This was written for the Plots I Never See challenge. I really enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it! I must disclaim, Harry Potter is most definitely not mine.
To Be Okay
The thing George hates most is the times when he forgets. Because while he remembers his twin is dead, he can cope with it. What he hates most is when he forgets for a single moment, when he says something offhandedly to Fred, or starts a joke and waits for his brother to complete it. Because if constantly knowing is like having a burn, then suddenly remembering is like being hit by a dragon's tail. Sudden, sharp, and infinitely more painful.
That's why he leaves, initially. Because the Muggle world is nothing like his own. It's crazy and complicated and George has no idea what he's doing, but every time he looks up and sees a car, a refrigerator, the telly, he's reminded. He's surrounded by something completely unlike anything he's experienced before, and he has no chance of falling back into old routines.
George converts all of his Weasley's Wizard Wheezes profit into Muggle money, leaves the business in the capable hands of his manager, and rents a flat in London, up on Catherine Street. On his first day, he stares at the pre-furnished flat forlornly, not even knowing what half the things in it do, and then goes for a walk. He ends up by the London Eye, gazing blankly out at the Thames. The murky waters give him no comfort. All around him, strangers rush by, heedless to his misery.
Fred would have loved it. He'd always wanted to explore the Muggle world, but it wasn't safe what with Voldemort targeting Muggles. They'd agreed, after the war, that they'd go sightseeing, explore this world that existed parallel to their own. But that was never going to happen. Fred and George would never do anything together again.
The flat is nice, if a bit plain. His neighbour, Helena, comes to visit one evening, the day after he'd moved in. Helena's a nice woman in her fifties, widowed by the Muggle war in Afghanistan. She has graying hair that sticks in every direction and laugh lines that deepen every time she smiles. George soon learns that Helena has taken it upon herself to adopt him and take him under her mothering wing. "All my children are grown," she laments one day to him as she teaches George how to make lasagne. "They never call! My girl's in Dublin and my boy's in Manchester. You'd think they'd give their old mum a visit every now and then, but no!" George pats her shoulder awkwardly and Helena sighs. "I don't suppose you talk to your mum much. Kids these days always seem to forget about their parents."
"I…" George had never really considered how his parents would take him leaving. He'd moved in a month before, and in that time, he'd never so much as Flooed them. "You're right. I'd just… forgotten." And it was true. He had. His leaving had been twofold. George was slowly managing to mute the pain of Fred's death while he immersed himself in this alien world, but at the same time, he had shut out every other aspect of his old life as well.
"Well," Helena says, putting the lasagne George's oven, which he now knows how to operate, "you're a smart lad. Just remember that sometimes, parents need their kids just as much as kids need their parents."
After that, George visits his family for dinner every other Sunday. He finds that the camaraderie of family is just what he needs. But the Burrow brings back more than just his living family. George finds himself looking over his shoulder while he's there, half expecting Fred to be there just behind him. Each instinctive glance is a punch in the gut.
The Muggle world is safer. Helena goes to a ladies' book club, and one day, she brings one of the girls from the club to meet George. Jennie is a sweet girl, bubbly and a bit of a dreamer, and George finds he likes her quite a bit. They arrange a date for the next day to go and get a coffee. When he tells Helena, the woman simply gives him a pleased smirk and tells him she was always a good matchmaker.
Jennie, as it turns out, works in a book shop. She's a cashier, supposedly, but she confesses to George that she usually reads her way through her job. The book store gets very little business, according to Jennie, and it can be painfully boring standing around waiting for non-existent customers. Giving Jennie a wicked grin, George promises to visit her at work some time.
Life is nice in the Muggle world. It's simple, calm. George doesn't have to deal with prejudice based on blood or funds. He can live his life with grouping the world into Light or Dark. Helena shows him how to survive on his own, how to cook his own meals, how to work the machines at the laundromat, how to pay his rent. Jennie is a companion in a sea of strangers, a friend George can always call up and meet to hang out. George thinks that maybe, without magic, without normalcy, he can even be… happy.
Sometimes at night he wakes up, crying out for Fred. On those nights, he pads into the main living space of his flats, flips on the telly, and watches bad late night reruns until he's calm again. Mostly though, he's fine.
After a couple more dates, Jennie breaks up with George. Something about having too many secrets. Jennie's a very open person, and when George always refuses to tell her about his family, or his school, or his ambitions in life, it bothers her. So when she tells George after another attempt at conversation about his life that he never tells her anything, George can't really deny it. He doesn't speak to Jennie at all after that.
Helena hugs him closely and tells him that everything will be okay. George doesn't really hear her. His visits to his family have dropped to once a month. He's been living in the Muggle world for almost a year.
George gets a job. He hasn't had one this whole time, instead relying on his savings from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. But now, he needs another distraction. He works at a Tesco, stocking the shelves. It's tedious work, but it gives him something to do.
Helena introduced him to another young friend from the book club, but George never calls the girl back. He can't even remember her name.
