Please Ch. 1
Edward's POV
The meaning of life is always so unclear. What does a person really live for? Do you live for the one you care the most or do you live for the one that cares about you the most? Sometimes I wonder if there is a life in another world that is easier. I dream about that place. A place where you could be with the one you loved, you other half, your soul mate. In that world there is no such thing as heartbreak, or the fear of rejection. In that world there would only be people, pairs, who have found their other half; people who are full beings and people who are happy. In my world though, this dreary place called Earth, happiness is not always the case.
I first laid eyes on her when I was 5 and SHE was 4. I heard her laughter before I saw her, that wonderful or devastating day (depending on how I look at it now) at the local ice-cream shop. The sound of bells chimed through the air, and she caught my attention. I remember thinking where this beautiful sound came from and that I must find the source of this appealing noise. When I turned around, I saw her. Right then, and there I knew I wanted her to be my best friend. Well that was when I was 5, I didn't know what love was yet but even then I knew that I wanted her to be in my life forever.
She was there laughing with her friend over which flavor of ice-cream would taste the best. Even in my short 5 years of age I have never seen another more mystical and beautiful human being. She had a head full of gorgeous long brown wavy hair and her eyes were shining with a sparkle that seems that it cannot be put out- not that I wanted to. I immediately walked over and introduced myself.
*Flashback*
E: Hi! I'm Edward and I'm 5
B: Hi Edward I'm Bella and I'm turning 5 in 6 months
A: Hi! I'm Bella's cousin Alice and I'm 5 too! We should all be friends!
*End of Flashback*
Well let's just say that because of a certain 4"11 pixie. I became friends with the love of my life. As we got older, me and Bella got closer and closer. By the time we were 8 I could proudly tell the world that Bella Swan was MY best friend.
It took me a few years to realize that I didn't want to be just her friend. At the age of 14 I started noticing her. I noticed how she started to fill out her clothes more and her legs seem to get longer and longer. At the time I didn't realize what it meant until that night.
~BOREDTODEATH1~
Edward-16
Bella- 15
Bella came running into me bursting with excitement.
E: Whoa slow down Bella! What has got you so excited?
B: Edward I have the biggest news EVER!
E: So, what is it?
B: Mike asked me out! I said yes of course… I'm going on my first date!
I didn't know what was happening. I felt pain welled up inside of me and I felt like finding that son of a bitch and punching him on the face. I didn't even know what to say. All I could do was sit there frozen and shocked. I must have looked upset because next thing I knew
B: Edward? How dare you! I didn't even tell Alice the good news yet and you are not supportive of me? Do you know what a big deal this is for me? I have waited for him to ask me out for months!
At that I couldn't think straight. I didn't know this overwhelming feeling inside of me. At the time I did not know that it would be the feeling I have to endure for years to come. At that time, I did not know that I was in love with my best friend. At that time, I did not know that the feeling that was crushing me was the feeling of my heart breaking into pieces. At that time, I did not know that my heart could be broken over and over again. At that time I did not know that I would be stuck with loving someone who would never look at me the same time. At that time I did not realize that I was such a masochist. At that time I did not know that I would live with the heart ache because I could not live without my beautiful best friend. At that time, I did not know.
E: huh… Oh ya I'm so happy for you Bella. When are you going out?
B: OMG I have to call Alice NOW! The date is tonight and Mike said that it is a surprise
(The Date)
There was still 5 minute left before Mike Newton was suppose to come and I was sitting on her couch watching the football game. All of the sudden, the feel in the air changed. Instead of the calmness of the football game, I felt like the room was encased in electric wire. The air was so thick that I didn't need to turn around to know that Bella came down the stairs. As I turn around, I couldn't believe my eyes. She was wearing this beautiful white sundress with her hair curled and a pair of heels that made her legs seemed miles long. I looked at Alice and she gave me a knowing glance. It took me a while to clear my head. Thankfully, Bella was too nervous to notice
E: WOW! Bella! You look absolutely amazing! Just WOW!
B: Thanks Edward
And a delightful pink hue covered her face. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was an angel and she was standing right in front of me. I loathe myself for not seeing and knowing what I now understand. How come I have not recognized that my feelings towards Bella are no longer in the friend zone? I have way surpassed the friend zone. I now am situated uncomfortably in the IAMINLOVEWITHMYBESTFRIEND Zone.
~BOREDTODEATH1~
Now, I am 22 and I have been in love with my best friend since I was 16. Well, probably earlier but I didn't know what I felt until that dreadful night where Mike Newton came. When she opened the door and gave him a hug, I could have punched him. I would have punched him, if I didn't turn around and saw the little pixie give me a death glare, thought short, the message of "leave him alone" was there.
