A.N: This was a Procest competition entry. Thank you for reading.
Jungle Fever
Dear Journal,
I use the term 'journal' for a lack of a better word. Master Splinter has asked us to keep an account of our days here in the jungle and this is the best way I could think of. Raph won't be pleased, he wanted to make tape recordings like those spy films but I had to remind him we couldn't bring a three months supply of batteries with us. I'd feel too self-conscious speaking into those things anyway, I wouldn't know what to talk about and I'd end up just deleting it because I sound like an idiot on tape.
Besides, the aim of this trip is to 'live as nature intended', and I don't think nature intended for us to have audio tape recorders. We're already bending the rules with our weapons – I wanted to craft our own using tree bark and rocks but Raphael politely refused my idea. I won't repeat his words because Master Splinter will eventually be reading this and no doubt Raph's entries will be colorful enough.
We've already argued twice since we got here this morning. Master Splinter thinks that living in a primal environment together will force us to work as a team and overcome our differences but I'm afraid we're not off to a very good start. I thought it would be a good idea to build our shelter in the trees closest to the river so that we would always have a clean water supply but Raph disagreed, favoring the caves further into the forest.
I'm not looking forward to the next three months. The climate is really humid and is already irritating us, and the close proximity of all these insects is really setting Raph on edge. If I was taking this pilgrimage on my own it would be a perfect chance for me to develop my survival skills and become a better leader, but I'm stuck with Raph. It is important that we make the most of this trip however. As difficult as I know it will be, I'm kind of interested in spending time with him.
We're going to move on in a moment, exploring further in case we come across a better area for our temporary home. I quite like the jungle so far. It's very beautiful, and it almost feels like we're completely alone. I'm a little wary of the animals, but as of yet we've only spotted a few monkeys and lizards that have left us well alone. I'm determined that we will be able to make the most of the next twelve weeks. We'll be an unbeatable pair, I promise.
Leo
Sup.
Jungle sucks. It's too hot. Fucking bugs everywhere giving me the creeps. Every five minutes there's another crawling up my arm. Leo thinks it's funny. I'm gonna trip him up into some monkey shit. Then let's see you laugh big brother. These three months are gonna be torture. Don't need any stinking teamwork training. Me and Leo are fine when he ain't being all superior and lecturing me. It's him with the problem.
I hate writing shit. My idea was better. My idea for the shelter was better too. We compromised though, found another cave further up the river. Suppose that's kinda the idea of this whole thing. Still sucks. Dunno why Splinter picked the jungle. Either way I'm gonna make this as difficult as possible for old Fearless Leader. Don't wanna spend time with him. He makes me feel shit I don't wanna feel. It's best leaving it alone. I'll just have to get through these next few months avoiding him as much as possible.
Raph
Dear Journal,
We've been here a week now and have settled into a calming routine. We rise when the sun comes through the cave and have a run through the trees. We gather food throughout the morning and then spend some time alone after lunch. I like to meditate the afternoon away in the sun; it feels so unexpectedly good on the skin. We train together in the evening, until nightfall, when we eat dinner together. A lot of the time we go straight to sleep after, tired out by the long day. But sometimes we stay up a couple of hours and talk about lots of things, games we played as children, songs we used to sing, tricks we used to pull. These nights are my favorite.
We worked together to weave mats out of the tree leaves the other night. We argued that morning, but making those together seemed to clear the air. It's nice, working on things like that with him. We didn't talk much, but it just felt right. It didn't last long though; we were back at each other's throats an hour later. I'm really worried. I guess I thought we would have made a little progress, understood one another a little more. But we've just snapped at each other most of the time. He avoids me as best he can too.
I'm not sure what to do. He makes me so angry I can't even think straight. This trip is supposed to be about enlightenment, about eliminating everything superficial from our lives so we can focus on what truly matters – us. But all he does is moan about missing his bike, drinking with Casey, his weights. I have to admit, I miss some of the luxuries we had at home too like clean sheets and hot green tea, and I long for Don and Mike something terrible (I notice he doesn't express that, but I know he misses them too). But I put all of that aside because I want this to work. Sadly, I don't think he shares the same concerns.
