A/N: Okay, so this story doesn't quite have to do with newsies. However, it has more characters from newsies than from anywhere else, as well as containing a number of newsie fanfiction writers. For that reason, I am posting it in the newsies section.

Katrina: * pouring punch into punch bowl * Why do they call it a punch bowl? It's not really a bowl when you think about it. Bowls are small.

Alex: * smirking * Why do they call bowling bowling? You aren't using a bowl for that either.

Lauren: * walks into room * When you finish pondering the meaning of life and snack foods can you please help me get the room straightened up?

Alex: Are we going to help her?

Katrina: No.

Alex: Okay. * grabs bag of chips * So, who all is coming tonight?

Katrina: Gimme some chips * catches bag that Alex tossed * Hmm.. I think Sweets, Frenchy, Fingers, and Sprite. And then of course Brandon and Jono.

Lauren: Sounds good to me.

* doorbell rings *

Alex: I got it. * runs to door * Who is it?

Fingers: Who do you think it is?

Alex: * opens door * Heya.

Fingers: Do I smell popcorn? * pushes past Alex * POPCORN! * runs and steals the popcorn out of Katrina's hands *

Alex: Love you too.

Sweets: * walks through open front door * Yes, we all love you Alex.

Katrina: No, no, no. You all love me. I'm the pretty one.

Brandon: You're all my sexy bitches. * grabs Alex in leech hold * Hey there, sweets.

Sweets: Meow?

Brandon: Not you. Alex. * shakes head in desperation * Never mind.

* phone rings *

* no one moves *

Alex: Okay, okay, I'll get it. Lazy asses. * picks up phone * Hey. * pause * WHAT?!? * pause * That dirty little whore!

Lauren: Why do I get the feeling something isn't going right?

Alex: FUCK!

Lauren: Oh yeah, that'd be why.

Alex: Okay, well, there wasn't anything you could do. * pause * Yeah, all right, seeya in a few. * pause * 6615 Lakehurst. * pause * Just off Hillcrest * pause * Yeah. Take a left. * pause * Okay, bye.

Katrina: Is there a problem?

Alex: Apparently Mark passed out a bunch of flyers about a free beer party at our house and announced it on TV.

Lauren: Mark?

Alex: Do the words "Empire Records" mean anything to you?

Frenchy: Oh shit.

* knock on door *

Alex: No fuckin' way.

Fingers: * gets up and opens doors * Hey Jono.

Jono: Alex, what the hell is going on outside your house?

Alex: * looks out window * SHIT!

[At least twenty cars are visible outside of the house]

Alex: MARK IS GONNA DIE!

Sprite: * walks up to the door * Don't kill him yet. * points to the crowd * Just look at who's outside.

[On the lawn]

Racetrack: What d'ya heah? What d'ya say?

Jack Kelly: Hey! Spot, dis ain't Santa Fe! Ya lied, ya bastahd.

Mush: How else was he supposed ta get ya heah?

[At a different spot on the lawn]

Ted: Bill, dude, this is MOST EXCELLENT!

Bill: Ted, dude, this isn't just excellent.. this is BODACIOUS!!

* bill and ted do air guitar *

Ted: EXCELLENT!

[Another patch of grass]

Snake: * pointing to Avril Lavigne * Man, that girl over there is definitely a * snap *

Verena, Tinka, Odie, Tweety: FLAT CRITTER!

Snake: You're learning quick.

Avril: Flat critter? That could be a good song! Lemme go tell my songwriter to work with my guitarist on it. * thinks * And I could put like some HARDCORE keyboards in it! That'll make people think I'm punk! PUNK RAWK!

Neo: * pulls out gun and shoots Avril * That's better.

Morpheous: You really are the one!!

[back to our favorite hero and heroines.. well.. sorta]

Alex: We are so screwed.

- - - - - - - - -

A/N: Okay, so this came outta no where, but there's nothing wrong with that. I know, I know, I just keep starting new things. But I'm going to finish this one. This is my first attempt at humor and parodies, so please respect it.