"Edward leave her be, you could have told her you loved her years ago, but you didn't want to and now you lost your chance. She's really excited to be going on a date with Mike. I know you love her but give her some freedom. You tell her when she's not getting ready for a date ok? The little pixie ranted to me.
"I don't love her… PSSSHHH what are you talking about?" I countered but I knew this was no fight. I can't hide anything especially from this all knowing pixie. I swear it's like she can see the future or something.
"Nice try. I suggest you tell her though because you guys will be sooo cute together! Omg then we can double date with me and Jasper! OMG! OMG! OMG!" She chirped
"Calm down Alice, Calm down! I can't tell her, like you just said she's happy with Mike and with Mike gone there might be someone else. Plus, I can't ruin our friendship. What if I tell her and she doesn't like me back?" She tried to protest but I kept on talking. "Then I'll make things awkward between us. Furthermore, if I say those three words then I won't be able to put them back in my mouth. I can't say them and pretend it's not true."
"But EDWARD!" she whined
"No more Alice, leave it be" and I don't know if it was my tone of voice her she gave up on persuading me but she shut up and walked away.
So I spent my last 6 years suffering through this hell hole on Earth. Not only do I have to watch her get ready and go on her dates, I have to hear about her crushes and her "lovely" dates. I don't know how I got the job of "listener" but I guess it came with the description of being her best friend. Every time she got ready for a date, I would wish that it was me she was dressing up for, every time she came home crying, I would wish that I could kill the bastard that did this to her. Every time she came to me and told me about a new guy, I would wish that I could tell her that by listening to her, my heart is re-breaking over and over again. I wish I could tell her that she was killing me. The thought is comical- death by a broken heart.
I have tried to tell her once. I remember that day as clear as if it was yesterday. It was Bella's birthday and I was finally going to make a move. I finally had enough of being the invisible best friend. It is not surprising that Bella can't see me as a worthy enough man to be with her. She was gorgeous. That couldn't even describe her enough. She had luscious silky brown hair down to her hips. Her big doe like eyes and her delicate porcelain face and her delicate little mouth… Hmm… Just thinking about her made my blood racing south. But by any standards I was not ugly. Some may even say I'm hot. Apparently I have the whole tortured guy look, the unattainable guy with the sexy hair and the perfect abs and biceps if I do say so myself. So, I was getting ready to serenade her at her own birthday party, when she entered the house.
At first, I didn't even notice who was beside her, all I could see was this gorgeous angel with her hair up, little makeup on and she was wearing this tight black mini dress that showed off how well she has developed. Also she had on these black heels on that made her legs run on and on and on. It wasn't until I looked at her bracelet that I noticed someone else's hand was holding her.
My head snapped up in an instant and I saw his face. Later, I learned that this was her boyfriend of 2 weeks. They went to the same university and met at the local starbucks. James. I instantly hated this guy, not only because he ruined my plans of confessing my love to my angel but he had something about him that I had the urge to sack him.
My blood was now racing and I'm pretty sure I couldn't hide the hurt on my face. There was a rushing into my head as it finally recognizes the situation. It took a while for me to comprehend what this meant and when I did, I heard the break. My fragile delicate heart that had started to hope tonight was crushed once again. This time it didn't just take a smile from Bella to heal again. This time it took longer, though not that long. I lasted only until Bella came and gave me a hug. Even if I didn't want it to, my treacherous heart skipped a beat at the contact.
When she walked away with James, I turned to my family and saw their expressions. Each face after another was well composed and their eyes were all searing into mine. I just shook my head and went home dejected, rejected and in pain. That night I couldn't sleep as I turn over and over again on my bed thinking about how beautiful Bella looked. Even if I tried, I couldn't stop loving Bella. At that moment I realized that no matter how painful, and how many times she would stomp all over my heart, I will always love her. I am really stupid.
~BOREDTODEATH1~
It has been 6 years, and I gave up trying to tell her about how I feel. I have decided to be a masochist and watch while she falls in love, have her heart broken and mended again by someone new. I will always be her secret protector, her secret savior. I will always be here, secretly loving this beautiful, thoughtful, kind hearted, amazing girl who just happens to be my best friend.
As I'm lying on my bed thinking about whom else but my best friend, I heard her truck at my driveway. I mentally prepared myself as she opened my front door. There was something off about her step, like she was running. I hope she is careful since she is kind of clumsy. She must have had big news to share since she rarely rushed, obviously aware of her disability (tripping over a flat surface). As I sat up on my bed, my door knob turned and it opened.