"I can't understand why she even comes to school anymore."

"I know, right?"

"I mean, she's so ugly."

I ignored the taunts as I walked on. They were just a couple of Emma's toadies, anyway. My backpack rustled. Once I was out of earshot, I whispered,

"Forget it. They aren't worth it."

"But Taylor, you shouldn't let them talk to you like that!" came the muffled voice from her backpack.

"It's okay. Really. If Spaceman Spiff didn't talk when threatened by Space Squids, then Spaceman Spiff isn't about to cave to a few weak taunts."

"Then let me at 'em!"

I shook my head, my dark curls shaking along. "No. That'd be no different than if Spaceman Spiff used his zorcher on them. We're better than that."

The hallway was mostly clear at this point, as most students had headed off to lunch. I pushed open the door to the restroom and stepped inside, making sure nobody was inside. "Clear," I said.

I heard and felt the zipper on my backpack open, then a gasp of air. "Man, it's stifling in there."

I snorted. "You're the one who asked to come along. I offered to leave you at home."

"And miss my chance to see your school? No chance."

I walked to the sink to wash my hands, and peered in the mirror to see a furry tiger head sticking out of my backpack.

"Hey Hobbes."

"Hey Taylor." He looked around, craning his neck to peer at the dilapidated state of the bathroom.

"Nice digs."

"Yuck it up, furball." Before I got to say anything else, though, his ears perked up.

"Uh oh. Trouble!" With that, his head popped back into the my backpack and the zipper closed.

A few seconds later, Sophia Hess, Madison Clements, and Emma Barnes walked into the bathroom. They were smirking. It was too late for me to try and squeeze past them into the door. They must have followed me in here from the hall. That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

"Talking to yourself, Hebert?" Emma said.

"She'd have to," Madison chimed in. "She's got no friends."

Sophia remained silent. I, too, chose to remain silent. There was no way I could get out of this without revealing my alter ego, and I was loathed to do that. I suppose Stupendous Woman, Defender of Liberty and Advocate of Freedom, would have to grit her teeth and bear it for the moment. But they would get what was coming to them, no mistake. Even if I couldn't have an actual victory here, a moral victory would suffice for the time being.

"Cat got your tongue, Hebert?"

I felt a rustle in my backpack. "Down boy," I whispered.

The three of them stared at me. "She really is talking to herself." Emma said.

"No, I'm just saving you three from a vicious mauling by a tiger. Trust me, it's better this way."

"Come on," Sophia said. "No point in tormenting the insane. The way Hebert's brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing. Plus, her crazy might be contagious. We don't want to catch the crazy."

The peals of laughter echoed in the bathroom as the door closed on their way out. Hobbes climbed out of my backpack, full sized and claws extended. I had to pull on his tail to prevent him from going out into the hallway and ripping the three girls to shreds.

"Really, Hobbes. Let it go. It's the principle of the thing."

"I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway," said he.

"You'll only make a bad day worse if you spend it wishing for the impossible," I said.

"Fine. But you and I are going out tonight, and we are going to have some fun."

I grinned weakly at that. There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is. Hobbes' ideas of fun usually ended in disaster. But, I was also itching to do something. Since Hobbes woke up, I couldn't stand the idea of returning to my normal, boring existence.

The ride home from school was spent in quiet contemplation, with us both looking out the window. A few people glanced over at us, and I could tell by the way Hobbes' ears were twitching that they were talking about us. I guess that's par for the course when you've got a massive tiger sitting by the window seat of the bus. He didn't tell me what they said. It probably wouldn't have helped my mood, anyway. I didn't feel much like talking.

Dinner that night was a quiet affair. Dad made tortellini. I hate tortellini, which is funny, as I used to like it. Very little was said beyond pass the salt, please, and thank you. My dad frowned at me, and frowned at Hobbes, who sat in his place but didn't eat anything. I think he was saving his appetite for our excursion tonight.

I washed up the dishes when dinner was over, then retreated to my room. Hobbes said goodnight as well, but my dad didn't acknowledge him, which I thought exceedingly rude. Once upstairs, I pulled the school books out of my backpack and started repacking.

"You'll want the transmogrifier," Hobbes said.

"No duh."

"Just checking. I mean, this isn't exactly my first rodeo, but I want to make sure you're prepared," Hobbes said.

"What do you mean, this isn't your first rodeo?" I asked.

"I used to do this with your mom, back when she ran with Lustrum," Hobbes said. "Now those were fun times. At least, until Lustrum went off the deep end and your mom decided to pack it in."

"So why was Dad giving you such weird looks at dinner?" I asked.

Hobbes shrugged. "Not sure. He was never really comfortable around me. Plus, I think he still feels embarrassed around me given that I kept walking in on him and your mom having sex early on in their relationship."

"Eww, eww, ewww. I did not need to know that." I furiously packed my bag, trying get the image of my parents out of my head.

"Get over it, Taylor. Your parents had sex. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

"I know that intellectually, but I don't need to visualize it, thank you very much." I held up the Invisible Cretinizer. "You think I need this?"

"Can't hurt to bring it," Hobbes shrugged.

"Cerebral Enhancer?"

Hobbes scratched his chin. "You can probably leave that. Best not to risk it falling into the wrong hands."

"Right." I looked at my bag. It was fairly full, but most of the stuff in it could be easily reached. "I'm ready."

Hobbes tsked. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

I stared at him blankly until it clicked. "Oh, right!" I pulled out an old bedsheet that I had cut eyeholes in earlier. I whipped it around my head and tied the clasp, ready to go.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Stupendous." Hobbes said. "Now you are ready."

I opened my window to fly off, but before I could launch myself into the air, my door opened and Dad-man stood there.

"And just where do you think you are going, young lady?"

I turned to Hobbes, who was imitating a stuffed animal on the bed. "Traitor." I said.

"... since Hobbes helped me out, I figured I owed to him. Besides, we were just going out to have fun," I said, taking a sip of tea. It had long since gone cold, but it gave me something to do besides talk.

"First your mother, now you…" Dad just scrubbed his face with his hands. Silence stretched between us for some time as he rubbed his eyes with his palms. "Taylor…"

"Stupendous Woman, please. I'm in costume. Just because you are my arch nemesis and can no-sell my powers doesn't mean you shouldn't respect the rules."

Dad raised a finger to reply, mouth open, though nothing was said. Finally, he let his finger fall and closed his mouth. "You know what? I don't want to know." He stood up, pulled a twenty from his wallet, placed it on the table. "Go do…" he waved his hands wildly "whatever you were going to do. Take your pepper spray. Call me if you get in trouble or arrested. Other than that, just… don't tell me anything that might incriminate me."

He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a six pack of beer. He opened one and chugged it, and chased that quickly with a second, all in less than a minute. I have to admit, I was impressed.

He gave me the gimlet eye as he cracked open a third. "You're still here?"

I shot up from the table and back to my room. Hobbes was filing his nails. "How'd it go?"

"As if you didn't know." I said.

The big tiger grinned. "Glad to see I still have that effect on him."

"What did you do?"

Hobbes just chuckled. "Nothing he didn't deserve."

I pulled my eyelid down and stuck my tongue out at her at the same time. "We doing this, or what?"

Hobbes climbed on my back. "Earth's excessive gravity is no match for Stupendous Woman's stupendous strength!" I declared, and with that, launched myself out the window. I was a crimson bolt blasting across the night sky, striking fear into the heart of evil doers.