Scrambled
Scrambled
By: Lauryn Marino
You asked for it, so here it is! The third, but not necessarily the last, kitchen fic!! This one is shorter than the others due to lack of time, but hopefully it's just as entertaining. This doesn't really refer back to either of my other two kitchen fics, so you're safe to read this one if you haven't read the other two. Enjoy!
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Bulma elbowed Vegeta and yawned as she turned over to face him. She frowned when she didn't get a response from the sleeping prince and poked him in the ribs. "Vegeta." Vegeta buried his face in the pillow in annoyance, hoping that Bulma would just go away if he ignored her. "I'm not going to go away until you get up!" she cried, almost as if she had read his mind. The Saiyajin growled under his breath and turned over. "What is it, woman?!" Bulma's expression softened as she smiled, almost shyly. "The cooks have the day off today, you know..." Vegeta snorted. "Good for them. Is that it?" Again, Bulma smiled. "And I'm tired." The Saiyajin glanced over at the woman and raised an eyebrow. "What are you getting at?" Bulma chuckled. "Can...can you make breakfast for me today?" "WHAT?!!" Vegeta cried, falling out of bed in surprise. Bulma blinked and peered over the edge of the bed at her fallen companion. "Please? Surely a strong Saiyajin such as yourself can handle such a task."
Vegeta quickly sat up on the floor, balling his hands into fists. "Woman! I'm not your chef! Go make your own breakfast!" Bulma's smile faded and was replaced with a frown. "I told you I'm tired! I think I deserve a break for once! I'm taking the day off, so that means YOU make breakfast! If you don't, I'll cut off the power to the gravity room!" Vegeta gasped. "That's blackmail!" "I learned it from you!" the woman replied, smiling triumphantly. The Saiyajin mumbled under his breath as he got up and started getting dressed. "Fine! But I'll warn you now. I know NOTHING about cooking." Bulma layed back in bed again and pulled up the covers. "Oh come on. You just follow the directions on the packages. If you're afraid to do this yourself, then go get Goku. I'm sure he'll be able to do it." Vegeta frowned. "I'm not afraid! And I don't need that baka's help!" Bulma shrugged from under the covers. "Fine, whatever. Just try not to burn my house down, ok?"
The prince muttered about Bulma as he left the room and started down the hall. He stopped a couple doors down, wondering if he should get Goku to help him with this. He certainly didn't want to do this by himself. He had to have someone to blame if the house burnt down after all. Goku and ChiChi had been staying at Capsule Corp for the past couple days because the baka and his son, Gohan, had been sparring a little too close to the house and a stray ki blast put a pretty large hole in the side of the small home. Vegeta hadn't liked the idea of the Son's staying in the same house as him while their house was being repaired, but he had to admit that it was pretty convenient to have a worthy sparring partner so close by.
Vegeta shrugged and pushed the door open, slowly approaching the bed where the couple was sleeping. He was as quiet as possible as he poked Goku in an attempt to wake him up. He certainly didn't want to wake his screaming banshee of a wife. In all honesty, that woman even intimidated him when she got herself all worked up. The prince poked the other Saiyajin again in annoyance. "Kakarotto, wake up!" Goku frowned as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at Vegeta. "Aw, come on, Vegeta... It's too early to spar." "That's not what I'm here for. I need your help. Get up!" Goku closed his eyes again, his body demanding more sleep. "With what?" Vegeta glanced at ChiChi to make sure she was still asleep. "I need help making breakfast." Goku was silent for a moment, his eyes still closed. The prince frowned. "Kakarotto?! You didn't fall asleep again, did you?" The other Saiyajin chuckled a little. "Make breakfast? Us? That's a good one..." Vegeta folded his arms, tapping his foot as
his patience ran thin. "I'm serious!" Goku's eyes suddenly shot open as he sat up quickly. "What?!" Vegeta's eyes widened as ChiChi stirred. Fearing that she was waking up, the prince quickly dove forward and slapped his hand over Goku's mouth. "Shh!! You'll wake the evil one up!" The confused Saiyajin glanced over at his wife, who was now facing them, a frown on her face. "What's going on?!" she cried, surveying the scene. Vegeta frowned as well. "What makes you think something is going on, woman?" ChiChi folded her arms as she sat up. "Well let's see. You're in my bed with my half naked husband with your hand over his mouth. That seems kind of suspicious to me." Vegeta's face turned red as he pulled his hand away from Goku's mouth. "Like I said! Nothing's going on!" Goku, who's face was also a dark shade of red, jumped up and ran into the large closet to change out of the sleeping pants he had worn to bed and into his orange gi. He returned a few moments later, tying the
blue sash around his waist, his face still a tint of red. "All right, let's go." he said, quickly leaving the room. ChiChi looked over at Vegeta. "Well? Are you leaving or what?" The prince blinked, realizing that he was still on the bed. "Ahh!!" he cried, falling onto the floor with a thud. He stumbled back to his feet and ran from the room. ChiChi shook her head in pity. "I thought prince's were supposed to be graceful..."
