AN: Hi. Instead of working on something else, I make this. Yeah. *clapping*

So… this is what Hetalia would be like if there were Capitals. Please, ask any questions you'd like, and don't be afraid to submit some ideas.

Like seriously. Please submit any. My rivers usually dry out fast.

Also, I need a new title, like what the hell is that title even.

Warnings and Disclaimers: I don't own anything but my OCs.

Also, this may be offensive to some people, and I'm sorry for offending you, but I won't change it. The world is offensive. And so is this show. Yet, we still watch it, don't we?

"Alright, let's get this show on the road!" Washington yelled with enthusiasm.

Washington, D.C. - Capital of the United States of America

"So!" she began. She stared at the table with a concentrated look before saying, "What were we talking about again? I forgot."

"The effects of global warming?" London said with a sigh.

London - Capital of United Kingdom, England, Britain, whatever you prefer

"Oh, yeah!" Washington nodded, a smile plastered on her face. "Well, Brother America came up with the idea we create a hero to, like, stop the earth from heating up or whatever! I wasn't really paying attention, actually."

"I couldn't tell," London muttered darkly.

"Hey! Be nice!" Tokyo scolded her. "She's your family, after all!"

Tokyo Metropolis - Capital of Japan

"Be nice?" Bern said with a scowl. "What a wimpy thing to do! No doubt you've taken Mister Japan's advice! That man can't stand up for himself!"

Bern - Capital of Switzerland

"Hey! He so can!" Tokyo argued.

"No way, he's a total wimp, ya'know?" Bern countered. "I'm surprised he hasn't been taken over yet."

While the two continued their argument, Paris squealed. "Oh, those two are fighting again, yet their love for each other shall never cease! Eeeeh! They're like a dom/sub relationship!"

Paris - Capital of France

"Paris, shut up. You're not helping things," London glared at her.

"Oh, be quiet, Londres," Paris said, brushing her fingers through her long, curly blonde hair. "You can't make me stop talking about true love!"

"We're not in love with each other!" Tokyo and Bern yelled in unison.

"The more you deny, the more it is true!" Paris giggled.

London face-palmed. "You're like a little primary-school girl."

"Uh, can we stop arguing and get back on topic, if you would kindly do so," Beijing interrupted.

Beijing - Capital of the People's Republic of China

"Sure thing, Hong Kong!" Washington agreed.

"My name's not Hong Kong, I'm Beijing," she corrected.

"Oops! Sorry!"

"Be sure not to get it wrong next time, dumb blonde!" Moscow yelled at her.

Moscow - Capital of Russia

Moscow proceeded to cuddle Beijing. The Chinese girl sighed.

"Dumb blonde?" Washington yelled. "I'll have you know my IQ is, like, 89!"

"That's bad," Beijing informed her.

"No it's not! IQ means Idiot Quiz!"

The Chinese girl sighed again.

"Hey, Moscow," Madrid said, staying at a safe distance, "why don't you try to reason with everyone here? You'll scare them straight!"

Madrid - Capital of the Kingdom of Spain

"Nah! Too much work!" Moscow gave a high-pitched laugh. "Besides, I'm waiting for Latvia and Lithuania to have trouble that Big Brother Russia will have to fix and then I'll have to do a lot of paperwork. I hope you're happy, Riga and Vilnius!"

"I'm sorry!" Vilnius squeaked.

Riga was too busy hiding from Minsk to pay attention.

Vilnius - Capital of the Republic of Lithuania

Riga - Capital of the Republic of Latvia

Minsk - Capital of the Republic of Belarus

"Hey, you can stop scaring them, Moscow!" Tallinn yelled at her. The Russian girl stared at her, unblinking, and the other gave a terrified yelp before hiding under the table.

"I agree!" Warsaw declared. "If you don't leave Vilnius alone, I'll cut you!"

Tallinn - Capital of the Republic of Estonia

Warsaw - Capital of the Republic of Poland

Through the midst of all the arguing and terrified squeaks, Athens somehow managed to fall asleep on her chair, a small snot bubble getting bigger every time she snored.

Athens - Capital of the Hellenic Republic

And through the midst of the aforementioned problems, Berlin was getting a pounding headache. As if these Capitals could act mature for a second! Did their Countries not know just how to teach them manners? Were other cultures unable to have manners? Or were these people just idiotic?

Berlin - Capital of the Federal Republic of Germany

She was going with the last one.

Clenching her fists, Berlin stood up and shouted, "Everyone! Shut up! I can't even hear myself think!"

Capitals quickly sat back down in their respective chairs, some shivering, others mumbling darkly under their breath. While it was well known that the German siblings had short tempers, it was still pretty terrifying when they were the target of said rage.

"Alright," Berlin sighed. "Since we seem to not be able to act like mature adults, we will follow a simple set of rules. Everyone gets the chance to say something for eight minutes, and do not waste any time. No snide remarks or any side conversations. Who would like to go first?"

Venice raised her hand.

Venice - Capital of the Northern Republic of Italy

"Yes, Venice?" Berlin said.

Venice smiled. "As Fratello Italia would have said best… Pasta~!"