Rated: M

Genre: Romance/Drama

Summary: Part 8 of the Clandestine Trysts series. Rumple and gang are on their way to New York to find Bae; meanwhile, in Avonlea, Belle attempts to deal with the aftermath of Rumple's letter and focus on raising her baby despite the looming danger the Evil Queen presents.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Once. This is purely for my enjoyment and nothing more.

A/N: I told you I would be back! This is my own AU twist to the episode "Manhattan" and this directly follows the end of Part 7 Seizing Destiny in the Clandestine Trysts. I know a lot of you have been waiting for this and I hope you like it as much as I did writing this!

Lost and Found

By: Erik'sTrueAngel

Part 1

Boarding the plane for New York City was one of the most difficult things for Rumplestiltskin to do. Regardless of the fact he had his family with him (his fiancée Belle and their daughter Lily-Rose) in addition to the Savior Emma Swann and her son Henry… Rumple, to put it simply, was nervous.

Not the typical type of nervousness with the anticipated tingly nerves fluttering in the pit of your stomach. No… it was more of a life-changing awareness weighed down by the countless bad decisions and betrayal of the deepest kind that cuts into your heart and soul.

Including regrets.

Rumple made it a point in his life to avoid regrets as much as possible, yet despite his intentions, he had the two biggest ones that he wished he could take back.

One was obviously the way he had left Belle in Avonlea after Lily-Rose's birth. While he talked himself into thinking it was for their protection—it was mainly done so he could make those final preparations for when Regina cast the Dark Curse to the Land Without Magic. Also, he was a coward to admit that he and Belle were True Loves and that their child was a product of it. Another brilliant reason he talked himself into leaving was that Belle's husband, Gaston, was the man she deserved. The man that could love and raise Lily-Rose as his own without ever knowing the truth. Of course, he was royally wrong and it led to twenty-eight years of Hell of being close to Belle and Lily-Rose, but not close enough.

Then there was his number one regret: letting go of Bae's hand.

For centuries, Rumple plagued himself with the "what if" possibilities and paths his life could have lead. He imagined what would have become of him if he had followed Bae into that portal. Would he retain his newfound power or would he revert back to that lame spinner he had once been? Or what if Bae didn't fall—what if he chosen to stay with his father?

Life would have been much different and he would have no reason to groom Regina with her magic. Hell, he probably never would have met Cora. And then that got him wondering that without Regina's birth, she wouldn't have told Sir Gaston about his dagger and he wouldn't have been enslaved to the knight or meet Belle.

However, in his heart, he believed he and Belle would have crossed paths some other way. They were True Love—they were fated to be together. The only difference would be that he would have had his son with him (he would keep him alive all that time). Bae would have a mother he deserved and a little sister to dote upon. Rumple could see that happening and it was a fantasy untainted by revenge and darkness and pain.

It was, indeed, a happily ever after.

But reality came crashing once the seatbelt signs lit up and the pilot's voice crackled through the speakers, informing the passengers they will be taking off shortly. The flight attendant stood in the aisle and was going over the procedures of what to do in case of an emergency when Belle rested her hand over his. He had been gripping the armrest so tightly he hadn't realized his knuckles turned chalk white.

"What's wrong love?" Belle asked her voice flooded with concern, matching her azure orbs. "Are you still nervous about the flight?"

For the former residents of the Enchanted Forest—this was their first time flying. Even though Belle's cursed memories had reminiscences of being on an airplane, she was doing remarkably well with her current awareness. Even Lily-Rose was excited about this adventure thanks to Henry Mills' eagerness rubbing off on her. Furthermore, Rumple had an inkling of a memory of flying over from Scotland, but that had been years ago for Mr. Gold, and it wasn't real. Yet, his anxiety was more than just this experience.

A flash of understanding swept over Belle's features as she squeezed his hand affectionately. "It's Bae isn't it?" she asked with her acute perception.