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Vegeta and Goku entered the kitchen and looked around. "Why aren't your cooks doing this?" Goku asked. "They have the day off. Lazy humans." The two continued staring at the kitchen, wondering where to start. "Well...What are we supposed to make?" Goku asked, scratching his head in confusion. The prince turned to his fellow Saiyajin in surprise. "You mean you don't know how to cook anything?!" "No...Why would you think that?" "Only because you eat nonstop! I figured that you would have learned how to cook something by now!" Vegeta cried, throwing his hands in the air as his frustration grew. Goku placed his hands on his sides. "Well I don't. I was thinking the same about you though!" The two Saiyajins fell silent as their eyes returned to the kitchen. "This is ridiculous..." Vegeta muttered as he walked over to a cabinet. He looked over its contents before grabbing a can, reading it before a triumphant smile appeared on his face. "Here! I found something!" "What is it?" Goku
asked, glancing up from the machine he was fiddling around with. "Coffee! If human women don't drink this in the morning, then they look horrible all day long! Baggy eyes, messy hair, scratchy voice...it's terrifying!" Goku nodded. "Great! How do you make it?" Vegeta's smile faded as he looked at the can of coffee again. "I...uh...don't know." Goku glanced back down at the machine in front of him. "Well this thing says coffee on the side...You think it has anything to do with making the stuff?" The prince looked at the machine, then at the can he held, then back at the machine. "It makes sense to me..." Goku popped open a small compartment on the machine, studying it carefully. "I guess it just goes in here..." Vegeta eyed the compartment suspiciously. "Are you sure?" "No...not really..." The prince looked at the other Saiyajin then shrugged. "Good enough." He opened the can and poured in the already ground coffee, filling the compartment to the top. "Uh...isn't that a
little much?" Goku asked, noticing that Vegeta was having trouble closing the slot. "When it comes to women and their coffee, you can never have too much, Kakarotto!" Goku backed away as the other Saiyajin turned on the machine, causing it to vibrate in a violent fashion. "Is it supposed to do that?" Vegeta stared at it for a moment before shrugging and looking through more cabinets. "Who cares."
Goku walked over to the fridge and pulled out a couple cartons of eggs. "ChiChi always makes scrambled eggs in the morning. It seems simple enough..." Vegeta glanced back at the other Saiyajin as he rummaged through the pantry. "Good, get started then." Goku nodded and started opening cabinets until he finally found a frying pan, the one thing he was sure he saw ChiChi using. After placing it on the stove, he began messing with the knobs until a blue flame finally shot out of the right burner. Vegeta walked over to observe the process. His eyes widened when he saw the flame. "Good god, Kakarotto!! It's been five minutes and you've already set something on fire!!" Before Goku could respond, the prince had run to the sink, filled up a cup of water, and then proceeded to pour the water onto the stove top. "Wait, Vegeta!" Vegeta paused as sparks flew from the burner, followed by smoke. He jumped back cautiously. "Look what you did, Kakarotto!" "Me?!" Goku cried. "That blue flame
was supposed to be there! You're the one who threw water on it!" Vegeta blinked and looked at the sparking burner again. "Oh. No matter. Use one of the other three." Goku turned on another burner and placed the frying pan on it again. "You better not blame this one me..." Vegeta shrugged. "We'll see what kind of mood I'm in when this is through."
Goku decided to ignore the comment and pulled out a couple eggs, pausing as he looked back at the frying pan. "Uh...now are these supposed to be done inside the shell, or outside? Man...I wish I paid more attention when ChiChi did this..." After a few more minutes of consideration, the Saiyajin placed a couple eggs in the pan, still in their shells. When nothing horrible happened after a few seconds, he smiled his accomplishment. "This isn't so hard!" He stared at the eggs for a moment before another thought crossed his mind. "I wonder how I'm supposed to know that they're done..." He shrugged and figured he'd know when the time came.
Meanwhile, Vegeta had a cookbook and decided he'd make some french toast. It looked good in the picture after all. After gathering the listed ingredients, he piled his supplies on the counter and set to work. After adding the flour, syrup, salt, sugar, and baking soda, he began to mix it all together, frowning as the batch began spilling over the edges of the large bowl he was using. "Kakarotto! Bring me some eggs for this!" "How many?" Goku asked. "How should I know? Just bring a whole carton!" A few seconds later, the Saiyajin appeared next to the prince with a dozen eggs. He looked at the messy dough, raising an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to be?" Vegeta frowned. "Well it's going to be french toast! Isn't it obvious?!" Goku grinned a little at the flour that was covering the other Saiyajin. "Oh yeah...I see it now...How much of each ingredient did you put in anyway?" The prince snorted as he threw in a few eggs, shells and all. "I don't need measurements. My Saiyajin
instincts will tell me when I've done enough!" Goku nodded slowly as Vegeta threw in another six eggs. "Ok! Now for the yeast!" Vegeta grabbed a small container and poured its entire content into the batch before putting the whole messy bowl of would be dough into the oven at the highest temperature the machine could go. Goku glanced at the book Vegeta had been reading from. "Uh...You know...it said to only put a pinch of that last stuff in there..." The prince brushed his hands together, causing a cloud of flour to billow into the air. "I don't care! What do they know, anyway?" Goku shrugged. "Fine. As long as you're sure you know what you're doing..."