Leo
Sup
Jungle sucks more than ever. I'm covered in mosquito bites. Itch like crazy. Leo's still pulling the high and mighty attitude, trying to plan out everything we do like some fucking general. I miss home so bad. Wrote a letter but I'm not sure how to post it. We ain't supposed to go near the village. It's surrounded by soldiers and they all have guns. I could take them out but I don't want Leo bitchin' at me any more than he already is.
Hate avoiding him but it's better than kicking his teeth in. Heat's getting to my head. All this time together is bringing back everything that I worked so damn hard to hide. Sun's starting to tan his skin. Looks real good. Not sure how much longer I can last. Fuck.
Raph
Dear Journal,
We risked a trip to the village this morning, early before the sun rose. We were running low on supplies. Our hunting skills are second to none, but we've quickly learned neither of us have a taste for leopards and the like. Fruit and nuts are plentiful here, but we needed medical materials and Raph will only go so long without eating meat in some form. We've had a few injuries, but nothing too serious, the usual scrapes and a cheetah slashed Raph's arm yesterday. But then he stuck a sai in its face. There was blood everywhere. I don't think our trip is beneficial for the wildlife's preservation.
We left before the sun came up, sneaking around the perimeters and exploring the more deserted houses. I was surprised – there wasn't a soldier in sight. When we first arrived nearly two weeks ago the place had been swarming with gunmen, protecting the village I'd assumed, but I guess that's not the case. Regardless, it made our job a whole lot easier. We didn't take much, and made sure to leave behind a couple of the coins April had exchanged for us.
I posted our letters and then salvaged some bandages and antiseptic from what must have been their clinic, but I felt guilty as their own provisions were already meager. There were a couple of patients there, deep in a feverish sleep. It was strange; there was an odd fear that lingered in the atmosphere, as if they were petrified even as they dreamed. I've never seen anything like it, and it has me worried. How were they injured in the first place? What are they frightened of?
Raph doesn't share my concerns. He'd snapped the neck of a fat goat and carried it over his shoulders like a trophy. I hope they don't notice it missing. He's skinning it as we speak, singing loudly with a huge grin on his face. It's a little unnerving actually. But it's the most I've seen him smile since we arrived here, and the sight, as grossly bizarre as it is, is uplifting, and a little intoxicating. We haven't argued for two days now, I consider this a huge improvement.
Leo
Sup
I just found out I like goat meat. I liked gutting it, gonna dry out its skin and make a rug to give to Mikey. He'd like that. Made me feel all masculine. Raph man. Man provide mate with food. Except Leo ain't my mate. Getting harder to avoid him. He's starting to smell real good too. Worst thing is I don't think it's such a bad idea anymore. It's just the two of us and nothing bad can happen. I know he's drawn to me too. Caught him smiling at me when I was cooking the goat.
Jungle ain't so bad today.
Raph
Dear Journal,
I think I'm going mad. We've been here nearly three weeks now. Raph and I don't argue anymore, but somehow that's so much worse. I've started to notice he has this weird, musky scent that gets me flustered. I think I actually like it. I find myself staring at him a lot too. The sun has darkened his skin and shines on the scales with an iridescent gleam. It's almost as if I'm attracted to him.
I'm going to have to rewrite some of these entries – I can't let Master Splinter know I'm starting to find my own brother appealing. Though who knows what he writes in his own submissions. This is worrying me more than the mysterious situation with the village. I can't sleep at night; I'm too distracted by how close he is. The temperature drops dramatically once the sun goes down so we have to huddle together in the woven mats we made. But all I can concentrate on is his breath against my skin and his hand absent-mindedly brushing my leg.
I need to pull myself together. There's nothing I want to do more than act upon the sudden impulses to touch him, to kiss him even, but I refuse to. Hopefully it is my brain tricking me into thinking that our new comradeship is actually affection. We haven't been in such close proximity for a long period of time since we were children, and we hugged and kissed each other then.
But deep down I know that idea is ridiculous. I never wanted to have sex with him when we were ten years old, and that's the scariest part.
