(Trowa, Duo, Quatre, and Wufei were sitting around the breakfast table eating
their favorite food one Sunday morning. Suddenly, Wufei slams down his fist
against the table)

Wufei- "Duo!! Stop stepping on my feet!"

Duo- "It's not me!"

Quatre- "I thought that was Trowa's feet!"

(He looks under the table and misses a disturbed glance from Trowa)

Wufei- "Well, I don't care who it was! Just stop! Don't you think getting kicked
was a good enough hint?!"

Trowa- "That was me you were kicking..."

Wufei- "Whatever, just stop!!"

Quatre- "Well, Trowa did it to me first!"

Duo- "That was me..."

Quatre- "Oh..."

Wufei- "Enough!!! And pass me the WHEATIES!"

(Duo goes through five boxes of cereal and throws the appropriate one. Wufei
takes it and throws himself another bowl.)

Duo- "I can't believe you like that stuff!" (He pours more cereal into the
mixing bowl he's eating out of.)

Wufei- "Unlike some people I know, I do not need sugar to substain myself."

Quatre (innocently)- "You mean you're not always after his lucky charms?"
(Everyone stares at him.) "What?"

Wufei- "Just eat your Pebbles, fruity, and shut up!"

Trowa- "There's no need for rudeness at the table, Wufei."

Wufei- "And you and your basic four- it's all you eat, Basic Four, Basic Four!"
(Trowa blushes for some strange reason...) "This is why we have to buy five
different types of cereal every couple of days! No one eats the same thing!!"

Duo- "Well, we all have our special needs!"

Wufei- "I fail to see the reason for Hiiro's attatchment for Cocoa Puffs!"

Quatre- "Oh, Wufei, you know he's koo-koo for his Cocoa Puffs!"

Wufei (muttering)- "He's koo-koo about everything..."

Trowa- "Where is Hiiro, anyway?"

Duo- "He got a phone call upstairs. I hope he stays up there at least five more
minutes. His Cocoa Puffs aren't squishy enough, yet." (He pokes one.)

Quatre- "Why do you always pour him a bowl almost half an hour before he comes
home? They're always soggy!"

(Duo starts to snicker.)

Duo- "Because he likes them that way! Ha ha ha!!"

Quatre- "I'll bet he doesn't! Hiiro's going to yell at you again! He probably
likes crunchy cereal once in a while!"

Duo- "What do you know!"

(Just then, Hiiro comes tripping down the steps in his socks. He ignores Duo's
snickering as he sits down. He absent mindedly taps his spoon aainst the soggy
Puffs with a dreamy look on his face.)

Duo- "I poured your cereal for you, Hiiro!" *snicker*

(Hiiro doesn't answer.)

Trowa- "Uh, oh, what's wrong? Who was that on the phone?"

Hiiro (snapping our of his trance)- "Nobody!!"

(Duo rolls his eyes.)

Duo- "Uh huh, sure....I'll bet I know who it was!!"

(Hiiro glares at him.)

Hiiro- "It was a mission briefing, that's all!"

Duo- "Yeah, right! I'll bet it was Relena!"

(Duo flutters his eyebrows and gets hit in the head with a spoon.)

Duo- "Ow!!"

Quatre (squealing)- "It was!? What did she say, Hiiro??? What did she say?"

Hiiro (turning red)- "Nothing! It wasn't her!"

(Wufei looks at Hiiro.)

Wufei- "You're a terrible liar."

Trowa- "What did she want?"

Hiiro (irritated)- "Nothing!"

Duo- "Some of his sweet sugar lovin'!! OUCH! Where are you getting these
spoons??!!"

Quatre- "Are you going out?? Are you?? Can we come too?? Can we??"

(By now, Hiiro is really ticked.)

Hiiro- "NO! SHUT UP!!!"

(Hiiro runs up the stairs and slams his bedroom door.)

Duo- "Man! He's stuck on her bad!"

Quatre (comfortingly)- "I'm sorry, Duo."

Duo- "What do you mean? I don't care!!"

Quatre- "Oh, okay...I thought that-"

Wufei- "Fill your mouth with Pebbles and be quiet!!"

(Duo pushes his half full bowl of cereal away from him.)

Wufei (horrified)- "What are you doing!?"

Duo- "I'm stuffed. I can't eat anymore."

Wufei- "But there's still cereal in the bowl!"

Duo (shrugging)- "I'll pour it down the sink."