A few minutes later, a loud popping noise sounded from inside the kitchen, followed by a sick gurgling noise. The Saiyajins jumped in surprise and spun around, seeking out the source of the noise. Goku gasped in horror and pointed to the coffee machine. "Vegeta! Look!" The prince's eyes widened as he watched a thick, sticky, brown substance flow down the side of the machine and onto the counter, bubbling as it did so. "I don't think that's supposed to happen!" Goku cried, watching as the machine began to shake so violently that it jumped off the counter and fell to the floor, sending the thick goopy substance flying all over the room. The Saiyajins covered their faces as they were covered in the coffee. "Ahh!! It burns!!" Vegeta cried, running back and forth with his hands in the air. Goku dove to the floor as the coffee burned at his skin. "Stop, drop, and roll!! Stop, drop, and roll!!!" Vegeta was quick to follow, desperate to get the thick liquid off him.
After five minutes of rolling on the floor, the coffee finally cooled off enough to the point where it didn't burn. Goku sat up and took a deep breath, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. "Man...that doesn't work very well..." Vegeta brushed his arms off. "Tell me about it! All it managed to do was make me dizzy!" Goku looked around at the coffee covered kitchen. "You think we can scrape enough off the walls to make two cups for Bulma and ChiChi?" Vegeta pondered about it for a moment. "If not, we'll just use some from the floor too. They'll never know." The two nodded and grabbed a cup, filling them with the thick brew of coffee. Goku set his full cup on the table. "Looks more like pudding..." Vegeta set his cup down as well. "Then that's what it'll be. Coffee flavored pudding." Goku scooped a little onto his finger and licked it off, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "Ewww! Tastes more like dirt!" Vegeta shrugged. "Well maybe if the maids cleaned the floors better,
it wouldn't."
Before another word could be said, another popping noise could be heard. The Saiyajin's reflexes caused them to dive to the floor for fear they'd be burned by more coffee. Vegeta glanced at the coffee pot, noticing that it wasn't moving. "Kakarotto. It isn't the coffee." Goku glanced at the dormant machine, then slowly rose to his feet. "Then what..." He paused and looked toward the stove. The eggs he'd put in the frying pan earlier were now vibrating, the shells cracking. "Maybe this just means that they're done..." Vegeta eyed the eggs suspiciously before moving behind Goku. "What are you doing?" Goku asked, glancing back at the prince. "Just a precaution. I've chosen you as my shield. Feel special." Goku frowned and turned back to the eggs. "Gee, I'm honored." He reached for the knob and quickly turned off the heat, breathing a sigh of relief. "There...Everything should be ok now." Suddenly, the eggs exploded, sending burnt scrambled eggs all over the place. Goku gasped
and ducked, leaving an unprepared Vegeta open to attack. "AHH!!" The prince cried out in terror as he was bombarded with egg and shell. He stood there for a moment in the aftermath, his eyes wide. Goku looked up at him from the floor. "Vegeta? Doesn't that hurt?" Vegeta blinked and looked down at him, the egg still smoking as it clung to his skin. "Yes...it's surprisingly painful actually. Even more so than the coffee..." "So...do you want me to throw cold water on you?" The Saiyajin nodded. "That would be nice..." With that, Vegeta ran around screaming in pain as Goku ran to the sink and filled a pot with water. He quickly ran back over to the prince and threw the water on him. Vegeta froze as a loud sizzling noise erupted. "Wow..." Goku said. "That must have been really hot egg! Listen to it sizzle from the cold water!" Vegeta bit his lip and glared over at his fellow Saiyajin. "You baka! That's not the egg sizzling! That's my skin!! That water was boiling hot!!" Goku
gasped and looked down at the pot he was holding. "Oh...I was wondering why the water was steaming..." Goku looked at Vegeta, who now had burns all over him. "You must be really angry right now." The prince nodded. "Why haven't you tried to kill me then?" Vegeta grit his teeth. "Because it hurts to move!" "Oh...I know what helps burns!" Vegeta watched as Goku ran to the fridge and pulled out a large tub of butter. He scooped some into his hand and rubbed it onto Vegeta's arms. "What are you doing?! You're not going to throw me into the oven after this, are you?!" the prince asked in confusion. Goku chuckled. "No, this is supposed to help keep your skin from falling off. But now that you mention it, you're probably the closest thing to edible we've made all morning!" (Get your minds out of the gutter, Yaoi freaks!) Vegeta frowned and grabbed the butter, smoothing it over his skin. He had to admit that it did make him feel better. "What about my french toast? That's bound to
be edible!"