Leo
Sup
I'm gonna kiss Leo. I can't take it anymore. I'm just gonna go for it. Maybe the heat's getting to me I dunno. All I know is he's driving me crazy. He sleeps next to me at night and it takes all my willpower not to take him into my arms and make out with him. Just imagining his mouth on mine is giving me shivers. A part of me still thinks it's a stupid idea but most of me is just begging me to do it. I daydream about him yelling at me and then I shut him up with a hot, fierce kiss.
The aim of this trip is to find common ground, make amends, strip our relationship down to the bare bones and allow nature to build it back up. And what's a better way than fucking like animals on the jungle floor? Ain't nothing more natural than that. That's what our wild ancestors have done for thousands of years and it's what I wanna do now. Not sure if he'd let me right away but these feelings have been festering inside of me for too long now.
Gonna wait until after we've eaten. He's in the best mood then. Sleepy, unguarded, finds it easier to laugh and smile. God he's fucking gorgeous when he smiles.
Raph
Dear Journal,
Raph kissed me last night. It was…different, to what I imagined. It was intense, passionate, even desperate. I'd always thought of romance and tenderness, and it was that, afterwards. To start with it was rough, bruising, and so exciting. Once we'd calmed down and settled for the night he turned soft and gentle. It surprised me; I hadn't realized how dangerous and fiery these feelings were. Straight away I was addicted, couldn't get enough of his mouth.
Neither of us explained ourselves, there wasn't any need for it. There was a mutual understanding that we could never achieve with words, only with fleeting touches and eager kisses. We've been longing for each other, for far too long now. The thought is…exhilarating, and comforting. Knowing there was someone who not only returned my feelings, but knew every inch of my heart and head inside out. I'm concerned about the consequences when we return home, but for now I want to spend this time wisely. We can explore our new relationship without outside pressure from our family and the dangers of our home.
Leo
Sup
I did it. Was amazing. Can't stop now. I want to touch him all the time, just to prove to myself that I can, that he likes it. Almost feels like a dream. It's like we're the only ones in the whole damn world. I thought he'd be hesitant, prudish almost. But he fucking loves it. Kisses back with the same passion I have. Touches me with the same hunger I have. His tongue's just as electrifying as I imagined.
Can't wait to touch his dick.
Raph
Dear Journal,
This is week six, halfway through our time here. My relationship with Raph has changed so much, and then also not at all. Our arguments are just as heated, as violent as before, but less frequent, and healed by sweet kisses and embraces. I can't get enough of him. It's a slice of life I never thought I'd be able to have for myself, and at the back of my mind there is always this worry that reality will come crashing back down when we have to leave here. I try not to think about it, would much rather bury myself in his touch.
We go to the village once a week. More people are injured with each visit, and sometimes we hear gunshots echoing through the trees. I'm starting to think that the soldiers aren't protecting the habitants, but are in fact threatening them. Raph thinks I'm being paranoid again, but there's something about the way the military men prowl around as if they own the place that riles me. The villagers are scared; I can see it with every glimpse of them we catch. I want to help them but I don't even know where to begin. I have no proof.
I can only keep my wits about me and survey the village some more. It's hard to force myself to get up when I'm tight and warm and safe in Raph's arms (how I shall ever go back to sleeping alone I don't know) but I'm going to get up an hour earlier each morning so I can scope the place out. The soldiers have to have a base of some sort, but we haven't stumbled across it yet. This trip hasn't been for nothing, I would never have foreseen the intimacy Raph and I have now, but if I can help make the natives' lives just a little bit easier, I would feel better about the whole thing.
Leo
Sup
We argued bad today. It's night and we still haven't made up. He's glaring into the fire like it killed his first born son. Don't like it. We've fought so many times before, but this one seemed to cut deeper. Dunno if it's cuz of how we feel about each other or what but it fucking blows. Makes me sick cuz already I'm aching to touch him, miss hearing him speak softly to me. But to get that back I have to apologize, and I'm not sure I can.
