A.N.: So, this story's based off of the song Don't Panic by Coldplay. It doesn't quite flow the way I'd hoped it would, but I still like it. :) Enjoy!
"Kristoff," Anna said, staring at the mountain man. He looked at her blankly, his eyes devoid of any sign of human life.
"Yes, Anna?" His usually happy voice was flat, emotionless, and dull.
"Are you okay?"
They were sitting together in the parlor. Kristoff had his hands folded in his lap, and Anna had a book in her hands. She looked on him with worry.
"Yes. Of course."
"No, you're not," she said, "Tell me what's wrong. Please."
Kristoff just stared at the wood floors. "Nothing's wrong."
"Something's definitely wrong." Anna stated, crossing her arms.
Kristoff looked up at her, eyes softening a little. "Just… tired." Anna doubted it. She bit her lip. He was concealing. She could tell. But she also knew there was truth to his statement. He had a long day harvesting ice and it showed on his face. His eyes had dark circles around them, and every now and then his eyelids would drift closer and closer until he snapped them open.
"Go to bed then." She said softly. He met her eyes with a blurry stare.
"Bed, right…" He mumbled softly to himself. "Bed…"
She kissed him on the cheek and let him go, watching his retreating figure with tears welling up in her eyes. She forced them away and tried in vain to read her book, but it suddenly didn't seem as interesting as it was before.
He never used to be afraid of the night.
Kristoff, in fact, used to love the night. Ice had a certain glow to it in the dark, a certain kind of light that he loved. Night also had a nostalgic feeling about it. He could always see his father, showing him how to harvest ice, under the green glow of the lantern and the Northern Lights above. He could still hear his father's patient, loving, and strong voice. But the night now held dark dreams.
His dreams were strange, never quiet clear in detail, but all-too familiar in the tight feeling in his chest. For the longest time, he couldn't figure out why he felt so fearful of such a blurry dream. One detail came remained his mind. A closed door, a dark closed door, it's image blurred by the tears he was holding back.
Behind that door was Anna.
He knew he should have kissed her when he had the chance. He wished so desperately that he had. He could see her, looking back at him, as if she was leaving something behind. Something important. He could feel it. He could feel the cold wind howling around him as he tried to undo his horrible mistake, only to find that the only human he had loved in such a long time, was gone. She's gone.
She's gone. Her bright blue eyes were gone. The strawberry hair he had wanted to run his fingers through, gone. The freckles, the smile, the only person he had ever loved, gone. Dead, thanks to ice.
Ice is my life.
He almost laughed at the cruel irony of it all. He did, in fact, but his laughter scared him. It wasn't his normal laughter. It was a dry laugh, empty. Waiting for someone to fill it. Waiting for Anna to fill it.
She's gone.
She's not gone. He had to remind himself. She's in her room, sleeping peacefully, probably dreaming of having a tea party in the town square with various animals or something insane like that. She's not gone.
Even though it was incredibly probable she was alive and well, as she was a few hours ago, Kristoff still didn't quite believe it. He wished he were in a room closer to her, so her snoring could at least assure him that she was breathing. But of course, that wouldn't be proper, so he'd have to imagine her steady and noisy breathing.
What if her breathing stopped? The same thought always came to him, no matter how many times he pushed it away. What if, one moment she was alive and well, the next she was dead? He knew it could happen. He'd seen it happen before…
He shoved that thought out of his head. Anna wasn't dead. She was alive, very alive. Very much alive. Breathing. Heart beating. She's alive…
No matter how many ways he reworded the statement, it sounded hollow and dead, like she had been.
He was breathing deeply, but no air could reach his lungs. He tried desperately to regain his sanity, or at least fall asleep. He couldn't. This was normal, though. He would drown in his ocean of thoughts of ice and Anna until morning.
A soft knock at his door pulled him back to the surface. He opened, hoping desperately it was Anna. It wasn't. It was Elsa, her eyes red. He had no doubt that he looked the same way. He could tell she understood. She knew what he was thinking. He thought that maybe she had felt the same way.