At that exact moment, the over door flew open. Tons of half cooked dough began to pour out onto the floor in what seemed like never ending waves. The Saiyajins screamed in terror as the dough flowed toward them. "It's alive!!!" Goku cried. "I've created a monster!!" Vegeta shouted, jumping onto the kitchen table. Goku quickly followed suit as he sought the safety of the counter. They watched as more and more dough flowed onto the floor, covering the entire kitchen in a matter of minutes. "We've got to do something!" Vegeta shouted. "You made it! You stop it!" Goku shouted back, his eyes never leaving the dough. The prince glared at the other Saiyajin before standing up on the table, pointing down at the dough. "Stop this right now, evil, disgusting, dough thing!!" Vegeta almost looked surprised when the dough didn't respond. "Good job, Vegeta! You sure took care of that problem!" Goku said sarcastically, slowly clapping his hands. "Quiet!" Vegeta shouted, tossing one of the
cups of coffee at the other Saiyajin. Goku gasped and moved to the side to avoid it. Suddenly, he lost his balance and fell off the counter and into the foot deep dough that covered the floor. He laid there in shock, staring up at the ceiling. Vegeta gasped as he looked at the still form of Goku, who seemed to be in a daze. "Kakarotto?" After another moment, Goku slowly sat up, frowning at the gooey dough that was dripping off of him. "This is sick!" Vegeta pointed and laughed from the table. "You look so stupid, Kakarotto! You look like the Philsburry Dough Boy on steroids!" Goku glared over at the laughing prince, scooping up a ball of dough in his hand. "I'll show you what this Philsburry Dough Boy can do!!" Vegeta gasped as Goku chucked the ball of dough at him, hitting him right in the face. He toppled off the table and landed in the dough as well. He sat up quickly and wiped the batter out of his eyes, slowly turning around to glare at the other Saiyajin. "You'll pay
for that, you third class scum!" "Bring it on, little man!" Both the Saiyajins stood up and attempted to charge each other, but immediately fell back to the floor, unable to get any traction in the slippery batter.
Vegeta growled in frustration as he sat up again. "You know...it doesn't matter whether we beat each other senseless or not. Once Bulma sees this kitchen, she'll kill us both." Goku crossed his arms, splattering dough everywhere. "Both of us? You're the one who made that dough! This is your fault!" Vegeta grit his teeth. "But she doesn't know that! I'll blame this on your stupidity!" The other Saiyajin frowned. "That's not fair!" The two glared at each other in silence for a minute. "This can still be fixed, you know." Vegeta finally said, attempting to slide over to the phone. "What are you doing?" Goku asked. "You'll see..." Vegeta finally managed to grab the phone and dialed a number. Goku smiled evilly as he listened to the conversation that followed.
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Bulma and ChiChi chatted as they made their way to the kitchen. "So do you think they managed to make something edible?" Bulma asked. ChiChi burst out laughing. "I doubt it! I'll be surprised if they survived!" Suddenly, Goku bolted out of nowhere, blocking the women from entering the kitchen. "Goku! What are you doing? And why are you covered in dough?" ChiChi cried, frowning at the batter that covered the Saiyajin. "Uh...No reason. You can't go in the kitchen though! Besides, everything's ready in the dining room." Bulma narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Why can't I go in there?" Goku chuckled nervously as he shifted from foot to foot. "Oh, you can, but why would you want to? Everything you need is in the dining room." Before the women could object, the Saiyajin gently pushed them into the dining room.
The two women gasped as their eyes fell upon a table full of delicious looking food. "Oh my...I can't even make some of this stuff! How'd you and Vegeta manage to do it?" ChiChi cried. Vegeta suddenly stumbled into the room, attempting to wipe off most of the dough and butter. "Simple, woman. We just read the packages." Goku smirked. "More like the yellow pages..." He and Vegeta snickered at each other before turning back to the stunned women. Bulma sniffed at the air. "What's that good smell?" Goku looked over at the other Saiyajin. "Oh, that's probably Vegeta. We had to butter him up when he burned himself." Vegeta glared at Goku. "When I burned myself?!" The other Saiyajin chuckled and rubbed his head. Bulma and ChiChi shrugged and sat down. "Wow! This stuff is delicious! You two need to cook more often!" Bulma said between bites. Goku and Vegeta glanced back toward the destroyed kitchen. "Something tells me you won't be asking us again anytime soon...." Goku mumbled.
(Quick note: It seems my fics are becoming pretty popular here at fanfiction.net, so if you'd like to see more, please visit my site at [1]http://www.geocities.com/ssjhumor/ There are plenty of fics there among other things. Enjoy!)