He sighed, nodding. That was his Belle all right. As Henry and Ms. Swann would say, her superpower was her uncanny ability to empathize and read a person's emotions hauntingly well. Sometimes it was downright supernatural. "What if he refuses to see me? Or even speak to me? What if we can't find him? What if we do find him and he sees you and Lily-Rose and thinks I replaced him? What if…?"

"Rumple," Belle interrupted gently, placing her finger over his lips. "You're jumping to conclusions. It's not going to help you when you do see him—and we will find him. I know it didn't end well with the two of you, but that was years ago. You were different and look at how much you've changed! I'm sure Bae has too and perhaps he even reached an understanding of what transpired. Or the very least forgiveness. Either way—he is your son. That hasn't changed and we all know he hasn't been replaced. No one can do that."

"I know Belle but—" He shook his head. "I don't want him thinking I stopped loving him."

"If he does then he's just as pigheaded as you," she said with a smile. "But I doubt that will happen."

The captain announced they were taking off and Lily-Rose turned to face her parents with a huge grin. "We gonna fly!"

"Yes we are," Belle said, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth as Henry leaned next to Lily-Rose with his book opened. Instantly, the two were absorbed with one of the stories. Emma shook her head in amusement as she popped a piece of gum in her mouth. She offered a stick to Henry, and then to Belle and Rumple. As the plane rolled down the runway gaining speed, Rumple clutched the armrest once more, almost forgetting to chew his gum to help the pressure on his ears.

As they climbed the ascent, he was grateful that his fiancée continued to hold his hand. She kept him grounded despite the overwhelming panic that was leaping within him. When it was clear they were now at the right altitude, Rumple was able to relax, loosening his grip on the handle, and checked to make sure his daughter was all right. Lily-Rose still had her nose buried in Henry's book and was nonplussed about the takeoff. Yes she was very much Belle's daughter in that respect and he chuckled quietly to himself.

One thing was for certain—he had changed. They all have but Belle was right in that he wasn't the same man anymore. It still astounded him that this incredible woman was willing to give him a second chance. Sometimes he wondered if he deserved it but one look at his tiny family and he knew this was a gift. He wasn't going to ruin this family not like he did with Bae. But Rumple knew he came close to destroying it after what he had done to Belle…

xxXXxx

Avonlea, the Enchanted Forest

Still clutching her lover's letter, Belle stared at the paper and ink. Her mind was continuingly having a difficult time in processing the content that was written. It had been only a day hence Hannah discovered it, but it felt far longer than that.

Over and over she reread those torturous words, but the more she read them the more confused and angrier she became.

It didn't make any sense! Why would he do this to her? To their daughter? Didn't it mean anything to him?

Of course it didn't… according to the letter at least. No, she had been a good fuck while it lasted and he got his dagger back (which was what he wanted), but the cruel and mocking words felt somewhat flat and unconvincing to her. Like he was trying to convince himself that this was what it was between them, nothing more.

Or so she told herself. The fact didn't change that she was the Dark One's lover and that she gave birth to his child. Yet, he seemed adamant that Lily-Rose was Gaston's all along.

Was she? Or was Belle hoping and praying for too long that it was Rumple's babe she carried? Could it be that she wanted it so badly that she believed it the moment she was placed in her arms?

If Lily-Rose was truly a child of the Dark One, then wouldn't she possess some trace of magic? Sadly, Belle didn't know how to go about in testing that theory, not without exposing her infidelity. But was it possible that Rumple didn't sense any magic in her and jumped to the conclusion that Lily-Rose must have been her husband's? The likelihood was probable since she had lay with both men around the same time. And she did tell Rumple that if it was Gaston's she couldn't bear to separate the child from its father. Had it been his way of breaking the news to her to prevent the heartache of leaving each other?

If so… why the crudeness? Why take what they shared and degrade it so? What was his motive other than inflict pain?

