This is just a little oneshot I thought of while at the gym.
I was sitting on the bike doing my 20 minute uphill ride and I had my headphones in and the song 'Don't stop believing' come on. My best friend passed away last year- he was only 15 at the time (it was cancer) and that was his favourite song, so whenever I hear it I can't help but think of him. So, my nan (who is very religious) told me that when I pass away when I am older he is going to be waiting for me, and I thought, I hope Derek is waiting for Meredith when she dies. (morbid I know) but then, this idea came to mind and yeah, kinda pulled some heartstrings so, be warned now, it's a heartbreaker.
So, this is 20 years into the future. Mere is 57, Zola is 26, Bailey is 23 and Ellis is 21. Zola is finishing Med school, Bailey is still in Med School and Ellis is in the army. ^^ The information just given will make sense just a little background before kicking off.
On with the show!
I all but forward rolled out of the cab, grabbing any of the dollar notes from my pocket to throw at the driver, not bothering to close the door as I headed down the long pathway to the hospital doors. The flashbacks were overwhelming as I walked the pathway that cut through the parking lot, images of my childhood flashing before me.
I was raised in this hospital, my entire family resides in this hospital.
As the doors got closer, I pictured my first day here, the pictures being shown to me all the time by everyone. I had arrived on a bus with loads of other sick children, but I never went home on that bus. No, I went home with my amazing parents who adopted me, who found me in this hospital and swore to never let me leave unless in their it happened. The ride was bumpy but, I was theirs the second they dropped their eyes on me. I couldn't ask for better parents.
I spotted my favourite auntie standing at the doors waiting on me, not being able to help it as I dropped my suitcase handle and wrapped my arms around her. It was clear she was trying to hold it together, but the internal battle in her eyes was too much for me to bare. I pulled back and looked her in the eyes, a small smile growing on my face as I whispered,
"It's okay, everything is going to be okay" And she couldn't help the tear that rolled down the cheek. We both headed inside, her leaving my suitcase in the locker room to collect later as we headed in the elevator up to floor 4. The ICU floor. As the elevator doors opened, my entire family spare a few were all waiting. I could list them to you, but it goes on a while.
Jackson and April were there, their son sitting between them. He had just turned 20 that fall, he looked to much like his father.
Catherine and Richard were besides Jackson, hand in hand. Richard was one of the few who stood to greet me, he was after all, my only grandfather.
Bailey and Ben sat opposite the 5, Tucker next to Bailey. He was 32 now, the eldest of all the surgical teams kids. Bailey also stood to greet me.
Addison sent me a smile, a small smile from me being returned.
Callie and Arizona stood, but Sofia was in front of them, being the one to wrap me up in a hug. It was cliche since we grew up together but she was my best friend. My only dear best friend. It only made it so much better that our birthday was 6 days apart and we were the same age.
Owen was also in the group to greet me, his face a lot more aged than when I had last been home.
Alex left Jo in their seats while he stood as well, Jo having recently broken her leg so she was chair bound for the time being.
I spotted a familiar face I had not seen in a while. Izzie was standing not far from where Bailey was seated. She had only been found when I was 7, having left the hospital years before, but had been a part of everyones lives since that day.
The last person I set eyes on was Cristina. She was the next after Sofia who I wrapped up in a hug. She was my godmother of course.
"Are they not here yet?" I dared to ask after greeting everyone separately, having noticed my siblings had not arrived yet.
"Ellis is flying back from Iraq and Bailey should be here later today" Owen told me, a heavy sigh leaving my lips as I nodded. I asked for a moment as I walked to the room at the end of the hall, everyone watching as I left them. As I neared the door, I flashed back to the dreaded hospital where my father died, flashed back to walking down the hall hand in hand with my mother, glancing briefly into the room without my mother noticing. She thought I was so young and naive back then but, I remember it all. Remember the texture of the chairs we sat on, the smell of the hospitals antibacterial gel, the sickening look on her face when she came back for us and took us home. The memories were all jumbled but as I grew up and she eventually told me the story, I pieced them together, like some sick and twisted jigsaw. I took a deep breath and opened the door, the sight sending my stomach south.