References
1. http://www.geocities.com/ssjhumor/
Scrambled
By: Lauryn Marino
You asked for it, so here it is! The third, but not necessarily the last, kitchen fic!! This one is shorter than the others due to lack of time, but hopefully it's just as entertaining. This doesn't really refer back to either of my other two kitchen fics, so you're safe to read this one if you haven't read the other two. Enjoy!
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Bulma elbowed Vegeta and yawned as she turned over to face him. She frowned when she didn't get a response from the sleeping prince and poked him in the ribs. "Vegeta." Vegeta buried his face in the pillow in annoyance, hoping that Bulma would just go away if he ignored her. "I'm not going to go away until you get up!" she cried, almost as if she had read his mind. The Saiyajin growled under his breath and turned over. "What is it, woman?!" Bulma's expression softened as she smiled, almost shyly. "The cooks have the day off today, you know..." Vegeta snorted. "Good for them. Is that it?" Again, Bulma smiled. "And I'm tired." The Saiyajin glanced over at the woman and raised an eyebrow. "What are you getting at?" Bulma chuckled. "Can...can you make breakfast for me today?" "WHAT?!!" Vegeta cried, falling out of bed in surprise. Bulma blinked and peered over the edge of the bed at her fallen companion. "Please? Surely a strong Saiyajin such as yourself can handle such a task."
Vegeta quickly sat up on the floor, balling his hands into fists. "Woman! I'm not your chef! Go make your own breakfast!" Bulma's smile faded and was replaced with a frown. "I told you I'm tired! I think I deserve a break for once! I'm taking the day off, so that means YOU make breakfast! If you don't, I'll cut off the power to the gravity room!" Vegeta gasped. "That's blackmail!" "I learned it from you!" the woman replied, smiling triumphantly. The Saiyajin mumbled under his breath as he got up and started getting dressed. "Fine! But I'll warn you now. I know NOTHING about cooking." Bulma layed back in bed again and pulled up the covers. "Oh come on. You just follow the directions on the packages. If you're afraid to do this yourself, then go get Goku. I'm sure he'll be able to do it." Vegeta frowned. "I'm not afraid! And I don't need that baka's help!" Bulma shrugged from under the covers. "Fine, whatever. Just try not to burn my house down, ok?"
The prince muttered about Bulma as he left the room and started down the hall. He stopped a couple doors down, wondering if he should get Goku to help him with this. He certainly didn't want to do this by himself. He had to have someone to blame if the house burnt down after all. Goku and ChiChi had been staying at Capsule Corp for the past couple days because the baka and his son, Gohan, had been sparring a little too close to the house and a stray ki blast put a pretty large hole in the side of the small home. Vegeta hadn't liked the idea of the Son's staying in the same house as him while their house was being repaired, but he had to admit that it was pretty convenient to have a worthy sparring partner so close by.
Vegeta shrugged and pushed the door open, slowly approaching the bed where the couple was sleeping. He was as quiet as possible as he poked Goku in an attempt to wake him up. He certainly didn't want to wake his screaming banshee of a wife. In all honesty, that woman even intimidated him when she got herself all worked up. The prince poked the other Saiyajin again in annoyance. "Kakarotto, wake up!" Goku frowned as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at Vegeta. "Aw, come on, Vegeta... It's too early to spar." "That's not what I'm here for. I need your help. Get up!" Goku closed his eyes again, his body demanding more sleep. "With what?" Vegeta glanced at ChiChi to make sure she was still asleep. "I need help making breakfast." Goku was silent for a moment, his eyes still closed. The prince frowned. "Kakarotto?! You didn't fall asleep again, did you?" The other Saiyajin chuckled a little. "Make breakfast? Us? That's a good one..." Vegeta folded his arms, tapping his foot as
his patience ran thin. "I'm serious!" Goku's eyes suddenly shot open as he sat up quickly. "What?!" Vegeta's eyes widened as ChiChi stirred. Fearing that she was waking up, the prince quickly dove forward and slapped his hand over Goku's mouth. "Shh!! You'll wake the evil one up!" The confused Saiyajin glanced over at his wife, who was now facing them, a frown on her face. "What's going on?!" she cried, surveying the scene. Vegeta frowned as well. "What makes you think something is going on, woman?" ChiChi folded her arms as she sat up. "Well let's see. You're in my bed with my half naked husband with your hand over his mouth. That seems kind of suspicious to me." Vegeta's face turned red as he pulled his hand away from Goku's mouth. "Like I said! Nothing's going on!" Goku, who's face was also a dark shade of red, jumped up and ran into the large closet to change out of the sleeping pants he had worn to bed and into his orange gi. He returned a few moments later, tying the
blue sash around his waist, his face still a tint of red. "All right, let's go." he said, quickly leaving the room. ChiChi looked over at Vegeta. "Well? Are you leaving or what?" The prince blinked, realizing that he was still on the bed. "Ahh!!" he cried, falling onto the floor with a thud. He stumbled back to his feet and ran from the room. ChiChi shook her head in pity. "I thought prince's were supposed to be graceful..."