Yet, while she thought about it… she knew she couldn't really stay with Gaston. Even if Lily-Rose was her husband's, she didn't love Gaston. She couldn't lie to her own flesh and blood and the risk of running out with the man she loved seemed better than the lie. Rumple could still raise her as his own and they could try having another child of their own if that was what he wanted.

However, Belle felt confident that Rumple was the father.

Lily-Rose had brown eyes—a trait that didn't run in Belle's family. As for Gaston's, Belle couldn't remember meeting anyone in his family with brown eyes. But he did mention something about his mother and while Belle wasn't an expert on genetics, she seemed positive that Lily-Rose's eyes had to have been inherited by her biological father. And that left Rumplestiltskin. He had been human once and it was possible that his eyes were that lovely shade until he assumed the power of the Dark One.

Except… he denied his claims on Lily-Rose and he left them alone.

He abandoned them.

Choking back a sob, Belle refolded the letter carefully and placed it in her false bottom of her drawer. At least it was a secret no one would find and until she made sense of Rumple's writing, she was going to keep it for further study.

Rising from her bench, she heard the approaching cries of her daughter as Hannah entered her chambers with the fussy infant.

"She's hungry, my lady," her faithful and loyal maid told her. Handing Lily-Rose to her mother's arms, Hannah commented, "What a set of lungs this one has! She'll be a strong one mark my words."

Cradling Lily-Rose to her bosom, Belle sat at her chair and loosened the strays of her dress so she could nurse her. Tenderly stroking her cheek as she fed, Belle smiled softly at how her world was now changing with this precious life. Although the truth of her paternity was in question, there was no doubt that Belle would do anything to protect her from harm. Magic or not she loved her with her whole heart.

If only the picture could be complete with the man she loved at her side.

xXx

Two days gone by and she heard nothing else from Rumple.

She convinced herself that the letter was only written as a ruse because he sensed danger. There was no time for him to explain it to her and he no doubt wanted to take care of it before she and their daughter could join him. The infuriating imp had to take matters into his own hands, instead of giving her the benefit of the doubt to do the right thing. Of course, if he had told her what was going on then she would have gone with him regardless. So the letter was his attempt to stop her and it did work. He had her there.

So thoroughly convinced she was that the letter was a falsehood and he was biding his time to return to her. She just had to be patient and when it was safe… he will send for them. He wouldn't abandon them altogether.

Not when he loved her.

By the third day, Belle was growing anxious but she kept her faith. Rumple hadn't given her any reason to doubt his word and his prolonged silence was in their best interest until the danger was averted. She just had to have faith in her lover.

By the fourth, Belle was pacing in the library and her chambers, constantly looking out the window for some kind of sign.

By the fifth, Belle had grown terribly worried and unfortunately Lily-Rose picked up on her anxiety. To avoid suspicion, she tried to keep the infant from fussing by distracting her with stories from her childhood.

It wasn't until the end of the seventh day that Belle's faith began to waver. All sorts of terrible misfortunes that could have befallen him plagued her. What if someone found his dagger and he was now in the control of someone else? Or worse… what if someone decided to defeat the Dark One? Rumple had assured her that nothing could kill him, but even such bravado could lead to one's downfall if they were not too careful.

However, Belle believed she would have known if her lover met a finite demise if that was the case. Yet the possibility that he did leave her and Lily-Rose well alone was not a reality she was willing to admit… at least not yet.

Nevertheless, her excuses for him were diminishing the hope she kept closely to her heart.

It couldn't be true.

She refused to accept it as truth.

They had too much history shared together. When she reflected upon their initial meeting, to their first discourse, and her visits to his cell… the friendship that developed between them was real. And over time that friendship grew into love and everything else that happened after… that couldn't have been in her head all that time. She wasn't seeing something she wanted to see—that this powerful enchanter could love an opinionated and well-educated princess such as her. That he could give her the life she always wanted, a life where love was possible for her.

