A/N: Orginally started as a one-shot for a friend of mine, the story is expanding somewhat. Enjoy it!

Wag the Dog

By: VincentM

"This is turning out surprisingly well."

Fox glanced over at her husband, who was relaxing on the couch in the main hall, a glass of brandy in his hand. Fox, for her part, was carrying a crumb-filled tray that used to have some breaded shrimp-things on it, which turned out tasting better than she expected. Broadway had about an equal number of hits and misses as far as cooking went, but this time he succeeded. That was a huge relief to the blue gargoyle, since he'd made them as part of Elisa's birthday celebration.

"What's your definition of 'well'?" Fox asked, setting the tray on the coffee table and sitting down next to David.

David took a sip of his brandy. "No explosions, no vengeful gargoyles shooting up the place, the castle, its occupants, and its guests are completely intact, and nobody's tried to throw me off the highest turret. All in all, I'd call that a success."

"Works for me."

Fox reached out and snatched the glass of brandy from David's hand, taking a sip of it herself before curling up against his side. Her head turned to look at their guests, still gathered around the buffet table on the far side of the room. The entire Maza family, including Derek, otherwise known as Talon, and his wife Maggie, were present, laughing and talking over the remaining breaded shrimp-things and the as of yet uncut birthday cake, only occasionally shooting the two of them an icy stare or six. The gargoyles also seemed to be enjoying themselves and had even gotten Goliath to go in with them on a game of charades earlier in the evening. That had been a riot.

"Thanks for all of this, you guys," Elisa said, giving Broadway a big hug for his part in making the food.

"Aw, it was nothing Elisa," Broadway said, blushing slightly.

"Aye, lass." Hudson reached out a hand and patted her shoulder. "It's not every day someone turns thirty. T'was quite an accomplishment back in the time when I was a hatchling."

"Not so much now," Beth said, giggling. Fox suspected she'd taken in a little too much of the champagne. "Now you're just over the hill."

"You'll get yours someday," Elisa replied dryly, swatting her sibling on the side of the head. "Don't think I won't remember all the jokes." She looked down at the massive birthday cake, which had two over-sized candles shaped like her age. "I guess we should light this baby up and serve it before the sun comes up."

"And we get to sing," Lexington said excitedly from where he was perched on the back of a chair.

Brooklyn grimaced and rubbed his head. "Yeah. Great. You get to sing."

"Wait a minute." Broadway looked around the room in confusion. "Where did Matt go?"

"Thought he was here a second ago." Elisa frowned, twirling the lighter she'd picked up.

"I believe he said he needed to go make use of the... facilities," Goliath intoned, tripping just a little over the not often used word. "Perhaps he lost his way in the castle."

"Let's split up and find him then," Derek said, unwrapping his arms from around Maggie's waist. "I want to eat that cake."

"You don't need that cake," Maggie chided, poking him in the stomach.

Fox watched all of this exchange from her respectable distance. She grinned at David, elbowing him in the side. He took his brandy back in revenge.

"One lost guest," he said, swirling his drink. "Even with that, this night has been remarkably peaceful. I'm willing to overlook one mishap."

"Hopefully he really is lost and not poking around trying to find something out," Fox replied.

Before David could reply, the sound of tiny socked feet on the cold stone floor shuffled toward them from behind. Both David and Fox turned around and saw Alexander, smiling brightly as he toddled toward them, his red hair a little mussed up from sleeping in his bed, where Owen had supposedly tucked him in a few hours ago before making himself scarce to finish some paperwork. Alex was carrying something and he held it up, grinning.

"Puppy!" he cried, holding up the squirming dog. It was a golden retriever, dark gold, almost red in color, and if Fox didn't know any better, she could have sworn the dog looked somewhat put-out.

"David," she hissed accusingly under her breath, smacking her husband on the arm. "You got him a dog?" It was well-known that Fox didn't care for dogs, or any pets for that matter that couldn't be kept in a cage. Aside from the mess they made, they tended to make her sneeze.

"Not at all," David replied, but he was smiling, beckoning his son over, who crawled up on the couch between them, setting the puppy on his lap. It looked up at them with baleful, accusing eyes, a strange expression for a dog to have, especially a puppy. "Alex, where did you get the dog?"

"Made him," Alex said in his broken, toddler-version of English.

"I suppose that explains that." David picked up the puppy, which squirmed a little, then sighed, giving up once it realized it wasn't going to get free. "Have you thought of a name, yet?"

"David, we're not keeping it," Fox warned him under her breath, but David clearly wasn't listening.

"He's got one," Alex said, reaching out his chubby arms. David handed the dog back. "S'name is Matt!"

Fox's eyes widened in alarm and she stared at the dog, then at Alex, then at her husband. She'd hoped David would be just as horrified as she was, but instead he'd dissolved in a fit of undignified giggles. Glaring, she grabbed the brandy away from him, determined to pour it down the sink, and leapt to her feet.

"I'm going to find Owen before Elisa, the gargoyles, and her family attack us," she said quickly.

"At least we know he's not poking around in places he doesn't belong." David was still snickering and Fox resisted the urge to smack him in front of their child.

"Keep puppy!" Alex declared firmly, running his hand along Matt's fur in the wrong direction.

"Sure, why not?" David said with a shrug.

Fox decided to smack him anyway.