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Vegeta and Goku entered the kitchen and looked around. "Why aren't your cooks doing this?" Goku asked. "They have the day off. Lazy humans." The two continued staring at the kitchen, wondering where to start. "Well...What are we supposed to make?" Goku asked, scratching his head in confusion. The prince turned to his fellow Saiyajin in surprise. "You mean you don't know how to cook anything?!" "No...Why would you think that?" "Only because you eat nonstop! I figured that you would have learned how to cook something by now!" Vegeta cried, throwing his hands in the air as his frustration grew. Goku placed his hands on his sides. "Well I don't. I was thinking the same about you though!" The two Saiyajins fell silent as their eyes returned to the kitchen. "This is ridiculous..." Vegeta muttered as he walked over to a cabinet. He looked over its contents before grabbing a can, reading it before a triumphant smile appeared on his face. "Here! I found something!" "What is it?" Goku
asked, glancing up from the machine he was fiddling around with. "Coffee! If human women don't drink this in the morning, then they look horrible all day long! Baggy eyes, messy hair, scratchy voice...it's terrifying!" Goku nodded. "Great! How do you make it?" Vegeta's smile faded as he looked at the can of coffee again. "I...uh...don't know." Goku glanced back down at the machine in front of him. "Well this thing says coffee on the side...You think it has anything to do with making the stuff?" The prince looked at the machine, then at the can he held, then back at the machine. "It makes sense to me..." Goku popped open a small compartment on the machine, studying it carefully. "I guess it just goes in here..." Vegeta eyed the compartment suspiciously. "Are you sure?" "No...not really..." The prince looked at the other Saiyajin then shrugged. "Good enough." He opened the can and poured in the already ground coffee, filling the compartment to the top. "Uh...isn't that a
little much?" Goku asked, noticing that Vegeta was having trouble closing the slot. "When it comes to women and their coffee, you can never have too much, Kakarotto!" Goku backed away as the other Saiyajin turned on the machine, causing it to vibrate in a violent fashion. "Is it supposed to do that?" Vegeta stared at it for a moment before shrugging and looking through more cabinets. "Who cares."
Goku walked over to the fridge and pulled out a couple cartons of eggs. "ChiChi always makes scrambled eggs in the morning. It seems simple enough..." Vegeta glanced back at the other Saiyajin as he rummaged through the pantry. "Good, get started then." Goku nodded and started opening cabinets until he finally found a frying pan, the one thing he was sure he saw ChiChi using. After placing it on the stove, he began messing with the knobs until a blue flame finally shot out of the right burner. Vegeta walked over to observe the process. His eyes widened when he saw the flame. "Good god, Kakarotto!! It's been five minutes and you've already set something on fire!!" Before Goku could respond, the prince had run to the sink, filled up a cup of water, and then proceeded to pour the water onto the stove top. "Wait, Vegeta!" Vegeta paused as sparks flew from the burner, followed by smoke. He jumped back cautiously. "Look what you did, Kakarotto!" "Me?!" Goku cried. "That blue flame
was supposed to be there! You're the one who threw water on it!" Vegeta blinked and looked at the sparking burner again. "Oh. No matter. Use one of the other three." Goku turned on another burner and placed the frying pan on it again. "You better not blame this one me..." Vegeta shrugged. "We'll see what kind of mood I'm in when this is through."
Goku decided to ignore the comment and pulled out a couple eggs, pausing as he looked back at the frying pan. "Uh...now are these supposed to be done inside the shell, or outside? Man...I wish I paid more attention when ChiChi did this..." After a few more minutes of consideration, the Saiyajin placed a couple eggs in the pan, still in their shells. When nothing horrible happened after a few seconds, he smiled his accomplishment. "This isn't so hard!" He stared at the eggs for a moment before another thought crossed his mind. "I wonder how I'm supposed to know that they're done..." He shrugged and figured he'd know when the time came.
