LelouchYagami owns nothing.
It was the early afternoon; the weather was dreary and miserable, like it agreed with Light and the Task Force on how they felt at that moment. A few days ago, Light had to return his Death Note to Sidoh but that same day he had to witness the death of his father.
He may have wanted Mello dead at the moment but when his father slipped away with his Shinigami Eyes fading out at the same time, Light was devastated. He never knew that his actions would result in the death of a family member. This was one of the things he was trying to prevent when he set out on his goal to make a perfect world. Light knew he had to act so as not derive suspicion, but when his father died it affected him so much that even he couldn't tell whether he was acting or not. It felt so real to him. His father who he loved, who cared for him, who helped set him on his path was dead. He cried when his father died, it was the first time he had cried in a long time as something like that had never happened before in his life. His grandparents died before he was even born.
Light's only relief was that his father never found out he was Kira. Even then Light couldn't think of how he would feel if he did find out. Did the end really justify the means? If it did then why was it starting to lead Light into the path of ruin? Light was trying to be optimistic, it couldn't get any worse from here on out. Little did he know it would get worse.
Light didn't even want to think about the possibility of getting caught and how people would think of him then. He always thought that if he created this perfect world, none of that would matter as he wouldn't need to use the Death Note anymore and Kira's law would become legal.
The only thing Light didn't know was that he was blinded by the power of the Death Note. He had fallen under the influence and become the one thing he made his goal to destroy, a criminal. Light didn't know that the Death Note had caused his behavior change within a week of using it. He didn't know that the Death Note had amplified his negative qualities. Pride, a God Complex, he didn't even know they existed. He was drunk with power and he didn't even know it.
Everybody was down today but Light, with his hair covering his eyes, was the most distraught. His hair was usually neat, but the rain today had made it incredibly messy. Earlier that day they had arrived back in Japan after an incredibly long flight. Light told the Task Force that their return to Japan would have to be brief for now as he felt the Kira investigation had to be moved to LA.
They had arrived at the funeral home. It was full of flowers. Light then saw Sayu and Sachiko get out of their car, with Sachiko holding a depressed Sayu. They were both depressed but Sayu looked more depressed than his mother. The place was full of flowers but even the beauty of the place didn't change the mood of the day.
Sayu didn't talk. She still hadn't fully recovered from her traumatic kidnapping by Mello. Any words she had to speak about her father were recorded on paper for her mother to read. Light was at least happy to see his mother and sister again, but little did he know that this was the last time he would ever see them.
Light remembered the words Ryuk told him, his father was neither in Heaven, nor was he in Hell. Wherever his father's soul resides now, it wasn't an afterlife, but whatever it was Light didn't want to know.
It was at that moment that he and the other members of the Task Force left the car and entered the funeral home. Light was the last to leave the car, he saw each member leave one by one, Aizawa and then Matsuda, followed by Mogi and then Ide. They were now in the building and had taken their seats.
The funeral wasn't going to be that long as there were only a few people attending. Light knew that his grandmother and grandfather on either side would attend if they were alive, but that wasn't the case.
The funeral was empty coffin, for financial reasons the cremation of his Father was delayed for a few days. By the time Sachiko got the ashes of her husband back, they would already be back in LA.
This wasn't like L's funeral where it was private to keep the truth of L's death away from the public. This was a public funeral, everybody who could attend would attend but most of the people Soichiro had worked with had died during the ongoing Kira investigation. Light didn't know that some of the people he was killing were friends of his father, but he was so corrupted by the power of the Death Note that he didn't notice.
The only person who wasn't there was Misa who was still in LA. Light made an excuse why she couldn't come; on how she had a friend there she wanted to meet again. In truth the only reason she was still in LA was so she could continue to kill criminals to keep Light's secret safe. Misa was actually upset that she couldn't come. She liked Soichiro as much as Light did and knowing that he was an inspiration of his perfect world just amazed her. Just like Light, she didn't know she was doing bad things, murdering people without a second thought. To her it would have been an honor to go to Soichiro's funeral, but she couldn't because she had to kill people.