We found out what the deal is with the nearby village. He was right; those soldiers aren't protecting them from the vicious wildlife or whatever. They're beating on the villagers for protection money, shooting the men so they can't fight back and raping the women. Makes my blood boil just thinking about it. Dunno what they think gives them the right to abuse them like that. They're already vulnerable, and those bastards strip them of everything they have.
I wanted to storm in there and kill every last one of them, but Leo is hesitant, he ain't sure how we can help. Bullshit. We have a duty to use our ninjitsu to save people where we can, ain't that what this whole honor shit is about? He's still stuck in the 'protect my clan only' mindset – can't bring himself to put us in danger to save strangers. Pisses me off so bad. I'm not gonna sit by while innocent people are getting killed by some jumped up assholes with guns. He's gonna have to accept that.
Raph
Dear Journal,
So much has happened in such a short space of time. Yesterday, Raph and I argued terribly over the state of the village. We've spent many days studying the settlement from a distance, skulking in the trees and blending into the shadows cast by the sun. Sadly, I was right. The people are being ruled by these soldiers, forced to give them what little money they earn for 'protection against the jungle'. If the soldiers don't get what they want, they hurt the villagers in every way they know how.
As a result of growing up in New York, we have seen many things. We have seen cruelty, and violence, and rape, and torture. And it's awful but you sort of expect it from a huge, diverse city such as that. Seeing it happen here, in such a beautiful and inspirational place that hasn't been corrupted by technology and pollution and politics, makes it so much worse. These people have barely anything as it is, and these men are snatching it away from them. I feel obliged to help, but what can we do?
What can two teenaged ninjas do against a whole army of trained killers? We don't even know how many of them there are or where their base is. How can we utilize our stealth and our strength if we don't know vital information? We'll be killed, and I simply cannot allow that. Raph, as usual, disagrees with me. The mistreatment of these people hurt him; he has always been so protective and caring. We owe nothing to these people, but he doesn't believe that should stop us from doing the right thing. I want to help. But we can't.
We made love last night. I wasn't even expecting it; we hadn't fooled around much before. A few gropes in the darkness with curious tongues and fingers, but nothing that would have me believe that sex would be the next step. Don't get me wrong, I'd thought about it, but I hadn't realized how desperately I wanted it until he wrestled me to the floor and made his intentions clear. My previous daydreams and concerns about sex were quickly abolished. It was nothing I could prepare myself for.
We were arguing again by the fire in our cave. I was getting tired and upset at that point but still he chipped away, appealing to my honor and begging me to change my mind. We were both getting snappier, until all of a sudden he let out a feral growl that I'd never heard before and just leaped on me. Natural instincts told me to tense and prepare myself for a fight, but before I knew it his mouth was on mine and he was kissing me with a ferocity that shot straight to my groin. I'd been turned on before, I had desires just as much as he did, but the want that started to overwhelm me wasn't one I could ignore like the rest.
It was as if our hands already knew the way around each other's bodies, clawing at soft cartilage and kneading hard flesh. We weren't quiet, nor were we gentle. I'm covered in bites and scratches and bruises and he has just as many. Each drop of blood that was drawn just unleashed another thrilled shiver and made everything that little bit more sensitive. His hand around my penis was hot, calloused and rough, but oh so expert. Each jerk of his wrist had me mewling and squirming beneath him, and I can only hope that my own clumsy movements with his length were just as pleasurable.
He used massage oil for lubrication, which is essentially against the rules as it is a manmade substance, but at the time I didn't care. His fingers intruding my ass were aggressive and bruised as they worked. I don't know where he learned the nuances of anal sex but I was grateful. His penis burned worse than his fingers, stretching raw, sensitive flesh, and I remember for the briefest of seconds I wondered why the hell I ever wanted this. But then he started moving, and each thrust ignited a wave of ecstasy within me. Within seconds I found myself driving my hips to meet his, desperate to be taken with as much strength as he possessed.
It was so animalistic I think I forgot who I was for a short amount of time. We left ourselves behind and fell into this wild haze of lust and instincts, nipping at each other's skin and letting out rumbling churrs. It gave the saying 'let nature take its course' a whole new meaning. Not once did I fret about how I looked, or the weird noises we were making, or the moral implications of sleeping with my brother. All I cared about was releasing the uncontrollable, paralyzing bliss churning through my groin. Raph wasn't even my brother at that point. He was my mate, and mine alone.
