The water droplets hit her forehead first, the light sprinkle of rain to come. Her nose twitched slightly as she looked up, another drop, then another, until it was a full downpour. She narrowed her eyes and shrugged out of her jacket. When it rained in Mississippi, the humidity went up just up twenty notches, making it hard for her to breath. She rolled the windows up in her car and cranked up the AC, continuing her drive.

Her mind was abuzz with too many things for her to be worried about little things, like turning on her head lightly when it was pitchblack and she couldn't even see the road in front of her, eventually the small nagging part of her brain won her over and she switched them on, barely missing a dead deer in the middle of the road by a few inches. She sighed and pulled over on the side of the road. The music that was on the raido as of now discribed her mood perfectly, depressed, out of order, and fucked up. She lifted her head slightly when her stomach growled, she'd forgotten the last time she actually sat her ass down and ate a full meal, obviously it was high time she did just that.

She groaned and reached up, flicking on the light inside of the car and looking into the rearview mirror, her eyes were that weird green color again, she didn't know why they did that. Ever since her father had died, they had been doing that on and off. Mostly when she had her weird dreams. She shook her head, blinked, and they were back to their normal grey coloring. Pulling out from the side of the road, she continued on her way, moving into Morgan City.

-x-

"Hey mom, do you have-" The teenaged Rowan stopped in the middle of the kitchen, her bare feet dipping into the red fluid that covered the floor, she peered around the island in the kitchen, the orange tile on the floor was stained, something her mother wouldn't have stood for. She figured her younger cousins had been over while she was at work and spilled something without cleaning it up. Her mother was nowhere in sight, she figured that she was out shopping for more cleaning supplies. She shrugged her shoulders and moved to reach into the kitchen closet, pulling out the mop and bucket, pouring bleach into the bucket and filing it with hot water, she dipped her hands into the steaming water, unaffected by the temperature. She started to clean, before the smell of pennies hit her nose, she dropped in the mop in surprise. Her nose twitched. She looked around the room, everything seemed normal to her.

She finally took a better look at the floor, raising her eyebrow and moving behind the counter, a trail started, looking like something was dragged. She made a small sound of annoyance in the back of her throat. She followed it, coming up on her parents room, she hesitated. She wasn't allowed in there, her father had told her so, said if he ever caught her he'd beat the skin off her ass, she figured this was important though and continued on through the door. It made a creaking noise, but when she was inside she came across more of the red fluid and the smell of pennies got stronger to her. The bed had a lump in it, the size of a person, motionless, the red stain even bigger now. She moved forward convinced it was one of her cousins playing a prank on her, and yanked the sheet back ."Johnny, you know your not allowed-!" The rest of the sentence lay forgotten as she laid her eyes on her mothers body, her eyes staring up at at the cracks in the ceiling, her lips slowly turning a blue color, her face a mass of black and blue spots. Rowan slowly moved back, falling on her ass into a puddle of more red fluid, which was obvious to her now that it was blood, she gagged and tried to move out of the spot on the rug, only managing to slip more and more and cover her clothing in red. She covered her mouth and moved over to the side of the bed, her shaking hands touching her mothers lightly before she quickly released her. Her vision becoming blurry, and not from the tears.

"Come on Hank! You want me to be late for work again?" She heard her mother voice in her head, her hands moved to cover her ears tightly, but she heard everything. "I'm coming Marrissa, hold your horses!" Her fathers deep baritone voice filtered in, the shuffling of his feet, he was drunk or high, maybe both. Her mother had learned to ignore it well. He burped, the smell filled her nose. He pressed against her mother from behind, his lips moved slowly along her neck, her mother giggled and turned to him. "I love you Risa." He slurred in her ear, he eared a grin from her mother, a nod, and a pat on the cheek. "Love you too Hank." He moved to unbutton her shirt, she batted his hands away. "Now now, I have to get to work." He got angry, he snatched her hand, holding it in his crushing grip. "Work can wait." Rowan tried to move as far away from the body as she could, but the scene continued to play in her mind.

"Hank, I have to go." A deafening smack echoed through her ears, her mother gasp of surprise, even if it wasn't the fist time he'd hit her, he growled and snatched her by her hair, Rowan could feel the hot breath on the back of her neck. "You stay here." A nod from her mother and he continued like he wanted. Rowan tried her best to block out the sounds, it was no use. Her mother was crying by the time it was all over. Her father had asked her to stop and apologized. She continued to sob. He'd punched her, hard. Marking her face. It only spurned her to cry harder. His hand reached into the drawer, the knife drawer. "MARISSA, SHUTUP!" He raised his arms above his head and started stabbing. By the time he was done, her stomach was littered with knife wounds, he'd gone and taken a shower, moved her body to the bed and left the house.

-x-

Rowan jerked up in the hotel bed, her breathing hard and harsh. She grasped her chest, her heart was beating hard. She jerked her head either way, until it all came back to her. She was in Morgan City, in her motel bed, having that damn dream again. She sighed and dropped back onto the bed. When her breathing finally did calm, she sat back up and pushed her hair back, it stuck to the back if her neck, the sweat was slowly drying on her skin and making her sticky.

She sighed and threw the blankets off and made her way to the bathroom, splashing hot water onto her face before she closed her eyes and looked into the mirror. Her eyes were that eerie green color again, she didn't mind it this time. She looked over to the shower. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. What had brought on her dream? She didn't know, she was far from home, she didn't own anything of her mothers, she hadn't even thought of her for the past few years.

She sighed and leaned her forehead against the palm of her hand. Ever since Dean had died, the dreams had become more violent and more out of whack, on top of everything her separation from Sam had made more things more complicated for her. Shortly after his brother was buried he'd broken the idea to her about splitting up. She'd tried to take the idea in strides, but it ended up in a big argument, and they parted ways with a harsh tension around them. Rowan had crashed at Bobby's house until she was back on her horse of hunting and she'd become more and more into her hunts, checking in less and less, and as she stared into the dirty mirror of the hotel bathroom, she hated herself more and more for just letting it all flush away from her, Dean would have been so disappointed in her, and Sam.

Rowan shook her head and leaned back, away from the sink and into the closed door, fuck Dean. He'd neglected to mention his deal to her, he'd left her out of the loop, he hadn't wanted her help, he didn't need her help. He didn't need her, was the underlining cause for it all as well, she just didn't want to admit any of it, she ignored the nagging feeling, hidden behind her non- caring manner. Waited until he was dying to express her feeling for him, and it was pointless. He'd been in so much pain that she figured he didn't even understand her. She'd fucked up and now there was no Dean for her to go to for comfort, no Sam, and no friends.