodded his thanks to the maid as she held open the door to the hotel lobby. Balancing his coffee and newspaper in one hand, he patiently waited for the elevator to arrive to bring him to his room. He stepped in and pressed the button to his floor, running his fingers through his hair as he slipped his sunglasses off. The doors eased closed slowly as a tall figure in the lobby unfolded the morning paper. His fingers flexed and the paper snapped as it was lowered, revealing the stranger's face. Looking up to read an article, Julian caught the man's attention and their eyes connected for a split second. Julian's heart stopped as the face in front of him was closed out by sliding metal doors. The the last sliver of outside light closing off snapped Julian out of his trace and he lunged for the keypad. Even though he knew it was no use Julian's fingers smashed repeatedly against the first floor button. He wasted no time when the elevator finally stopped on the third floor, and bolted for the staircase. Slightly out of breathe when he reached the lobby, and his head throbbing harder than ever, Julian visibly cringed when the spot in front of the desk. He didn't care about the pounding in his head that told him to slow his heart rate. He only wanted to see whether it was his eyes or his imagination that was out to break his heart. Logan yawned as he picked up the morning paper off of one of the side tables in the lobby. He opened it up to the entertainment section—a habit he had developed a long time ago. A familiar face in his view sent an electric current up his spine, only it wasn't in the photos on the paper in his hands. He froze as a pair of doors severed his line of vision. The paper fell to Logan's side as he ran to the uselessly press the button in hopes that the doors would open and he would still be inside waiting for Logan to be right about seeing him at the night club all along. Logan had no idea what he was going to do Julian actually was in the elevator. He didn't care, he just had to see him. It had been five months since Julian had walked out of his life, and there had been no contact between the two in any way. Derek had tried to get them together to work it out, but both of ex-couple had been resistant. 'It was for the best,' they had told Derek. He didn't buy it either. Logan recalled writing out texts or pulling up his email only to hit cancel at the last second. He could feel the heat in his face spread as the sound of the elevator coming down the hatch caught his attention. This was it. After all this time, Logan had the slightest chance of seeing him again. He felt naked standing in front of the elevator, the knots in his stomach did not help calm him. Twisting the newspaper in his hands, the pristine doors opened like a curtain to reveal an empty stage. "Wright, Logan Wright," The words tumbled off of Julians tongue like they were a foreign language. He had not spoken that name in 140 days, at least not out of his drunken stupor, and his heart ached at the satisfaction he received in saying it out loud. "What room is he staying in?" It was taking every ounce of his energy to prevent himself from hurdling over the desk and ripping apart the reservation book himself. "I'm sorry, but our guest list is kept private." This answer only frustrated Julian more, since it neither confirmed nor denied the possibility that the blond in the lobby was actually Logan. Julian was convinced that he was not just a hallucination triggered by his hangover. He shoved away from the desk and looked around the lobby franticly. He was positive that had been Logan. Julian had been in love with the man for so long, he could have picked him out of the crowd in Time Square.
…
"Sorry!" Logan called to the maid he had nearly knocked over running out of the elevator. After it had came up empty, he had gotten in and hit random floor before pressing his forearms on the wall of the tiny box. What am I doing he asked himself, even though the answer was clearer than anything else had been in the last 140 days.
He ran up and down the hallways of eight floors before Logan found himself sitting on the fire escape of one of them. His pajama bottoms flapped against his ankles as the wind tousled his bed head. In his arms lay his face, breathing in and out slowly even though his empty heart was racing with defeat. He shifted into a sitting position, letting his feet dangle off the end of the ladder. He looked out to the city, unable to notice the skyscrapers, instead seeing all the places his heart could be hiding.
…
Julian let the gravel crunch under his feet and back as he lay on the room of the hotel.
Logan's long fingers caged Julian's face and connected their lips with such force they both stumbled back on the gravel roof. Before Julian's heart could restart in time for his brain to formulate a reaction, his fingers found their way into Logan's locks and wound themselves tightly into position. Julian loved that even after all this time he knew what path logan's long fingers would take down his jaw before coming back up to frame his face so he could be pulled impossibly closer.
"I love you" they whispered a thousand times over as legs intertwined and lips caressed skin that had been longed for. The room was filled with soft cries and relieving breaths until the sun left them for the sounds of a New York night. When they finally slowed enough to just hold each other,