It's May. Almost a full year has passed. On 2 May, the first anniversary of what the press is calling "The Battle of Hogwarts", George locks himself in his flat and drinks cheap whiskey all day. When Helena knocks on his door to invite him to dinner, he doesn't respond.
When Helena asks him about it the next day as George nurses a nasty hangover, George mutters something about a twin brother who died in battle. Helena rubs his back and tells him about her own late husband, who died in the Muggle war. For once, George lets down his barriers and sobs into Helena's chest. The woman holds him tight, embracing him in his hour of need as if he were one of her own children.
George hasn't used magic since he joined the Muggle world. On 4 May, he Apparates to his brother's grave.
Fred is buried in a lonely cemetery high on a hill overlooking Ottery St. Catchpole. The graveyard is silent. Not even a bird dares to sing. George steps carefully around the headstones of the Muggles buried there until he finds his brother, laid next to Fabian and Gideon Prewett, the brothers that their names were tribute to. Gideon had died before Fabian. George wished that he had died before Fred.
Instead of placing flowers or something equally sentimental (Fred would kill him in the afterlife if George went girly on him), George gently lays an Extendable Ear in front of the grave. Around it, he places various Skiving Snackboxes. Finally, he sprinkles some Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder atop the headstone, plunging the area around it into sudden blackness. George stands solemnly, his senses unable to register anything besides the dark. In that single instant, he feels closer to Fred than he has since his twin died one year and two days ago.
As the effect of the powder fades, George Apparates back into his Muggle flat. The magic makes him feel odd. For over a year, he hadn't used magic for anything. Even when he visited the Burrow, he'd taken Muggle transport. But it had felt only right to Apparate to his brother's resting place. Fred had died defending free magic. It would have been wrong to waste his sacrifice.
George goes back to his life. Four days a week, he goes into work at Tesco. The remaining time, he goes out on his own or visits with Helena. He'll be the first to admit he hasn't exactly tried hard to make friends.
One day in mid-July, Helena comes up to visit George looking sadder than usual. "Georgie, sweetheart, I'm moving out."
George glances up sharply from where he's preparing a salad. "Moving?"
"Yeah." Helena looks sad. "I just can't afford London anymore. I'm going to the country."
"But…" George can't think of what to say. "But I need you!"
"No, baby." Helena moves to give him a hug; George towers over her. "You'll do just fine on your own." She gives him a sympathetic smile. "Get out. Meet some people. Make friends. You don't need an old woman like me around. You're young! You have so much life ahead of you!"
George sighs deeply and holds Helena tight to him. It's as if he hugs the older woman to him hard enough, she'll have to stay. "I'll pay for your flat!"
"Sweetie…" Helena slips out of George's arms. She plants a hand on each of his shoulders and holds him firmly. "You'll be fine. I believe in you. You can come visit me whenever you like. Okay?"
George nods vacantly.
"Good boy."
When Helena leaves two weeks later, she kisses George on the cheek and makes him promise to call. George nods and realizes he is lonelier than ever.
A recent uni grad moves in to Helena's old flat. George resents him briefly, but eventually decides to be neighbourly and pop in for a visit. The graduate's name turns out to be Allen, and he's a fairly pleasant sort. George invites him over for take-away Chinese and finds out that Allen is a bit cocky, a bit bookish, but mostly just an average bloke who likes football and women. They go out for drinks, flirt a bit with the female patrons at the bar, and generally have a good time. George decides that he likes Allen.
They hang out frequently. Allen supports Manchester United, and since George still doesn't quite understand football, he decides to support Manchester as well. He's reminded of Helena's son in Manchester and calls the woman up for a chat. She's thrilled to hear from him. George feels vaguely guilty that he's talking to Helena more than his own mother, but decides that he can do as he likes. He'd stopped visiting his family for dinner months before.
Around Christmas, a year and a half after moving to the Muggle world, George goes back to the Burrow for Christmas. His mum fusses terribly and tells him that he really must visit more often. George nods vacantly and ignores her.
He spends Boxing Day with Allen, going out and drinking together. They're both mildly buzzed when Allen asks the question no one else has dared to ask – what happened to his ear? George is feeling a bit dazed and he's losing control of his inhibitions. "I lost it in a fight," he says, tipping the bartender particularly well.
"A fight?" Allen asks, his words slightly slurred.
"Yeah. Got it sliced right off." George makes a cutting motion by his ear. "Right bastard who did it too. Turns out he was a good guy. Don't care. Took my ear." He frowns into his drink. "I joked about it. Holy. You know… holey? S' funny, see? My twin… didn't think it was funny. He's dead. My twin."
"You had a twin?"
"Yup. Fred. Freddy. Freddy boy. Loved him. Don't feel right without him, you know?"
"I've got a sister," Allen slurs. "Older sister. Ran away with her boyfriend. She was sixteen. Haven't seen her since. Might as well be dead."