The main ceremony took about 30 minutes. The Priest talked about the value of life and the celebration of the life of Light's father. He talked about other things like an afterlife as well as heaven. Light knew that heaven didn't exist and neither did hell but he wished he didn't know. He wanted his father to be in a better place now. He wished his father was still alive, so he wouldn't have to thinks these thoughts right now.
Throughout even the worst times, Soichiro made Light feel comfortable. He was the person he went to during the worst of times. This was especially apparent when Light lost his memories, at that time Light really wanted to work with his father and bring justice to Kira. During that time L was warming up to him and he felt that he should see his father as many times as he could. Of course when Light got his memory back, his friendship with L flew out the window and he went back to his main goal. Even then he wanted to be with his father. Light simply had too many things to do to spend time with his father.
The main ceremony was over and it was time for Soichiro's life to be celebrated, one by one the Task Force went up, starting with Matsuda, who also saw Soichiro as a father figure.
Matsuda spoke about how Soichiro was as a whole. He actually started to smile as he spoke these words. He felt happy to talk about his personal experiences with the chief who he really liked being around. He started to speak.
"I first met the chief 13 years ago. I met him after the chief's son Light foiled an armed robbery. Light's words to the criminal were about fighting for justice and when I met Light he was a enthusiastic young boy, reckless but he had a strong sense of justice. I met the chief shortly after the events and I got to know him after we explained what had happened. After the paperwork was done I didn't see the chief again for another 5 years. Once I completed my training as a police officer after I finished High School I met him again for my training to be a police detective.
I worked casually with him until I completed my training. I really got to know him by the time the Kira case started. Of all the people working on the case, the chief seemed to be the one who was the most concerned about the well being of everybody. Once L sacrificed Lind L Taylor he questioned those actions for being immoral and even I agreed with him. The chief, though, was most enthusiastic when his son was mostly cleared from the suspicion that he was Kira and was able on work with him during the Yotsuba case. Even Light wanted to work with his father then and I was happy about all the bonding that was going on at the moment. Once L, died the bond was torn apart due to the amount of time Light had to work on solving this case now that he was in the position of being the new L.
Two weeks ago was the last time he could bond with his family after working on the case for so long. I was able to meet a more grown up Sayu during that moment and everything was going well. It all went downhill after Sayu was kidnapped and if she wasn't kidnapped, the chief would probably still be here. I miss Light's father, he taught me so many things about being a police officer and a detective and I would not have gone as far as I did without him."
After Matsuda was done the remaining members of the Task Force went up. Aizawa talked about his experiences working with the chief and the accomplishment he made. Mogi and Ide focused on how their interactions were with him. They talked about good times, times Light didn't want to think about because it was his entire fault. Light wanted to remember the times he spent with his father when he was 10.
Sachiko had the longest speech, talking about her entire life with him. She talked about how they first met almost 30 years ago when Soichiro saved her from being a murdered during a spree shooting in Kanto. She fell in love with him shortly after. She talked about her dating life with him as well as the many years they spent caring for a young Light. She talked about how life was before the Kira investigation and how she didn't get to see him as much during the investigation. The last year of her husband's life was the hardest to talk about and she started to break down crying at that point. Light could really feel her emotions but had to hold it back until it was his turn.
Sachiko then read what Sayu wrote about her father for the funeral. It wasn't as long as her speech but it was still pretty long. Tears started coming from Light's eyes on just how much his father had changed Sayu's life. He wanted his sister to recover and recover quickly, he couldn't wait for the day that she would speak again and he could hang out with her. His goal to make a new world had been preventing this and he wanted it to happen as soon as he could. He didn't know that this was the last time he would see Sayu in this life.
It was Light's turn and he had the shortest speech, he simply came up to the stand and said "he was my father" in a depressed tone, he tried to say more but he couldn't think of anything else to say and he really wanted to but he couldn't. He was also worried that if he spoke more, it would give clues that he was Kira. He wanted to talk about working with his father during the Yotsuba case but he simply wasn't feeling it. He was depressed and couldn't feel anything anymore. He didn't talk as much as he used to and he didn't know who to blame it on, him or Mello. Matsuda had to lead Light away and Light buried his head in Matsuda's arms because he was crying.
