A/N: So, this is just something I drabbled with during my writers block. It's how Andie and Spencer would've met if Spencer hadn't kicked the heroin addiction. Warning, it's pretty sad. Oh, and this story was inspired by... You're Beautiful by James Brown. A lovely song.
For those of you who don't know, Andie is my OC in my other CM story called Revelations. If you like this, you should go check that out. It's pretty good, or so the reviews say.
Disclaimer: If I owned this, I would put "Claimer" instead of "Disclaimer".
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You're Beautiful
It had been a long four months since Spencer had left the BAU.
Long, high, strung out, four months.
It wasn't his fault they had pretty much forced him out. His addiction wasn't that bad. Just…. An addiction. He was still doing good at his job. Sure, he snapped every once in awhile, but it's a stressful job. And while everyone else preferred whiskey and beer after a job; he preferred heroin.
And then when they started bugging him to go to rehab and shit, he just couldn't take it.
"Spencer you need help!"
"You're getting out of control."
"You need to get a grip and help yourself."
What a load of shit. He didn't need help. He was fine. So finally he just quit. Told everyone where to go and left. They tried to check up on him, but he refused to pick up the phone or answer the door. And finally they just stopped. And good riddance.
He rubbed his eyes as he waited in the subway terminal. He had sold his car a few weeks ago for some extra cash, and he wasn't going to walk all the way downtown.
He sighed and looked around. Stupid fucking subway was taking forever.
He glared as a subway pulled up and stopped with an terrible screech. Gawd that thing was annoying. He looked around, trying to find the section that would be the least filled.
He started to wonder if he should just wait for the next one, when he saw something.
He looked, and saw two ocean eyes, staring at him. His mind went blank. The eyes were deep blue and he couldn't understand what he was feeling. He looked as to who they belonged to. A beautiful brunette girl with short hair and pale skin. Under one of her eyes he could barely see a mole. She wore a red tank top and blue jeans. On her arm was a red bag.
It was weird but she seemed to…. Glow.
She was… Beautiful.
She stared at him, and he stared at her.
He felt like she was looking at every inch soul. She saw all of him, his past, present, future. All of him in one glance.
Could she see he was high? Could she see how strung out and screwed up he was?
For the first time in long time, he felt…. Ashamed. Ashamed how fucking high he was in front of this beautiful girl. She was probably pitying him. Thinking how gross he was that he was such an obvious junkie.
But then she did something that surprised him.
She smiled.
He tried so hard to smile back, and he barely accomplished it. He didn't know what it was, but he knew that he loved this girl. Somehow, they were meant to be.
He smiled.
But she looked away and at a guy. Spencer looked at him. The guy was tall, strong, and Spencer could tell he was smart. He was holding the girls hand and talking to her.
He wasn't a junkie.
Spencer felt to many emotions. How could he think he loved this girl? He was a junkie. A loser. An addict.
She was perfect. She couldn't even be to close to him.
She smiles at him once more, and leaves.
He stares at where she once stood.
Regret. Something he also hadn't felt in a long time. He didn't smile back. He didn't wave. He didn't go talk to her. He didn't admit he needed help. He didn't let his friends help him.
He gets on the subway, thinking of nothing.
He meets his dealer. Buys three times his usual amount.
He gets back on the subway.
He thinks of nothing but the needles in his pocket as he walks to his apartment.
He slams his door and walks over to his couch. He lays out all of his supplies. Needle. Spoon. Lighter. Rubber band. Drug.
He fills four needles to the top after melting the powder.
He prepares his vein.
He picks up the needle….
And injects.
Emotions flood him.
Regret. Shame. Love. Hate. Hurt. Pain. Sadness. Anger. Confusion. Tired. Desire. Wanting. Need.
He injects again.
Regret for not getting help.
Shame for letting it get this bad.
Love for the girl, the team.
Hate for himself and his weakness.
Hurt for closing out the team.
Pain for having to see a future he let go.
Sadness for never meeting that girl.
Anger for failing.
Confusion for why he feels all this.
Tired of himself and this addiction.
Desire to inject again.
Wanting to inject again and sleep.
Need to inject again and sleep and let go.
He injects again.
Emily. I'm sorry, I should have been nicer.
Derek. I'm sorry. I should have let you help.
JJ. I'm sorry. I should have listened.
Aaron. I'm sorry. I should have stayed.
Penelope. I'm sorry. I should have cared.
Jason. I'm sorry. I should have been nicer, and let you help, and listened, and stayed, and cared.
Beautiful Girl. I'm sorry. I should have known your name.
He injects again.
I'm sorry.
He closes his eyes.
Forgive me.
He lets the pain stop.
He dies.
.&.
She smiles, until she feels a tug on her hand.
"Hey, babe, why'd you stop?" he asks.
She turns to face the man she was holding hands with. "I just saw someone David," she tells him.
David looks over where she was looking to see a guy staring at her. "You know him?"
"It's weird," she says. "I know I don't know him but… I feel like I'm suppose to." She looks over and smiles at him again. She feels butterflies.
David chuckles and rolls his green eyes. "Come on, I gotta get to that teacher conference," he says and they leave.
Later that night, Andie will have an asthma attack from a sudden pain in her chest. While she's drove to the hospital, she'll hear someone say, "I'm sorry. I should have known your name. I'm sorry. Forgive me."
When they rush her into the ER, she'll whisper, "I'm Andie. I forgive you."
And she goes to sleep.
She lives.
The End.
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A/N: So, that's that. Little side story if Spencer hadn't stopped the whole addiction thing. Tell me what you think. Oh, and as for David, we'll meet him again in my other story.
You know you wanna click the button.
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