Meanwhile, Vegeta had a cookbook and decided he'd make some french toast. It looked good in the picture after all. After gathering the listed ingredients, he piled his supplies on the counter and set to work. After adding the flour, syrup, salt, sugar, and baking soda, he began to mix it all together, frowning as the batch began spilling over the edges of the large bowl he was using. "Kakarotto! Bring me some eggs for this!" "How many?" Goku asked. "How should I know? Just bring a whole carton!" A few seconds later, the Saiyajin appeared next to the prince with a dozen eggs. He looked at the messy dough, raising an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to be?" Vegeta frowned. "Well it's going to be french toast! Isn't it obvious?!" Goku grinned a little at the flour that was covering the other Saiyajin. "Oh yeah...I see it now...How much of each ingredient did you put in anyway?" The prince snorted as he threw in a few eggs, shells and all. "I don't need measurements. My Saiyajin
instincts will tell me when I've done enough!" Goku nodded slowly as Vegeta threw in another six eggs. "Ok! Now for the yeast!" Vegeta grabbed a small container and poured its entire content into the batch before putting the whole messy bowl of would be dough into the oven at the highest temperature the machine could go. Goku glanced at the book Vegeta had been reading from. "Uh...You know...it said to only put a pinch of that last stuff in there..." The prince brushed his hands together, causing a cloud of flour to billow into the air. "I don't care! What do they know, anyway?" Goku shrugged. "Fine. As long as you're sure you know what you're doing..."
A few minutes later, a loud popping noise sounded from inside the kitchen, followed by a sick gurgling noise. The Saiyajins jumped in surprise and spun around, seeking out the source of the noise. Goku gasped in horror and pointed to the coffee machine. "Vegeta! Look!" The prince's eyes widened as he watched a thick, sticky, brown substance flow down the side of the machine and onto the counter, bubbling as it did so. "I don't think that's supposed to happen!" Goku cried, watching as the machine began to shake so violently that it jumped off the counter and fell to the floor, sending the thick goopy substance flying all over the room. The Saiyajins covered their faces as they were covered in the coffee. "Ahh!! It burns!!" Vegeta cried, running back and forth with his hands in the air. Goku dove to the floor as the coffee burned at his skin. "Stop, drop, and roll!! Stop, drop, and roll!!!" Vegeta was quick to follow, desperate to get the thick liquid off him.
After five minutes of rolling on the floor, the coffee finally cooled off enough to the point where it didn't burn. Goku sat up and took a deep breath, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. "Man...that doesn't work very well..." Vegeta brushed his arms off. "Tell me about it! All it managed to do was make me dizzy!" Goku looked around at the coffee covered kitchen. "You think we can scrape enough off the walls to make two cups for Bulma and ChiChi?" Vegeta pondered about it for a moment. "If not, we'll just use some from the floor too. They'll never know." The two nodded and grabbed a cup, filling them with the thick brew of coffee. Goku set his full cup on the table. "Looks more like pudding..." Vegeta set his cup down as well. "Then that's what it'll be. Coffee flavored pudding." Goku scooped a little onto his finger and licked it off, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "Ewww! Tastes more like dirt!" Vegeta shrugged. "Well maybe if the maids cleaned the floors better,
it wouldn't."
Before another word could be said, another popping noise could be heard. The Saiyajin's reflexes caused them to dive to the floor for fear they'd be burned by more coffee. Vegeta glanced at the coffee pot, noticing that it wasn't moving. "Kakarotto. It isn't the coffee." Goku glanced at the dormant machine, then slowly rose to his feet. "Then what..." He paused and looked toward the stove. The eggs he'd put in the frying pan earlier were now vibrating, the shells cracking. "Maybe this just means that they're done..." Vegeta eyed the eggs suspiciously before moving behind Goku. "What are you doing?" Goku asked, glancing back at the prince. "Just a precaution. I've chosen you as my shield. Feel special." Goku frowned and turned back to the eggs. "Gee, I'm honored." He reached for the knob and quickly turned off the heat, breathing a sigh of relief. "There...Everything should be ok now." Suddenly, the eggs exploded, sending burnt scrambled eggs all over the place. Goku gasped
and ducked, leaving an unprepared Vegeta open to attack. "AHH!!" The prince cried out in terror as he was bombarded with egg and shell. He stood there for a moment in the aftermath, his eyes wide. Goku looked up at him from the floor. "Vegeta? Doesn't that hurt?" Vegeta blinked and looked down at him, the egg still smoking as it clung to his skin. "Yes...it's surprisingly painful actually. Even more so than the coffee..." "So...do you want me to throw cold water on you?" The Saiyajin nodded. "That would be nice..." With that, Vegeta ran around screaming in pain as Goku ran to the sink and filled a pot with water. He quickly ran back over to the prince and threw the water on him. Vegeta froze as a loud sizzling noise erupted. "Wow..." Goku said. "That must have been really hot egg! Listen to it sizzle from the cold water!" Vegeta bit his lip and glared over at his fellow Saiyajin. "You baka! That's not the egg sizzling! That's my skin!! That water was boiling hot!!" Goku
gasped and looked down at the pot he was holding. "Oh...I was wondering why the water was steaming..." Goku looked at Vegeta, who now had burns all over him. "You must be really angry right now." The prince nodded. "Why haven't you tried to kill me then?" Vegeta grit his teeth. "Because it hurts to move!" "Oh...I know what helps burns!" Vegeta watched as Goku ran to the fridge and pulled out a large tub of butter. He scooped some into his hand and rubbed it onto Vegeta's arms. "What are you doing?! You're not going to throw me into the oven after this, are you?!" the prince asked in confusion. Goku chuckled. "No, this is supposed to help keep your skin from falling off. But now that you mention it, you're probably the closest thing to edible we've made all morning!" (Get your minds out of the gutter, Yaoi freaks!) Vegeta frowned and grabbed the butter, smoothing it over his skin. He had to admit that it did make him feel better. "What about my french toast? That's bound to
be edible!"