The ceremony was over and they decided to have a meal before they buried Soichiro. It was all of Soichiro's favorite foods, from Shrimp Sushi to BBQ Potato Chips. Everybody ate the meals. Light ate more than he usually did as he felt he should at least eat out of respect for his father. During the meals, Light actually saw his father but he knew it had to be a hallucination or a spirit, as he knew full well his father was dead. He didn't tell anybody about what he saw, even if they did believe him. He didn't tell them about the times he saw L so why should he tell the Task Force that he was seeing his father.
For L it was different. He was triumphant over an enemy that was in the way. He had a friendship with L when he lost his memory but that friendship was over as soon as he got them back. In fact there were times Light thought L would like the world he was creating when it was complete. Once criminals felt threatened enough, there would be no more crime and he wouldn't have to kill anybody anymore. It was in these moments, Light forgot that he had killed countless innocents to further his goal and he wouldn't realize the ramifications of his actions until the day he died. Until he realized just how much he ruined his life, he had no remorse for what he was doing. He couldn't feel remorse when death was required to succeed at his goal.
Light only thought of the times he enjoyed being around his father and that was the only thing he talked about with the Task Force that day.
They had arrived at the graveyard, the gravestone already being there for Soichiro. The coffin was being carried and it was put into the ground. Burying him took at least an hour and this was a time where tears from Light's eyes were most noticeable. They were all under umbrellas but Light's hair was at its most unkempt at least until the Yellow Box Incident. The Task Force put dirt in one at a time. Sayu and Sachiko were so sad that they left before he was finished being buried.
When they were done burying Soichiro, the Task Force left, but Light stayed there.
Aizawa just looked at Light "It's over, Light, are you coming?"
Light's voice was soft but it had a deeper tone because of how sad he was for the last few days. "Go without me, I'll walk back to the Hotel, just remember we have to be back in LA by this weekend."
"That is fine, Light" Aizawa said back "Just be back at the hotel by dinner time, Matsuda wanted to order out tonight"
"Okay" Light said "I'll see you then"
After the Task Force had left the graveyard Light just stood for a few moments and then he fell to his knees. He hugged the grave of his father and then cried like a madman.
This was a huge contrast from how he was at L's grave. For L it had been a triumphant victory but for his father it was a huge loss. How could he go on from this?
The crying lasted for about an hour. Light's business suit was soaked, his hair was messy and his eyes had swelled. Did it still matter? Did it still matter to make his perfect world? He made this world for everybody, especially for his family because they were the most important to him.
The rain turned into a thunderstorm, it was almost the exact same mood it was the day L died but instead of frightening, it was depressing.
The cries were loud, the loudest you could hear from a graveyard. They were cries of despair, of absolute loss and it was at this moment that Light was thinking of ending it right then and there. At least he could see his father again.
Light then raged in anger for what had happened to his father, someone he loved and cared about. He said the same word for at least a minute.
Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, Dammit,
It was at that moment that Light got up and then spoke softly "How can I consider myself a god, when I can't even save the people I love?"
Light continued to speak "Is there still a point in creating this world?" he started to question.
Light then started speaking the same 4 words over and over again to the point of insanity.
It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault. It is my fault.
It was then that the words started to change a little bit.
This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault. This is my entire fault.
After that Light just stopped, he then spoke again. "Is there still a point in creating this world"
Light started yelling. "Should I EVEN do THIS if it means I have to suffer?"
Light's mood was a mix between sadness and insanity.
Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place. Tell me he is in a better place.
Light then summed it up with a cry of despair "IS HE IN A BETTER PLACE?"