Wufei- "The hell you will!! Wastefulness is a sin, Maxwell! You're going to eat
all of that!"

Duo- "I told you, I'm stuffed!"

Wufei- "I'll show you what "stuffed is if you don't eat it NOW!!"

Trowa- "It's time to get ready for church, anyway."

(Everyone groaned. Part of a school asignment had been visiting different
religious gatherings. Needless to say, this less than thrilled some of the
group.)

Trowa- "Stop it you guys! Why don't you listen instead of sleeping? You might
leran something!"

(He ushers them all into their rooms to get ready. Quatre emerges wearing a
tuxedo. Wufei wears his traditional white garb. Trowa comes out in a coat and
tie and shakes his head at Duo's blue jeans. Hiiro comes out in a white button
up shirt, kaquis, and belt.)

Duo- "Oooh. We're dressing up pretty! Our hair is even combed! Any particular
reason, Hiiro?"

Hiiro- "I'm going somewhere afterwards."

Duo- "Ooooh! I see! And- OUCH!! DAMMIT!! Where are you getting those!!"

(They all tumble into the car and set out. Trowa is in charge of the map, while
Wufei insists upon driving.)

Trowa- "Hey, Wufei, take a left here."

(The car tires screech and lift off the ground on the right side.)

Trowa- "Oh...kay...um..." (He twists the map around.) "Wait, no! Quick, make a
U-ie!"

Hiiro- "What?"

Trowa- "I'm not talking to you."

Hiiro- "Well, you called my name."

Trowa- "No, I said U-ie!"

Hiiro- "I know! That's my name, don't wear it out."

Trowa- "Nevermind."

(They drive along in silence for a time. Wufei comes to a merge in two roads and
does not slow down at the YIELD sign. He simple drives through it causing a car
to flip and crash into another car, exploding. Everyone except Wufei looks back
to see people screaming and flames everywhere.)

Trowa- "Umm...Wufei? That was a YIELD sing back there."

Wufei (snapping)- "I yield for no one!"

(They pull into a little road off the highway. It leads through a few trees
directly to a small log cabin.)

Hiiro- "What the? What is this place?!"

Trowa (glancing at the map)- "It's the 'Lord's House of Prayer'."

Duo- "Looks like the 'Lord's House of Regression'. What's with the rustic look?"


(They circle around looking for a parking space. They finally find on and Wufei
pulls in.)

Quatre- "This is a handicapped spot."

Wufei- "We're in a church parking lot. What are they going to do?"

Trowa- "That's taking advantage."

Wufei- "You're point?"

(They walk in on a bear skin rug and are met with the smell of pine.)

Hiiro- "Aww. Quaint."

(Trowa gives him a warning look, and they sis down in a pew. There are people
all around, but they are quiet for the most part, waiting for the sermon to
start. Duo is already dozing off when a microphone screeches on. Everyone holds
their ears. A big burly man wearing a T-shirt and shorts steps up onto the
stage.)

Quatre (whispering)- "Trowa! That hairy man doesn't have any shoes on!'

(The burly man picks up a guitar and steps up to the microphone with his eyes
closed. Suddenly, they pop open, and he screams into the mic.)

Burly man- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!!!"

(Quatre shrieks and all the other pilots are too startled to say anything, but
the rest of the crowd stands and screams.)

Burly man- "THE LORD IS GOOD! HALLELLUJAH! CAN YOU FEEL HIM HERE THIS MORNIN'?!"


(Everyone starts screaming again, bouncing up and down.)

Duo- "Umm, we need to get out of here now!! These people are crazy!"

(The burly man along with some other instruments begin to play an old hymn, and
everyone starts yelling out the lyrics. The boys all cover their ears to try to
drown out the noise. Suddenly, bodies began hitting them as they leap over the
pews.)

Wufei- "These people are possessed!!"

(Pretty soon, they are the only ones that are not rolling around on the floor
crying and screaming. Then, the music stops. One woman stands up with an
ecstatic look on her face. She starts to yell out some sort of strange dialect.)


Duo- "What in teh world?"

(Quatre wrinkles up his eyebrows and listens.)

Quatre- "She's speaking some form of Arabic, but I'm not sure why."

Trowa- "Well, what's she saying?"

Quatre- "Uh, 'where is the bathroom' and 'how do i reach the ariport'?"

Hiiro- "Sure sounds like she's saying a lot more than that!"

(Quatre listens some more.)

