The rise and fall of the baby's tiny chest were strangely comforting for him. Perhaps it was because her entrance into this world had been anything but joyful. It had been full of anxious moments. However, at the currents moments, she was resting peacefully in her father's arms and he couldn't believe how something so small had rendered such feelings in him for the first time in his life Colby Lopez was experiencing unconditional love.
Gently using his feet to propel the rocking chair he was seated in, Colby marveled at the little girl in his arms. It was hard to believe he had helped create something so small and perfect. When the baby's mother had sent the email to him seven months ago and told she was pregnant with his baby, Colby wasn't sure what he was going to do. He was still on Tour for WWE, She's given him time to think about it.
Sighing Colby watched as his daughter rubbed her face with her tiny fist. When Ashley had contacted him again, asking him what he was going to do about the baby, he'd asked what she wanted to do about the baby. He was shocked to learn that the prospect of raising a baby by herself terrified her, if he didn't step up she was going to abort the pregnancy. That had been the ultimatum. He couldn't be responsible for the death of his child. He told her he's taking care of her, the baby.
In retrospect, he should have known that this was never going to end well but he'd been too wrapped up in the sheer joy that he was going to be a dad to noticed that there was a problem.
And the problem had not really presented itself until the baby was born. Ashley's labor had been somewhat unexpected. Hell, they were 3 weeks overdue. Colby knew he shouldn't be surprised that his child wouldn't stick to the planned time. But a few hours after getting home, the phone had ringed and Colby made some lame excused to get out of helping with his family to get to the hospital to be by her side
Of course, his family probably thought he was ducking out to help with something. Colby was okay with them thinking that for now. And besides, his daughter was the best present anyone could have given him. He'd been calling her his pretty little miracle for the last two days now. It helped him swallow the anger he was feeling at her mother.
As soon as Ashley's forty-eight hours were up, she was gone. Colby wasn't sure where. He only had a note saying she didn't want to be a mother yet and that she wanted to focus on her career. He was left with a newborn daughter to raise by himself. Perhaps this was karma for all his days chasing women and it was true what they say, karma is a bitch.
Colby knew that neither of them was ready to be parents and they certainly were not ready to be parents together, but the last time he checked it took two to make a baby. What gave her the right to just up abandon that baby? Abandon him to raise her? If she didn't want to live with him and raise the baby with him, that was fine, they could have worked out a custody agreement, child support. But to up and leave, it made him sick to his stomach. It wasn't acceptable. And he may never learn to accept it. He'd always thought as a forgivable guy, but when it came to the abandonment of his daughter, it didn't seem like something to forgive.
Little eyes lazily opened to look at him and he smiled at the tiny baby.
"Yes, I'm still here," he told her. "I'm not going to leave you, baby. I promise."
Someone stepped into the nursery, another mother, and father, with a nurse. They gushed over their new baby boy, a nine-pound wonder, who would make the little girl in his arms look like a doll. Colby continued to rock her while newcomers were allowed to hold and feed their baby. He listened while the nurse instructed the new mother what to do when it came to feeding her baby from behind the curtains she had put up. He had gotten a similar lesson an hour ago, although maybe it wasn't so similar since he had bottle fed his daughter and not breastfed like the hidden mother now.
"Mr. Lopez, do you want me to put her back in the bassinet?" a kind voice asked.
Glancing up, he noticed another nurse standing in front of him. Her brown eyes pitied him and maybe after everything that had happened he did deserve some kind of pity. He shook his head.
"No, I'm...I'm fine."
"Just let me know if you need anything."
"Okay, thank you."
The nurse smiled at him and walked away. Colby watched as she went about the rest of her rounds, before turning back to his baby. Her eyes were settled on his face again like she was trying to place him. He smiled at her and held a finger out to her. "You are named after a very special person. She was my best friend. A good friend. Still, miss her every day."
Gently the baby's tiny fingers wrapped around his outstretched one. Colby just soaked in the sight of her sweet face. "We're gonna be okay, you and I. Not sure how I know that. Maybe I just feel it in my gut." He chuckled. "My gut. I haven't even told my coworkers or family that you exist. Wonder what they're gonna say. Actually, I think I know what they're gonna say. Nothing for your tiny ears to hear."
She made a little mewing noise. Colby continued to smile, pulling her small pink blanket tightly around her little body. "Don't worry though. They aren't gonna say all those nasty things to you. oh no, they'll see your pretty face and instantly fall in love. How could they not after all you're a Lopez, bet you've got the charm."
Her little blue-green blinked, not leaving his face. It was almost as if she really was hanging on to every word he said. Colby looked into those eyes and felt compelled to continued. "Joe is gonna want to hold you first. And she can kill me for not telling him about you, well, I guess I better let him. Jon will probably hold like you're poison. He's worse with kids than I am. Not worry about Claudio. He is a big sweetheart after all. Renee and Galina will probably give me talking to about condos and other junk but they're a big softie and Brandon who knows how he'll react since he hasn't been the same since Lexi died but I'm sure he'll make a great uncle to you."
Colby paused when he saw her eyes start to drop shut "I'm keeping you up. Sorry. I like to talk a lot." He felt her finger loosen and soon she was back to sleep. He ran his finger along her cheekbone, briefly glanced at his watch, and sighed. It was closed to two in the morning. If he was going to make it work by six. If he left now he might be able to get home and catch a couple of hours of sleep, and maybe come up with how he was to break the news to his boss, his coworkers and his family that he need personal time to care for his newborn daughter.
He is known for three months that he was going to be a father but every time he worked the courage to informed the people he considered his family, he froze. Mainly because he knew how disappointed they were going to be in him and he hated to disappoint. The only person who knew about the baby was Paul who promised to keep it secret till Colby was ready.
A little whimper came from the baby's lip and it caught the nurse's attention. She came over and took the little girl from him and told Colby she was going to put her down for the night. Colby looked nervous and the nurse paused for a moment. "See that band on your wrist, Mr. Lopez? Remember we've talked about this?"
He looked at the hospital band. "yeah."
"That has your name and the baby's names on it. Which means, legally you are the only one allow to take the baby out of the hospital. Kennedy will be fine, promise."
Yeah, but am I going to be fine? Colby thought anxiously as he watched the nurse walk away.
He watched as she laid the baby down in her bassinet and made sure that she was properly swaddled. When the baby was settled, the nurse moved on. Colby moved to the nursery and went to stand near his daughter's bassinet.
Peering down at his baby girl, now sound asleep, Colby smiled gently. If he was a disappointment to everyone, it didn't change anything. Kennedy still needed her father to take care of her. Slowly he pressed his fingers to his lips, then pressed them to the baby's soft cheek. "Love you, my pretty little miracle"