Bionicle: Mask of Termites!

By Kitanga

Author's Note: Hey all! This is a parody (and hopefully) humorous version of Bionicle: Mask of Light. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Hmm…let's see…E equals I-don't-own-anything. Happy?

The Very First Chapter! A.K.A., The Prologue:

In the time before time, yadda yadda, blah blah blah, okay, let's get on with the story!

"Takua!"

The hip-hot (snigger) castle/fortress/thingy, was alight with loud rap music and Matoran dancing around like hippies and the fun and music was broken by the first line that was supposed to start the story. Everyone pouted and left in slow motion with matoran tripping and falling to the ground everywhere dramatically. After about, say, ten hours, all the extras got off the scene and the director pointed at Jaller, who was by now sunbathing while drinking lemonade and reading a comic book.

"Ahem," coughed the director, tapping his foot impatiently. The Captain of the Guards looked up.

"Oh, sorry. Are we re-shooting scene one?" he asked, evidently baffled. The director glared at him.

"No!"

"Oh!" Jaller blinked. Then he got up and stretched. "Well, then, it's time for me to leave. I have a "How to be a Captain of the Guards while impressing a secret girlfriend" lesson soon." He threw away the lemonade and tucked the comic book under his arm. Then he noticed everyone staring (and in the director's case, glaring) at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

The only response he got was the director bonking his head on a nearby wall.

When the film crew finally got everything under-way, the director was evidently pissed. Now let's see… ah! Here we are! Jaller raced down the steep steps as the script stated and immediately tripped and landed face-first on one of the steps… which was not part of the script. Glaring accusingly at the stairs as if it was their fault, he got up and brushed off the glitter dust left over from the party last night, trying to regain some of his dignity. With that done, he took a mighty step forward…only to trip and land on his face again.

So he got up, and took another brave try. And another. And another. And yet another ten tries. Add another two dozen attempts to that and you have the approximate amount of times Jaller tried… and failed. He tumbled all the way down the steps, always falling on his face. Finally, at the base of the staircase, he got up again, this time, managing to stay on his feet.

"Frell," he muttered and brushed himself off again. With that, he stalked off, muttering curses and other bad things that little kiddies should not hear. Finally, he arrived at a wide lava river and the extremely pretty and colourful thousand-foot Lava Falls. He honestly had no idea why it was called that. He couldn't see a single foot in the fall, let alone a thousand. Did I mention that most characters here in this story are stupid? No? Well, I just did.

And there was Takua! Hopping from rock to rock on the lava while singing ridiculously off-key! Jaller stared in horror as Takua burst into one of his favourite songs. Takua's favourite, not his.

"The hillllllllsssssss are aliiiive with the soooouuuuunnnnddd of MUUUSICCC!!!"

Bursting into tears, the ever-so-strong Captain of the Guards dropped to his knees and begged for mercy. Just then, Takua stopped singing as he noticed the bawling Jaller.

"Oh! Uh, hey Jaller!" he chirped nervously. The Captain glared at him as he got up slowly, the falling-down-the-stairs scene still fresh in his mind.

"What, exactly, are you doing down here Takua? And why are you hopping across lava?" The latter rolled his eyes as he answered back.

"Well, gee, I don't know, maybe to get to the other side?"

"We have a Kolhii-match, remember?"

Takua didn't remember (as usual) but he ignored him and continued on hopping and humming… off-key again… as usual… when he finally reached the other side, he jumped onto the bank and immediately fell on his face. Jaller burst out laughing. Takua glared back at him in return as he struggled to get up.

Then he stepped on an invisible button on the floor which activated a series of fake rumblings which set off some alarms which sent the two matoran flailing around helplessly…and falling to the ground yet again. Gee, this is becoming a habit of theirs, isn't it?

In the end, Takua ended up looking at the lava when POOF! A Great Mask popped up out of the lava!

"Whoa! Jaller, look!" Jaller did so and suddenly shrieked and ran around in circles squealing like a little girl. Takua shook his head sadly.

"He was such a great friend."

Jaller immediately snapped to attention and looked around wildly.

"Who? Who was?" Takua rolled his eyes and reached out to grab the mask…thing…object…as soon as he had it in his hands, thousands of small things swarmed out of the mask. They started biting the Chronicler's hands.

"Ouch! Ooch! Eek! Ack! Ow! Stop it! Please! Termites!" Then there was another rumble. Everyone froze (even the termites). Then a great wall of lava appeared at the other end of the tunnel. Panicking, Takua threw the Mask of Termites across the river…where it bonked Jaller's head.

"Owie-wowie-zowie!" yelled the Captain, clutching his head in pain. "What the heck was that for?!" he glared at the sheepish matoran. "I HATE YOU!" Tears began to form in the Chronicler's eyes.

"Y-you mean-" Takua sniffed. "That you don't like me anymore?" he asked meekly.

"YES!"

Takua immediately jumped up, grinning idiotically.

"GREAT! It's settled then!" He shouted cheerfully. "Here I come to save the day - wait a minute, how do I get across?"

In all the commotion, none of them had noticed that the stones had sunken under the lava. Jaller grinned cheezily.

"When in doubt, you know what to do!" he said, somewhat too cheerfully. Takua looked at him quizzically.

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Swimming, swimming, what do we do? We swim-"

"ARGH! NOW'S NOT THE TIME, JALLER!" Jaller huffed.

"Oh, fine. Be that way!" he snapped angrily.

"Good!"

Then, in another one of his acts of stupidity, Takua took a running start and tried to jump across the river… and promptly failed.

"HELPMEIAMMELTING!" he shrieked as he fell down, down, down towards the lava. Then, with a magical whoosh! Toa Nuva Tahu came and saved the day! Without a warning, the hot-headed Toa we know as Tahu flung the Chronicler onto his back…big mistake. Immediately, the matoran circled his arms around the Toa's neck and held on…hard.

Tahu immediately started choking.

"Let-go-Takua-" he rasped. Noticing what he was doing, Takua reddened (which clashed terribly with his magnificent blue mask, of course) and released his grip… a bit. Tahu sighed.

"That's better," muttered the Toa. He immediately regretted those words. Eyes widening at the sight in front of him, he immediately started yelling.

"Oh NOOO!!! Anything but that!" For lo and behold! They were heading in the direction of the falls! Takua squeaked.

"Reverse! Reverse! Go backwards!" He jumped down behind Tahu's feet on the board, grabbed a random piece of rock and started pedaling like mad. But to no avail. With a loud shout, they shot off of the lava and into the air!

"OH, CRUD!!!"

Author's Note: HAH! Never thought you'd see this story again, eh? I certainly thought so. Until I found it… in my brother's USB!

In relation to the topic at hand, was this slightly revised version all right? Let me know what you think, and I'll post the second chapter. And also the uh… third (I think) of TOD. I posted this instead of that because this one was all ready… ready. Yeah, so adieu for now!