Quatre- "She's telling us that she has a pass port and she wants to know where a
hotel is."

Duo- "This is nuts!"

(The lady finishes and falls to the ground in a dead faint. The burly man jumps
up."

Burly man- "PEOPLE! WE HAVE HEARD THE VOICE OF THE LORD THIS MORNING!! CAN I
HEAR AN AMEN!!"

Everyone- "AMEN!!! HALLALLUJAH!!! PRAISE YOU LORD!!! HALLELLUJAH!!!"

(They all start jumping and rolling around again. Duo runs over to the front
doors, but can't open them.)

Duo- "It's locked!"

Wufei- "Great!"

(Suddenly, the music quiets down to a gentle piano playing. Everyone stands and
sways as they sing 'Just as I Am'.)

Burly man- "If any of ya'll feel the ened to escape and run away- AWAY FROM THIS
LIFE!!! Just come on up to the alter! AMEN THERE IS AN EXIT RIGHT HERE!!"

Quatre- "Do you hear that!? He's gonna tell us how to get out of here!!"

(He runs off towards the front before any of the others can stop him.)

Trowa- "Quatre, come back! I don't think that's what he meant!"

(He runs after him, but Quatre reaches the burly man.)

Quatre- "I want out!!"

Burly man (looking up to heaven)- "Thank you, Lord, for sending this lost soul
our way!"

Quatre- "What?"

Burly man- "ARE YOUR READY TO FEEL THE HOLY POWER OF REDEMPTION?!"

Quatre (starting to cry)- "I just want to get out!!"

(To Quatre's suprise, the burly man's eyes roll into the back of his head and he
places a hand on Quatre's forehead.)

Burly man- "Son, BE HEALED WITH THE POWER OF THE SPIRIT!!!"

(With that, the burly man shoved Quatre's head back and he went flying. His head
crashed into one of the front pews, and he lay there, lifeless.)

Trowa- "Oh, my god! Quatre!!"

(Trowa ran to him and tried to wake him up while the burly man stood over them
both. Quatre didn't respond, only started to shake confulsively.)

Burly man- "AMEN!! THE HOLY SPIRIT IS PURGING HIS SOUL!! FREEING HIM FRON SIN!!"


(A few hours later...

Everyone had screamed themselves hoarse and couldn't scream any more. The Piano
cycled through "Just as I Am" yet again. The pilots had laid Quatre, who had
lapsed into some sort of coma from head trauma, onto the pew next to them. They
now sat there, drowsy and exhausted.)

Duo (yawning)- "Man, how many times are they going to play this song? That's the
eighty-seventh time!"

Hiiro- "I think the service is almost over."

(The burly man shuffled up to the mic.)

Burly man- "Thank you, everyone, for coming together to praise the Lord today!
PRAISE THE LORD!!"

Wufei- "Oh, for the love of Nataku!"

(Everyone started screaming again, and they seemed to have found a new energy.
Another song started up. Trowa walked over and punched out a window.)

Trowa- "We're getting out of here, now!!"

(No one disagreed with him, and Duo grabbed Quatre. They all sneaked out to the
car. Wufei found a ticked on his car and snatched it off.)

Wufei- "BASTARDS!! People in wheel chairs wouldn't come to this place!!"

(They all got into the car and made a hasty escape.)

Duo- "Well, that was educational! I learned that religion can be brutal."

Wufei- "I learned that you guys aren't the only nutcases out there."

Hiiro- "I fell asleep." (He then looked at the time and cursed.)

Duo- "Aww, did you miss your mission briefing? OUCH!! DAMN!!"

(Trowa sighed. They all drove to McDonalds to get something to eat and ordered
five large french fries. Everyone stared at Quatre when they dragged him in. He
had turned some unnatural color. They propped him up against the window in a
booth seat and sat down. After a katsup war, Hiiro had to go flush out his eye
in the bathroom. Duo asked Quatre if he wanted his fries, and didn't get an
answer. He took it as a yes. After the last fry was eaten and the last katsup
packed squirted, everyone heaved a sigh and leaned back. Then, they all jumped
at the sound of a noisy group of people walking in the door.)

Burly man- "HALLELLUJAH!! THANK YOU LORD FOR THESE GOOD BURGERS! AMEN!!"

(The pilots all shuddered and slunk out the back.)

Duo- "Talk about someone who needs to lose their religion!!"

Trowa- "I think they need to get one..."

tHe EnD

If you liked this, go to the next chapter.