He couldn't even imagine the pain Elsa bore everyday. 13 years of damage. He thought it had ended when Anna thawed. No… it unveiled Elsa's heart that had been hidden under sheaths of regality and secrets, but it didn't heal the scars. Scars that would forever be a part of Elsa, a part that she wasn't used to yet. She would always remember listening to her little sister beg her to come out of her room. She would always wince at the word conceal. She would always see her sisters frozen face, knowing that it was her fault. And somehow she had to rule a kingdom.
It wasn't fair. She shouldn't have to bear the burden of a kingdom. She shouldn't have had to be locked up for thirteen years. She shouldn't thought she was a monster. She should have been taught to love, to feel.
But he couldn't do anything about it. What was done was done. He could only watch as Elsa would slowly heal. She gave him a small smile.
"Are you okay?" She somehow found the strength to ask about him.
"Are you?" He asked. She looked down as if considering.
"Yes," she decided. "I'll be fine." Her face softened when she looked back up at Kristoff. "But you need to talk to Anna, don't you?"
He didn't need to answer.
"Go," The Queen said softly.
"Now?" Kristoff said, his voice cracking a bit. He felt his cheeks turn an embarrassing shade of red.
A small smile found it's way on her face. "Yes, now."
He returned the smile. "Thank you," he whispered before dashing down the hall.
Anna heard a knock at her door. She hadn't slept; she had been too busy wondering what Kristoff had been so secretive about. She hated secrets with a passion. They were unspoken, yet had power over everyone. It can cause them to feel ashamed of themselves. It can cause them to hurt themselves. It can cause them to shut everyone else out.
"Who is it?" She asked in a half-whisper. Kristoff entered the room and closed the door behind him.
"Hey," he said awkwardly. His voice sound raw and exposed, a stark contrast to the last time they had spoken. Anna sat up and patted the spot next to her. He sat there. For a while they just let tension hang in the air, sitting a full inch away from each other. Anna wanted desperately to close that gap and hold him and tell him it was all right. But she couldn't, because of the secrets he hid. Anna thought she might go mad.
"When I was a kid," Kristoff started suddenly, "I thought ice was the most beautiful thing in the world. It had a sleek shine to it, almost glowed at night, and was just amazing… I thought I was going to marry it or something," He chuckled a bit. "But then I met you… You were everything ice was… but more. You were – and are – amazing and beautiful and funny," He smiled down at her and she scooted closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "When you froze… I kept on hearing my own stupid words, 'Ice is my life'. Over and over again. I couldn't help thinking it was my fault…"
"Kristoff… you know it wasn't," she said. He smiled again.
"Yes, I know that, but today…" He stopped, took a deep breath and continued, "Someone nearly died while working on the ice. He slipped and nearly froze to death in the water. Luckily, we pulled him out and got a fire going. I couldn't stop thinking that… I work so close to what nearly killed you. What if it happened again? What if there's no 'act of true love' clause to save you? What if… what if you leave me?" Tears started coming down his face like an avalanche.
"I won't. I promise you," she said, wiping his tears.
"You can't promise that." He choked out. He had a point, she couldn't tell her she'd never die. She had to die sometime.
"You're right, I can't. I can't promise that tomorrow I'll be alive. But we're here, together now. And that's all that matters, right? For now, we're infinite." She said.
"That's a contradictory statement." He stated, still hiccupping. She smiled, knowing there was nothing else she could say. She took his hand.
Bones, sinking like stones, all that we fought for, she began singing.
Homes, places we've grown, all of us are done for. His hiccups began getting slower and his breathing was evening out at the soothing sound of her voice.
And we live in a beautiful world, yeah we do… They laid down on the bed, Kristoff's arm around Anna. He was stroking her hair.
Bones sinking like stones all that we fought for,
Homes, places we've grown, all of us are done for… Kristoff found himself joining in on the refrain, their voices intertwining.
We live in a beautiful world,
We live in a beautiful world…
The sun was rising outside, but their eyes were closing as they drifted into their subconscious. Anna smiled tiredly and sang the last line and let it's words hang comfortably in the air.
Oh, all that I know, there's nothing here to run from,
Cuz' everyone here's got somebody to lean on…
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review and favorite! :) Song: Don't Panic by Coldplay