No…

She couldn't have imagined those fleeting looks, the quick brushes of his hand on her person, the clandestine meetings where they shared their passion for the other. She couldn't help but close her eyes at those secret rendezvous within the castle, on the grounds, in the forest, on their travels together… The way he had held her close like she was a delicate flower—too fragile to feel the slightest of pressure—as he made love to her, slowly and tenderly. Then when his passion was ignited… how his ardor took control and dominated her in such a fashion that left her breathless and whirling. And how could she forget the night before her wedding to Gaston? She had crept to his cell and begged him to allow that evening to be their wedding night. There was no denying the pain in the depths of his eyes that she would be married and would share the bed of another when it was he that her soul and body craved.

No…

The wedding ceremony flashed in front of her eyes. How she caught him spying on she and Gaston as they spoke their vows… how she recited them while gazing at him, pledging everything to him and how he had mouthed the groom's vows right back.

How she told him the truth of her mother's village and how she introduced him to her mother at her grave.

There was no way he could have faked such emotion in all these moments of time. Unless… he really was as great as an actor as they say he was. Perhaps it all had been an illusion, a well performed trick, which convinced the gullible princess to believe it was love all along. Say the right, pretty words and a few caresses here and there as well as exposing said princess to the taste of physical intimacies and she would believe that everything was true. She would believe that he loved her, so thoroughly and irrefutable, that when the time came she would return his dagger to him without a thought or doubt to his intentions other than he was doing it for their survival.

And that was what made Belle incredibly ill. To think that it all had been a fallacy and a lie and that she played right into his palm without knowing he had been pulling the strings all along.

She knew he had the gift of sight… did he know all along that she would retrieve his dagger and hand it to him freely when the time came? Did he know she would give birth to a child and planned it thus so that she would be confused on who the father might be?

Did he?

Unfortunately, the only one could speak of such matters was gone and Belle had no way of knowing if that was his motive from the beginning.

But it all made sense.

He knew she was unhappy with the arrangement with Gaston. He knew. And he purposely thrown himself into her path and manipulated her to fall in love with him so she could liberate him at his most convenience when he needed his Curse to be cast.

It all made perfect sense to her. The letter's contents made sense in his disregard to her feelings and revealed the truth of his plot towards her. He knew Lily-Rose was Gaston's and to prevent his plan from failing… he persuaded her to believe it was his.

Despite what her mind was telling her, Belle couldn't negotiate the Dark One's diabolical plan from the loving and concerned father that he was when he told her about Baelfire. Now after giving birth to her daughter, she knew she would do anything for her child, just as Rumple told her about his son, but she couldn't see him taking advantage of her or any woman. She knew he was a good man, she saw instances of it, and if what he wrote was true… he could have easily avenged his enslavement by killing Gaston.

Instead he left them in peace.

It didn't make sense if all she was a "good fuck" as he claimed.

And it was that little detail that prevented her from completely succumbing to her despair.

xxXXxx

Present

At last they were airborne.

Rumple found himself slowly relaxing his grip on Belle's hand. He could sense her grin next to him and while the Dark One's demand to defend his manhood was at the tip of his tongue… the man caved in and admitted he was worried that something would happen to keep him from finding his son.

Didn't history have a tendency to ensure that?

But Belle was right, like she always was. He wasn't alone on this journey or quest as Henry would say.

He had to remember that.

The tenseness in his back and shoulders began to unwind as he sank into the cushion of his seat. Turning to watch his daughter and young Henry, he couldn't help the fond smile flickering on his lips as the two children were caught up in their fairy tales to notice anything else.

It was a sparing glimpse that suddenly had his brow knitted in a frown.

No… it couldn't be. My mind's playing tricks on me or this altitude is doing something, but there's no way…

He mentally shook his head, forcing himself to forget such thoughts about Bae. Lily-Rose he could understand, but Mr. Mills…

He briefly wondered if he should tell Belle his odd musing, then decided against it. It was the air and this flight that was messing with him. The sooner they landed in New York the better he would feel on solid ground.

Until then… Rumple focused on what he would do and say to Bae when he finally reunited with his lost boy.

TBC…