"Well, that's life," George mumbles.
"Yup. That's life."
They punctuate this statement with shots.
The next day, both terribly hung over, George and Allen are both laying around George's flat when there's a knocking on the door. Groaning and holding his head, George hauls himself off his couch and opens to door. On the other side, to his utter shock, is Angelina Johnson, looking as regal and beautiful as ever. "George," she says in greeting. George nods, unable to articulate a reply. Behind George, Allen appears.
"Who's this, George?" He gives George a glances that says 'she's hot.'
"This is a friend from school. Angelina." George rubs his head. "D'ya want to come in? I mean, course you do. You came here."
"I'll leave now," Allen says, stepping around Angelina. "Give you two time to talk. Sides, my flat's darker." Groaning, he slips out and heads back for his own place. Angelina steps inside the door and closes it behind her.
"What are you going here, George?" she asks, far too loudly for George's liking. He gestures vaguely to his head, and Angelina huffs loudly. "Are you hung over? Honestly." She waves her wand sharply and George's symptoms vanish. "Now talk to me like a man. George, why are you here?"
"I had to get out. Of everything." He gives Angelina a suspicious look. "Did my mother send you?"
"Of course not! I sent me!" Angelina seems frustrated. "George, I miss you. I've been looking for you for ages!"
"Oh." George blinks. "That's awfully nice of you."
"Are you coming back?"
George has never seriously considered that question. It had always been 'one month' or 'one more year.' He'd never thought about whether or not his living situation would become permanent. "I don't know."
"Okay." Angelina seems tired. "I was just… wondering if you'd like to hang out some time? I mean…" she rushes to explain, "it's been so long since I've seen you, and you're my friend, and I want to make sure you're okay, and I know it was harder for you than anyone when Fred died, and I just… I just…"
"Angelina," George says, smiling easily, "would you like to get lunch with me?"
"I… okay." Angelina blushes slightly. "Um… where?"
"I know a nice little café," George assures her. "I'm good at Muggle money now."
"Oh… good."
It's not exactly a date, but the lunch with Angelina is nice. They catch up, mostly, George asking about old friends and Angelina interrogating him about what life is like with Muggles. By the end, they've regained their friendly repertoire and are laughing about what's happened to their old friends. George entertains Angelina with stories about his early days in the Muggle world: his shock at moving pictures on the telly and his confusion over how an oven worked. He tells her about Helena and visiting Fred's grave. Their conversation is completely spontaneous, and for once, George doesn't have to watch every word he says. Where he kept secrets from Jennie, he can talk freely to Angelina, because she understands everything that he's been through, understands his world and his life experience.
Although he stays in his flat on Catherine Street, George visits Angelina, and by extension, his other friends from Hogwarts. Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Oliver Wood, Alicia Spinnet. They're all thrilled to see him again after such a long separation. They go see Oliver play Quidditch for Puddlemere United and listen to Lee's radio comedy. George is happy with his old friends, but in a way, he misses the simplicity of his Muggle life. He calls Helena up one night and explains the situation in vague terms. Helena advises him to try and balance both of his lives, but not to neglect either. They're wise words, but George isn't sure how he can manage it.
Allen gets a girlfriend called Leah. Leah's a rough and tumble tomboy who likes football and computers. Allen's completely smitten, and while George is left out of their dates, they also hang out as a group to watch football or go out on the town. Leah has a friend, Beth, who joins them from time to time. George likes Beth, who's the polar opposite of Leah. While Leah is aggressive, Beth of demure. While Leah is loud, Beth is quiet. While Leah is tough, Beth is shy.
They go out on a date once, but Beth is hidden behind a shell of shyness. George attempts to draw her out with jokes, to no avail. They don't go out again.
George finds he's happy having two groups of friends. He considers Allen his best friend, but he's also very close to Angelina, who seems to be on a mission to draw him back into Wizarding society. It's sometimes hard to juggle, but George slowly begins to merge his two worlds. When he went into Muggle London, he went cold turkey – no magic whatsoever. Now, he begins to combine his magical and Muggle lives. He used magic to prepare meals faster, to turn on lights when the switch is far away, to summon his shoes when he can't find them. But George likes aspects of Muggle life too, like electricity and television and phones. He likes how Muggles have science and can explain most everything about the world. He likes how wizards have magic and can do things beyond the laws of the universe. He likes how Muggles have museums and craft fairs and computers. He likes how wizards have gnomes and broomsticks and tents that are bigger on the inside. He likes aspects of both worlds. It is selfish of him to want to have both?
On the two-year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, George visits Fred's grave with his friends. They all gather around the headstone solemnly, paying their respects to their fallen friend. George feels a deep pang of loss and realizes that he hasn't been brooding in a long time. In fact, it's almost like he's finally okay.
And with great contemplation, standing on that hilltop with his Wizarding friends, knowing that he's going to see Allen and Leah later that night, George realizes it's because he finally is okay.