I'd never climaxed like that before. I'd always seen arousal as a primary bodily need, such as hunger or thirst, and I would relieve myself with about the same emotional attachment as I would when eating, or going to sleep. I never once enjoyed it, or fantasized, just simply stroked myself until the need was fulfilled. Last night's orgasm was nothing like those times. I can't even find the words to describe last night's. It completely numbed my brain, opening up every nerve to this physical pleasure that wracked my whole body.
It was afterwards when things became soft and loving. We held each other as we caught our breath, nuzzling shoulders and kissing sore spots. It was as if we remembered ourselves and pushed the primitive turtle parts to the back of our minds where they usually resided. I had always thought that we were predominantly human, with reptilian looks and functions, but last night reminded me that we do have the darker, animal sides hidden deep within one another. Already I want to control it. I cannot allow myself to be dominated by my instincts. Instead, I must master them like everything else.
A part of me was terrified that things would change between us now, but I needn't have worried. Raph was instantly back to his old self, teasing me about how desperate I had been and commenting fervently about the 'hot' noises I had made (personally I think I must have sounded like a cat being strangled to death). His kisses are the same as they have been for the last two weeks, a varied mixture of tenderness and passion, only they hold a sexier, secretive edge to them, a wink to what had happened and what will happen again.
Just as I was addicted to his kisses, I know I will be addicted to sex with him. I'd never felt so free and unrestricted as I had last night. All of the control and the pressure I put on myself vanished and I must have that again, to stop myself from falling apart, to merge with him on a deeper level once again. God, I can't wait until it's my turn to take him. I think I'd explode.
Leo
Sup
I screwed Leo up the ass last night. It was fucking awesome.
Raph
Dear Journal,
We have five weeks left of our trip, and already we've set out what we planned to do, and more. I never believed that I could ever be this happy, and if you had told me three months ago it would be because of Raph I would have laughed in your face. But it's true. Being with Raph like this fills me with a contentment that I've never known before. It's like things have finally slotted into place and I feel like I can stand proud and face the rest of the world and anything it throws at me, whereas before I was bent double from the crushing weight.
We spoke about leaving early; we're both really missing our brothers and our home. However neither of us can bring ourselves to leave the poor villagers in the state that they're in. I'd just feel so guilty knowing that we left them to such a life. So we've been hashing out plans all day to try and find out as much about the soldiers as we can. If we needed proof that we are a deadly pair when we have a common goal then this is definitely it.
Tomorrow morning at dawn, we're both going to head to the village again. So far we've learned that the soldiers tend to show up around mid-morning and start causing trouble as they collect their money. Once they've finished, I will follow them back to their base, memorizing their route and making a note of their tracks. Then I shall do as much of a thorough recon of the area as I can before returning back here and drawing up a map. It's even more important now that we play to our strengths, and mine has always been stealth.
Raph, on the other hand, will put his observation talents into good use by blending in with the villagers, interrogating and learning as much as he can about them and the threat that they're under. It will be difficult, these people are a lot more perceptive and suspicious than New Yorkers, but I'm confident he can do it. We'll kit him out with plenty of old rags and dirty him up a bit. He's good at studying people and adapting his movements to theirs so he will soon have them thinking he is one of them.
It's a dangerous plan, but one I'm sure we can pull off. I would be too wary if I were in his place, would prefer to stay in the shadows and watch rather than confront and interact with people, but he's always been one to take risks and can be very charismatic when he wants to be. Similarly, I know he wouldn't do as well with my job; he'd be far too tempted to run in with all guns blazing rather than take a backseat and simply scope out the environment.
I'm confident that the next entry we write will involve another foolproof plan. All we have to do is bring this military base down and then we can go back to New York, together. Home has never sounded so good.
Leo
Sup
I just got back from the village, it's about midday and as hot as balls. Couldn't stay long, was melting under all the clothes and people were starting to get doubtful of this big bulky stranger skulking around asking about the military. Think I learnt enough though. Managed to find out what kinda weapons they had, and that there's about fifty of them, living a few miles south of here. Hope Leo found them okay.