Light was thinking about the options. "Should I join him or continue on with my goal, If I join him, they will find out I'm Kira and then everything I worked for and the reputation I built will be destroyed. What about my family, what about my family, I can't imagine how they will feel if I am gone. I can't imagine how they would feel if they found out I was Kira. I can't go to heaven or hell, whatever world it is, it isn't an afterlife but whatever it is, is what is on the other side really worth it, I want to see my father again."
Light then saw L staring at him from the other side of the grave. He was hallucinating again, L wasn't here, if he was he wouldn't trust Light at all for what he had done. Were his acts unforgivable?
Light then yelled back at L. "I am not asking for your forgiveness, just give him back, give me my father back, he needs a second chance at life. He needs it."
Light continued to yell. "I need a second chance at life. I would have never started my goal to be god of the new world if it meant the death of a family member. That is a sacrifice I would never take."
Light continued to wonder. "Do I have to die to join him, I might as well have, it would make me happy again."
Light then turned to Ryuk. "Ryuk, you know the deal you made with me when I first met you, that when it was my time to die that you would write my name."
Ryuk smiled at those words, he had gotten bored with being with Light sometime ago and now that his entertainment value was done, it was time to return to the Shinigami Realm.
It was at that moment that Light stopped himself. If he stopped here, his perfect world would never be complete. He needed to make a better world, he thought about the people he knew, and they would want a better world as well. This was the first time he had been questioning his actions since his first murder and he was still thinking he could do good after all the lines he crossed.
He didn't want anybody to find out he was Kira, he wanted to create a better world for everybody. The only thing he ever wanted to do was to do good, ever since he stopped that armed robbery as a kid. He didn't know about all the lines he crossed, all the people he backstabbed, he didn't know he was corrupted by the power of the Death Note and he wouldn't find out until the day he died.
Light spoke again. "You can kill me once I complete my perfect world. At least I will get to see my father again when it is all over."
Light knew Ryuk probably wouldn't keep his new promise but he was optimistic that he would. If he had to die to make a better world than so be it, he would.
Ryuk then sighed "You know that you were cursed the moment you started using the notebook. I will give you good news. Your father died happy. If he did use the notebook he wouldn't have died happy. You probably haven't been yourself for about 5 years Light, if you want to go back to how you used to live just give up using the Death Note. I will give you good news, if you do, I won't have to write your name."
Light was oblivious to the corruption the Death Note had on him. "I don't know what you're talking about Ryuk, I'm fine. The Death Note did nothing to me."
Light continued to speak. "If I create my perfect world then there will no longer be anymore suffering." Light was beginning to be more optimistic, for the rest of the week his sorrow would decrease. He would now be thinking of his father to make him happy again.
"I will be the god of this new world and then and only then would my life be complete." Light said out loud.
Light had a new reason to go after Mello now. Not only did Mello take his Death Note but he was also responsible for his father's death.
Tears were still in Light's eyes as his expression became more determined. "The end will justify the means, it always will. I just have to hang on for a bit longer."
"So you are going to continue with your goal Light" Ryuk said.
"I guess" Light said back.
"And what about Mello?" Ryuk said back.
"He is going to pay with his life. At least now I have a new reason to kill him" Light said.
"You are so interesting. You care about your family but reject suicide for a new world. As long as you keep me entertained, you will live." Ryuk said back.
"Ryuk" Light said back "I will be entertaining until the day I die."
Light then started walking out of the graveyard. He couldn't quit, not yet actually. He needed to create this perfect world so everybody could be happy. He became more optimistic about the future, not knowing it was only going to get worse from here on out. He had to kill all the remaining threats so he could focus only on those who deserved it. Little did he know that Kira would consume him completely? He didn't know that Light Yagami was almost dead and Kira was about to take his place. But to him, Light, oblivious to his unforeseen future, it was time to create this perfect world. He could only think of making his father happy, not knowing that his father would have hated what he has done. Light didn't even know that he only had a few more months to live.
Light was still grieving for his father, but now he only thought of the future, not the past. Light always wanted to be the good guy but little did he know he wasn't and that he would regret his actions by the end. He thought he was a good guy, but in the end he was simply a crazy serial killer, nothing more, nothing less.