This is the story of Spongebob Sqaurepants. He is a sea sponge that lives in Bikini Bottom. He is pretty cool and I think you'll enjoy him and his friends. There is just one problem with Spongebob. He is a homosexual.
"Ah, good morning Gary," said Spongebob.
"Shut the [bleep] up homo, I'm going to the bar," said Gary
Gary was Spongebob's snail, who was become different when Spongebob become gay. He smokes and drinks a lot. Half of the day he is at the bar getting wasted, the other half he is with his snail friends smoking weed. After Spongebob became gay, he sent Gary to surgery to make him able to speak.
"And good morning my handsome Patrick," said Spongebob dreamily.
Patrick Star was Spongebob's partner and he was a starfish. He was fat and never wore a shirt (which was fine with Spongebob because he says Patrick has a sexy body).
"What we did was pretty good last night wasn't it," said Spongebob.
"Yes it was wonderful, Hon," said Patrick sleepy.
"I feel really confident sweetheart. I think I'm finally going to get that freaking job at the Krusty Krab."
Spongebob has been trying to get a job at a burger restaurant called The Krusty Krab for a while, because he needed money and wanted to meet people who wouldn't call him gay or fag or homo. The one person he knew wouldn't give him a hard time was the boss, Eugene Krabs, who didn't care about anything else except money, so he wouldn't judge him for being gay.
"I'm leaving right now, see you later sweetie," said Spongebob.
"Bye you hunky SOB," said Patrick.
And Spongebob left to go to The Krusty Krab to offer for a job…..
"You seem like a nice person Spongebob," said Eugene Krabs. "I'm Mr. Krabs, but you could call me Eugene."
Spongebob started thinking to himself. I wonder if Eugene is gay, because he's hot. No! Think you dumbass. Patrick is the most handsome person in the world, I'd never cheat on him.
"Your job Spongebob is to cook the Krabby Patties," said Eugene.
"What about the cash register?"
"Oh yes, Squidward will be working register," said Eugene.
Squidward was Spongebob's next door neighbor. Squidward has admitted he was gay, but he hated Spongebob and Patrick, and has not found a partner of his own. He tried hitting on Gary once, but he ended up in the hospital for a month.
"Damn it, Eugene, why did you give that sponge a job?"
"Quiet Squidward, we've been hopeless since Jim left," said Eugene.
"That gay little idiot," said Squidward.
"Oh Squidward, your abs are so sexy," said Spongebob.
"Shut the [bleep] up homo," said Squidward.
10 hours later, Spongebob had completed his first day at the Krusty Krab, with $0 in his paycheck. When he entered his home, a pineapple with a rock on it (a result of Spongebob and Patrick moving their home into one). He saw Gary and a bunch of his friends smoking cigarettes while reading the newest issue of Playsnail.
"Gary, what the hell is this?"Said Spongebob.
"Shut up fag," said Gary.
"Where's Patrick, I told him to watch you."
"Me and my homies gagged him; he's in the trunk of his boat."
"Gary you son of a bitch," said Spongebob.
Spongebob went into his garage and opened the trunk of Patrick's boat and saw him in there. He took the gag off his mouth and kissed him.
"Oh Patrick sweetie, are you alright?"
"I'm fine babe," said Patrick. "I'm gonna find Gary and kick his slimy ass."
Spongebob and Patrick walked into the room and saw one of Gary's friends dead.
"Gary, what did you do to him?" said Spongebob.
"Ha Ha, Fixed his [bleep] damn ass right up, he spilt beer on my leather jacket."
"THAT'S WHY YOU KILLED HIM," screamed Patrick. WE'RE GOING TO GET ARRESTED!