At that exact moment, the over door flew open. Tons of half cooked dough began to pour out onto the floor in what seemed like never ending waves. The Saiyajins screamed in terror as the dough flowed toward them. "It's alive!!!" Goku cried. "I've created a monster!!" Vegeta shouted, jumping onto the kitchen table. Goku quickly followed suit as he sought the safety of the counter. They watched as more and more dough flowed onto the floor, covering the entire kitchen in a matter of minutes. "We've got to do something!" Vegeta shouted. "You made it! You stop it!" Goku shouted back, his eyes never leaving the dough. The prince glared at the other Saiyajin before standing up on the table, pointing down at the dough. "Stop this right now, evil, disgusting, dough thing!!" Vegeta almost looked surprised when the dough didn't respond. "Good job, Vegeta! You sure took care of that problem!" Goku said sarcastically, slowly clapping his hands. "Quiet!" Vegeta shouted, tossing one of the
cups of coffee at the other Saiyajin. Goku gasped and moved to the side to avoid it. Suddenly, he lost his balance and fell off the counter and into the foot deep dough that covered the floor. He laid there in shock, staring up at the ceiling. Vegeta gasped as he looked at the still form of Goku, who seemed to be in a daze. "Kakarotto?" After another moment, Goku slowly sat up, frowning at the gooey dough that was dripping off of him. "This is sick!" Vegeta pointed and laughed from the table. "You look so stupid, Kakarotto! You look like the Philsburry Dough Boy on steroids!" Goku glared over at the laughing prince, scooping up a ball of dough in his hand. "I'll show you what this Philsburry Dough Boy can do!!" Vegeta gasped as Goku chucked the ball of dough at him, hitting him right in the face. He toppled off the table and landed in the dough as well. He sat up quickly and wiped the batter out of his eyes, slowly turning around to glare at the other Saiyajin. "You'll pay
for that, you third class scum!" "Bring it on, little man!" Both the Saiyajins stood up and attempted to charge each other, but immediately fell back to the floor, unable to get any traction in the slippery batter.
Vegeta growled in frustration as he sat up again. "You know...it doesn't matter whether we beat each other senseless or not. Once Bulma sees this kitchen, she'll kill us both." Goku crossed his arms, splattering dough everywhere. "Both of us? You're the one who made that dough! This is your fault!" Vegeta grit his teeth. "But she doesn't know that! I'll blame this on your stupidity!" The other Saiyajin frowned. "That's not fair!" The two glared at each other in silence for a minute. "This can still be fixed, you know." Vegeta finally said, attempting to slide over to the phone. "What are you doing?" Goku asked. "You'll see..." Vegeta finally managed to grab the phone and dialed a number. Goku smiled evilly as he listened to the conversation that followed.
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Bulma and ChiChi chatted as they made their way to the kitchen. "So do you think they managed to make something edible?" Bulma asked. ChiChi burst out laughing. "I doubt it! I'll be surprised if they survived!" Suddenly, Goku bolted out of nowhere, blocking the women from entering the kitchen. "Goku! What are you doing? And why are you covered in dough?" ChiChi cried, frowning at the batter that covered the Saiyajin. "Uh...No reason. You can't go in the kitchen though! Besides, everything's ready in the dining room." Bulma narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Why can't I go in there?" Goku chuckled nervously as he shifted from foot to foot. "Oh, you can, but why would you want to? Everything you need is in the dining room." Before the women could object, the Saiyajin gently pushed them into the dining room.
The two women gasped as their eyes fell upon a table full of delicious looking food. "Oh my...I can't even make some of this stuff! How'd you and Vegeta manage to do it?" ChiChi cried. Vegeta suddenly stumbled into the room, attempting to wipe off most of the dough and butter. "Simple, woman. We just read the packages." Goku smirked. "More like the yellow pages..." He and Vegeta snickered at each other before turning back to the stunned women. Bulma sniffed at the air. "What's that good smell?" Goku looked over at the other Saiyajin. "Oh, that's probably Vegeta. We had to butter him up when he burned himself." Vegeta glared at Goku. "When I burned myself?!" The other Saiyajin chuckled and rubbed his head. Bulma and ChiChi shrugged and sat down. "Wow! This stuff is delicious! You two need to cook more often!" Bulma said between bites. Goku and Vegeta glanced back toward the destroyed kitchen. "Something tells me you won't be asking us again anytime soon...." Goku mumbled.
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References
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