"Oh mom" I whispered as I approached her bed. She was hooked up to machines that I knew all too well but didn't want to think about. The incubation tube made my mouth go dry, knowing how much she hated these types of things. The large red letters on her chart DNR showed her dislike for the life support system. She didn't want medical equipment being wasted on her if she wasn't going to make it, but, it wasn't down to her at this point, it was down to me, Ellis and Bailey, and Bailey was not interested in moms protests. He was all for life support, he wanted extreme measures. He was living in a different life to them all. The hours went by, my legs never even twitched as they stayed in the fixated position next to her bed, my hand never leaving hers.
"You beat me here" I heard his voice, turning to see him standing in the door way, entering slowly.
"Yeah well, I always like being first. You know that" He laughed slightly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, allowing her to rest my head on his shoulder.
"She looks like she went through hell" He muttered, my head nodding ever so slightly.
"How ironic that both our parents have gone due to car crashes" I shot sadly, him titling my chin up with his fingers.
"Her, don't say that. She is still here, she is fighting"
"She is brain dead, physically she is here, but, you know she isn't anymore. She is gone, stuck in limbo"
"I thought you weren't religious" I frowned, pulling out of his hold.
"This isn't funny Bailey. You know she is against this, so why fight for her to stay stuck like that? Why do it?"
"Because I don't want her to die! I don't want her to die on us! I don't remember dad as well as you do, he is a vague memory in the back of my mind, but she was there for me every single day. She almost died giving birth to me, she took a year leave when I was travelling so she could join me because she didn't want me to go alone! She is our mother Zola!" He shouted, a tear rolling down my cheek as I took his shaking hand, placing my other one on his cheek.
"No Bail, she is gone. You are in med-school, you know that once that brain line goes flat there is no coming back" I tried to push back the emotion in my voice but it was all too much for me.
"But there are cases, were they come back. Remember that case mom told us about, the man who was in a facility and he woke up! He woke up Zola"
"Bailey, listen to me. Mom believed in cases like that more than anyone we know, but she signed the DNR, she doesn't want this" He placed his head on my shoulder as he cried, my hand rubbing his back. Once he was calm enough, we went back outside and ushered everyone to go home, knowing nothing was going to be final until Ellis was there tomorrow.
The night went by slow, Bailey and me taking turns in staying up to watch her, the both of us caffeinated and barely breathing when Ellis arrived in the morning.
"What the hell happened to her?" She gasped as she walked in the door, Bailey going straight to her side, guiding her down to the chair besides me.
"The SUV crashed and flipped, landing halfway off the cliff on the mountain road. She was awake when they brought her in but she never made it past surgery, her brain was completely gone" I explained slowly, Ellis's face turning bright red as she tried to hold back the tears.
"So she is brain dead, all this, it's not even helping her" I shook my head, raising my eyebrows at Bailey. Now was not the time.
"We need to do it, don't we?" He asked eventually, sighing heavily.
"She wouldn't want this, she, she would want to move on" Ellis hiccuped out, my arm going around her, her head burying into my chest.
"I'll go and get the form from uncle Owen" Bailey all but mumbled, leaving the room.
"What are you going to do?" Cristina asked him, Bailey shaking his head slowly.
"She wouldn't want this" The situation dawned on us all as Bailey signed the form, everyone cramming into the room. Bailey, me and Ellis were on one side of her bed while Cristina, Alex and Izzie were on the other. Everyone else was scattered along her bed foot, tears in all their eyes.
"She would like this" Ellis told us all, Cristina nodding her head.
"You can just hear her voice now, I'm fine" Izzie laughed, everyone joining in.
"Do you think, I mean, do you think he is waiting for her?" I asked, everyone knowing who I was talking about.
"I do Zola, I think he is" April said, Ellis letting out a muffled sob as the breathing tube was disconnected, her heart flat lining.
"Take care of dad" Bailey whispered, Ellis squeezing his hand, resting her head on my shoulder.
"Look are our babies Derek, look at how they have grown" Meredith whispered, standing in the doorway, Derek taking her hand.
"You raised them well"
"No, we raised them well. We did good" A tear rolled down her cheek as she blew a kiss to everyone in the room, slowly backing out the doorway.
"I love you all" And then they were gone. I felt a draft as I looked to the door, a smile growing on my face as I looked back down at my mothers body, taking her still warm hand in mine.
"You go mom, we will be fine"
Woah, anyone crying? I cried!
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