Made everything so much more real, walking about through their streets and seeing their faces. They're fucking terrified. They live in this constant fear, always dreading each day in case someone they love gets hurt again. We gotta help them; I'd never be able to live with myself if we didn't. I think Leo sees that now. Killed me to see him disappear without me earlier, I'm on edge even now waiting for him .I can't be without him, not anymore.
The sex is fucking incredible. We've done it three times now and each one was as mind blowing as the last. It's crazy, I've jacked off before (sometimes I think about Don and Mikey, but most of the time it's about him), and it's nothing compared to pounding into his sweet, tight ass. I lose all sense when we're doing it. All I can get to grips with is him squeezing around my rock hard dick as I slam into him, his sweaty body shaking beneath mine, his pleading churrs in my ear. Found out there's nothing I love more than him screaming my name in delight as he comes.
Ugh I'm getting horny just writing about it. He's getting it good when he comes back, I don't give a shit about debriefing, that can come afterwards. It's scary, how much I'm driven by this. But it's okay, because I know he is too, that much is obvious. God knows how we'll manage when we get home, we'd never get any privacy. Kinda looking forward to it though. Can't wait to tell Mike and Don, they'll never believe us hahaha. Joke's on you bitches.
Raph
Dear Journal,
As predicted, the initial plan was successful. I tracked the soldiers' quads through the jungle to a remote base about five miles from the village. The vegetation grew sparser the closer I got, leaving little room to hide. It wasn't very large, held around fifty men or so, but large enough to cause us problems. I climbed the trees closest to the walls and scaled in that way, quickly blending into the shadows of the huts.
There were plenty of men around, all large, dark and hairy with deep, booming Spanish voices. It was easy to avoid them; they were mostly concerned with those that had returned from the village, eager to examine their spoils. I made my rounds as fast as I could, peering into every building I could and creating a mental image to relay back to Raph. I was surprised by what I found. Because they stole so much money and valuables from the village, I thoroughly expected to find high class weaponry and military equipment. Instead, I came across mediocre rifles and pistols, accompanied by crates of various explosives. I left as swiftly as I could.
Rather than upgrading their facilities, they squander the money on cigarettes and alcohol and gambling in the city. Raph confirmed this once I returned to camp. Well. He confirmed it after grappling me to the floor and having his wicked way with me (not that I complained). His own mission had been just as triumphant, finding out many important details about the soldiers' habits and tricks. After tonight's training session, we'll sit together and devise a plan to end this once and for all.
Leo
Sup
I'm so fucking buzzed I can barely write. We're moving out in an hour, gonna show those motherfuckers who's boss. Donny would love this plan. Basically, we're going in there when they're all asleep and lighting all those explosives they got sitting pretty in their little base. Gonna be like the fourth of July right here. Serves the cruel dumb shits right.
Leo's on edge as usual. Using it as an excuse to comfort him, though I suppose I don't need an excuse now. He's determined to make sure nothing goes wrong, though I can't see how it would. So long as we get outta there as quickly as we can it won't be a problem. They helped things along by clearing most of the trees from the stone walls – means the fire should be contained within their compound and eventually die out when there's nothing else to burn. Stupid assholes.
Can't wait to tell Don and Mike about this.
Raph
Dear Journal,
It's been three weeks since we attacked the military base. I couldn't bring myself to write before now, I've been so worried. I nearly lost Raph. He's on the mend now, but it was touch and go for a long time. I'm exhausted; I haven't slept or eaten properly since it happened. The worst thing was knowing that if we were at home, we could have treated it easily and he wouldn't have suffered anywhere near as much. But here I have nothing. I have a small needle and thread, no painkillers. Just clean bandages and herbal antiseptics.
It was going so well. We infiltrated the base easily without any mishaps – it was extremely poorly guarded – and found the weapons building. We were silent like ghosts, entering and arranging everything accordingly without a hitch. We created a trail of gasoline from the window to the explosives. I remember watching the liquid glint in the moonlight for the briefest of seconds, then Raph lit a match and we stole away like demons into the night. However, I mistimed how long it would take for us to reach our escape point. We were halfway when the explosion rocked the base.
