'Do you fucking mind?'

Hikari throws him a dirty glare over her shoulder, and says 'What?'

'You're in my way.'

Takeru knows he's being a cunt. But, then again, he's high and he really doesn't care.

Hikari hates him, he's sure of it. He doesn't know why she still bothers. He's been pushing her away for ages, but still she persists. She stops picking up dishes from the coffee table, and slams them down with a harsh clatter that Takeru barely even registers.

'You know what? I do fucking mind.' She says, folding her arms.

Takeru sniggers, flinging the remote control onto the seat beside him. 'If you're going to have a bitch fit, can you at least move a step to the left -?'

'You're a little shit, you know that? And you stink.'

Hikari picks up the plates again, huffing as she exits to the kitchen.

Watching her leave, Takeru hollers after her, 'Love you too!'

Exasperated, she doesn't bother to reply.

Takeru does love her. He does. It may not seem like it, but he does. He doesn't like watching her leave. Secretly, he thinks she knows it. She knows that he's testing her – trying to push her away so he can watch her make the conscious decision to stick around. He loves that she stays. He knows she's the best he'll ever have. She's the only one he's ever needed.

He loves that she looks after him. Makes sure he eats, nags him to work… holds him when he's upset. When he can't get out of bed, she'll understand. She knows him better than anyone else.

Playing with the cuffs of his jacket, Takeru wonders why he doesn't listen to her more often. Why he doesn't treat her like she deserves. He knows he doesn't deserve her. He knows that she'd probably love to see that back of him. It doesn't explain why she's still here, but Takeru doesn't want to be unable to trust his own thoughts, so he continues to act on them anyway. He doesn't make sense to himself sometimes, and it's illogical to not care, but Takeru manages it anyway.

Hikari walks back in, a covered glass of water and a couple of his anticonvulsants in her hand. 'I'm putting these on the bedside table for tomorrow, before you forget and blame it on me. Take them or don't take them, see if I care.'

His voice oddly softer, he affirms, 'You care.'

Challengingly, she questions, 'Should I?'

He smiles. She can't help but remember all the other times he's smiled at her with a lost look behind his eyes that doesn't match the grin plastered across his face. And yet, it always catches her. She can't help it. He's insufferable, but Hikari also knows that he's sweet, and charming, and protective, and just damaged –

'You'd have gone already if you didn't. Don't think I'm not waiting for the day you leave me.'

She shakes her head, and doesn't justify his concerns with any response. There's only so many times she can reassure him before accepting that his fear of her deserting him was delusional, and that there's simply no way to explain it away.

Watching her go into his room, his smile fades into a grimly satisfied mien. He knew she'd leave. It doesn't matter that he sees her all the time, or that she spends more time with him than anyone else in existence. She'll leave.

Everyone leaves him.

Alright, so Hikari's stuck around longer than most. It doesn't mean she won't disappear one day and never come back. When she goes alone to see her family, he worries that she'll never come back to him. If he had a family like that, he wouldn't come back to a life like this either. He'd understand, and yet he'd never be able to forgive her. Luckily, she hasn't gone through with it. Not yet, anyway.

'Thanks for dinner, babe.'

From his own room, she replies, 'What d'you mean? You paid.'

She comes back into the living area, and makes an act of taking cash out of his faded-oxblood wallet and shoving it into her back-pocket.

'You're a minx, you know that?'

She shrugs disinterestedly and sits down beside him, allowing him to pull her a bit closer as she drops his wallet onto the table. He still smells lightly of weed, and she grimaces.

'Can you at least put that coat to wash or something? You reek. You're inside anyway, you don't need a coat on.'

He laughs, and slides closer to her. 'But it smells so... fresh, and earthy even.'

Takeru's a bit of a troll, but it was one of the things about him that Hikari found so engaging. He kept her on her toes. Whipping the camo-patterned mac off, he throws it in the general direction of the coat-hook and pulls Hikari over by her waist. She gasps, but allows it and settles in his grasp.

'How's 'bout now?'

She considers the air with a dramatic pause, before relaxing against him again.

'Better.'

He's content to just enjoy his high like this; watching some random movie with Hikari, cuddling his issues away. When he smoked, his manic stages were insane. Takeru thinks it's great, that a simple plant can provide so much relief. Hikari isn't so agreeable, but after many debates they've agreed to disagree. He'd forced her on the issue, hoping he'd be able to prove that she'd leave, and yet she had resisted and she had stayed.

She rests her head on his shoulder, like she knows he likes. He likes to know she's still there. It's like; as soon as she's out of sight he can't help but obsess over where she is. He doesn't understand why it bothers him so much. He knows that things are different now, but that doesn't automatically fix his head. It's illogical, but his compulsions are his. He might as well own them, since he can't control them. Hikari understands that, and complies anyway.

Takeru recognises the movie on the television; it's one he'd taken her to see in the cinema, on one of their early dates. Before he'd really changed, or been diagnosed. They'd shared an awkward kiss, and he'd walked her home. Her mother had invited him in briefly, but he'd politely declined before exchanging goodbyes.

Her family didn't like him anymore. He was sure of that too. He hadn't seen them in a while, but he was sure Hikari had told them enough. They were probably already wary of him; they knew more about what kind of a family he came from than he did himself. They'd been close enough with his parents to be disappointed by their split, Takeru was sure.

His parents left each other. His brother had left him. Hikari had basically left her own parents for the moment, and she was going to leave him eventually.

'What're you thinking?'

Despite him being such a cunt to her, she still cares. Takeru thinks she's faking, but he'll give her the benefit of the doubt – innocent until proven guilty, right?

'Just… I'm just trying to forget. Don't want my thoughts to, er, kill my buzz.'

'Right…'

She doesn't really know what to say to him sometimes. He's told her enough times that her mere presence is enough sometimes. Sometimes, he doesn't even need her attention – she just has to be there. He knows its inconvenient for her, sometimes, but he also knows that she'll never mind. Of course, that is until it bothers her so much that she leaves forever.

Cuddling him closer, she says quickly, 'You know I'm not going anywhere, right?'

He shrugs, jogging her lightly. He knows it, but he doesn't truly believe it. One of her hands reaches to brush his hair, to reassure him.

'Because I'm not going anywhere.'

He loves her for trying to reassure him so much. No one else puts that kind of effort with him.

'It's stupid,' says Hikari, rambling, 'that you think I put up with all of this, even when I'm planning on leaving. As if! I'm not that stupid. I stick around more for you than for me.'

He laughs, and eventually so does she. He really does love her. She's almost as crazy as he is.