Dean could hear the sound of plates behind him but he wasn't paying attention. His mind was far away, lost in the cage where his brother was trapped for eternity.

Ben was sitting across the table from him, watching him in silence. He wanted to talk to Dean but the expression on his face held him back.

"Are you okay?"

Lisa's voice brought Dean back from his reverie and he realized where he was. He drank some whiskey from the glass he was holding on to like a life-line after reassuring Lisa he was fine. That was a lie he had perfected over the years; one he knew sounded hollow. He knew Lisa didn't believe it, not the first time he had said it, not now, but she didn't push him. He liked that. There were a lot of things he liked about her. And having Ben around was awesome. He just wished he could actually enjoy this life, enjoy them… but he just couldn't.

But a promise was a promise.

"Heads up, kiddo," he said to Ben as he threw him a piece of bread, pushing aside the haunting shadows of his past for a few moments so he could at least have a peaceful dinner with them.

Later that night, Lisa returned from sending Ben to sleep and found Dean watching TV on the couch with a recently filled glass of whiskey dangling from his fingers. She was worried about him, mostly because he refused to talk about what had happened; she could see how broken he felt.

She sat down quietly next to him, determined not to let another night pass without saying the thing she needed to say.

Dean felt Lisa settle down beside him and unglued his eyes from the news he wasn't really watching to turn his gaze on her.

"Hey..." she smiled at him.

"Hey you..." was his only reply, together with an attempt to smile back. He unconsciously took another drink from his glass as he stared at her; he didn't know why, but her smile had a soothing effect on him. Dean left his glass on the coffee table and moved his hand to caress her cheek. Lisa leaned on his palm.

"Dean, I need to tell you something..."

Dean's stomach took a turn. This is it, he thought, she's finally gonna kick me out. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just..." she hesitated but then looked straight into his eyes and carried on, "I know you're hurting and I know you don't want to talk about it. I just want you to know I'm here for you."

Dean couldn't hold Lisa's gaze for long. He dropped his eyes as a pain in his chest and throat started throbbing when he heard those words. This wasn't fair for her. She deserved someone better. Someone... whole.

"Lisa..." He croaked and then cleared his throat before he continued. "I am sorry. I can't... I'm fucked up and I wish I could be more..." He stopped. He didn't even know what he was trying to say.

Lisa moved closer to him to hold him tight in her arms. "It's ok, Dean. You don't have to be anything more than you are." She rested her hand on his chest. "Time heals all wounds, as cliche as that might sound."

Dean's arms surrounded her and he kissed her hair, breathing her in.

After everything, after saving the world and losing his brother, if this was how it had to be, he wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

He was done.

Maybe someday he would open up to her. Then again, maybe not.