Author note~ hi we r ones from internt. Enjoy fic bye
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Spirk
"hello captain? R u available." Spocko knocks on tha door
"fuk off spocko, I'm trying to think about u naked." Kirk was pissed an drunk af.
"if you wanted to see me naked, you could just open the door." Kirk opens it. Spock is naked in the hall of the enterprise, with a phaser stuck up his ass.
"How did u do that?" Spocko forgot how to open a door, he began to cry, completely in control of his emotions. "It's k, shoot this phaser in my warp core pretty pls pls."
Spock shoved the phaser up kirks flaming asshole. He shot it "phasers set to stunning" kirk orgasmed. \
"But ur ugly." Said Kirk, Spcok was upset, once again he began to cry, still completely in control of his emotions. "I'm not, u lie."
" I do lie , spocko. I LIED THAT YOU WERE EVER BEAUTIFUL" Spock gasps. Spock smiles. Spock cries. Spock laughs. "Lol"
Kirk pulls out his comm, "Bones I'm triggered, sen me some xanex." He then said to like everyone, "set phasers to death." He wanted the suicide.
Spock set his phaser to death, and shoved it up kirk's asshole. "You asked for this"
"I did"
Kirk then realized he had gone beyond triggered, and that xanex wouldn't halp anymore. "Spocko, I need you to kill me rn." But then he realized again that that was a lot to ask, so he say, "XD."
Spock ripped the phaser out of kirks warm butthole, "ik": "but I need to shoot something," He takes tha phsser and shoots his dick. Spock keels over "this is amaze"
Wow, he a masochist. No wonder. Kirk was turned on and suicidal. So he call his homie ISIS and askes to join. "Sure, why nt." Say ISIS, now that Kirk is ded officially he can fuk spocks sweet ass.
Spock screams. "Yas" "Queen" He begins to sing opera but realizes he's a bad singer. He poked kirks dick
Kirk Is blinded by how bad the singing is. He remembers how sad his father's death made him. Then he wants death. First, he goes to the panty shop, and buys some 'red satan (*satin) panty' he put them on. Now Spocko will fck him fo' sure.
Spock calls "Hi, I heard u were getting sum panty" He screams. "YASSSSS QUEEENNNNNN"
Kirk dies. Spock Cries. Montgomery scotty speaks Scottish. Kirk comes back to life.
Spovk say, "oh yay. My bf is backo"
Then they realize, they pay not for the panty, nor the cottish speak. The panty man come in and say "hey! Whos panties r these?" Kirk raise his hand "I would do that," but would he?
Everyone is confused and sad. There is a mass suicide on the Emterprise. What will become of the Panty Man And his accomplices.
Spock screams. Again. He say "okay, kirko, do me on the bridge. Everyone else died."
"K"
Kirk RIPS Off the clothes on his person. And he has only but red panty. "I'll frick you good you hobgoblin."
Bones comes up, "I'm alive. Don't do the sex. You'll get preggers"
Spock sees Bones and remembers he doesn't like being called 'hobgoblin' he is upset. He cries. He screams into the void while doing to do with his boi. He is completely in control of his emtions.
Kirk does the hand sex thing spocko likes. Mccoy vomits. Sulu says 'o myyyyy"
The panty man is suluuuu. The whole timeee.
"kill me" kirk says
"gladly" says uhura
"frick u} kirk say
But alas, he was too late, The Pant MAN who was sulu had already fucked the space Vagina. Sadly, the entire universe was now pregnant with AIDS.
"Godamnit, : said Bones and also everyone.
Uhura dies. Spock cheers and cries. Kirk lauhghs and killshi,self. "I ded'
"u is" spovk say
"pls let me go" says the alien in the basement that some people use for BDSM but he's rlly just a slave.
They don't.
Sulu whips him. "oh my" he say as he projects gay
"KIRK" SPOCK YELL. "don't die on me. I love u lik e a brother"
Kirk cry "I thought I was ur fuck toy"
No, he was not,, he was a mere tutrtle.
#nohomo
#spork
#nohomoforlifee