We were forcefully flung several feet across the ground, smashing against a stack of crates and supplies. Wood splintered and snapped, and within seconds, the whole area was ablaze. The light hurt our eyes and we scrambled to safety, but all around us men were screaming and shouting and fleeing from the inferno. Gunshots were echoing all around us as we ran and the stink of burning flesh made me feel sick. We somehow managed to make it to the far wall, scaling it so fast the stone grazed our hands. It was as we were climbing that Raph was shot.
I heard him groan in pain but when I looked back he shoved me on, and because he continued to climb I didn't think twice. The orange glow from the blaze lit up the forest for ages, but we soon melted into the shadows. The echoing shouts of the men and the roaring of the flames soon died out. We made it back to camp and that was where Raph collapsed and I saw the damage that had been done. I had to force myself not to panic, jumped up on fear and adrenalin.
Like I said, it was a minor wound, but I had nothing to extract it with and no painkillers. I ended up having to heat up a knife and cut out the bullet, making even more of a mess. I'll grimace at the scar in months to come, but he's already saying how sexy it'll make him look. Ass. I was so frightened. All I could do was pile up the old clothes he used as a disguise and press down with all of my strength until the blood began to clot.
I didn't dare leave him for a long time. It was a miracle he didn't bleed out on me. But eventually it stopped and I stitched up him as best as I could, slathering the wound in antiseptic before bandaging him up. It did the trick, though he was in pain for a long time. He spent most of the last two weeks drifting in and out of consciousness, babbling nonsense and fighting a fever. I cleaned it regularly, did my best to get fluids and food into him. I refused to let myself think of the alternative. After a while I was too tired to anyway.
I was so relieved when his eyes became clearer, and he could speak to me without slurring. I think I cried, but everything feels like a blur. I can't explain to you the damage that losing him, or any of them would cause. I honestly cannot tell you what I would have done if he'd died, and that scares me. I would have been torn, torn between him and our family at home. I think the decision would have driven me mad.
But there's no need to worry about that now. He's alive and recovering well. He laughs at me all the time, and it's such a relieving sound. He asked if we could have sex this morning. I glared at him and smacked his arm, but secretly I could have sobbed with relief. As soon as he can move, we are on the first boat home. Only then can I truly relax.
At least the villagers are free. I haven't left Raph so I'm not sure how they have been the last few weeks. No doubt they have heard of the attack and are rejoicing. At least I hope so. I wouldn't want this whole mess to be for nothing. I nearly lost Raph for them, and that is just too high a price to pay. But it's no good worrying about the what ifs. We did what we set out to do.
I'm both frightened and excited to share our relationship with our family. I just hope that they will be as elated as us to see how Raphael and I have found each other. I know that our intimacy will strengthen our team. Now we are connected in every way possible, revolving around each other like planets to the sun and moon. A little dramatic maybe, but it's how I see it. Nature intended us to be together, I'm sure.
Leo
Sup
Boat sucks. Being injured sucks. Leo not wanting to screw me sucks. But thank fuck we're on our way home. And there's no more bugs. And Leo's wrapped in my arms, asleep. We're sappy bitches. He's out cold, exhausted himself looking after me. I'm better now though. I'll take care of him. Stupid ass soldiers panic-shooting. They're probably all dead or gone by now. We never checked.
Village is doing good though. Word must've gotten around cuz they were all happy and stuff as we passed through. Kinda filled me with pride, knowing we'd helped them. Didn't matter that they didn't know who we were. They've lived there for generations, at one with the jungle around them, and then man comes and fucks it up for them. At least now they can start repairing their lives and living with nature again.
I on the other hand, am staying well away from fucking nature. I am going back to my bed, drinking my beer, eating my pretzels and riding my bike. All I have to thank it for is bringing Leo to me, which I know is a damn lot, but hey I nearly died back there. I'm gonna keep my luxuries thank you very much. Nature can kiss my ass.
Raphael out bitches