A/N: Because it's light, new and fun.
HatShipping
Lion Hat/Sorting Hat
"ROAR!"
Not again. Not again. No, dear Sorting Hat, you didn't hear that properly, that bloody hat didn't – and I repeat didn't – just roar again. Tell it to yourself as much as you want to, but it did roar again and you did hear it. It is a mystery, a true mystery how your so cunning, sharp eye ever fell on that stupid, dumb roaring hat.
"ROAR!"
Tell it to stop, why don't you just tell it to stop? After all, you're the Sorting Hat; you're the Hat of all Hats in the world! Or in Hogwarts, but you're the Hat! You're old, wise and mostly when you open your mouth you have something to say, not just something to roar like that dumb hat in front of you. Maybe it would be fun to be a dumb hat, to have nothing to think about all the time, just stare and be stupid.
"ROAR!"
Yes, Sorting Hat, the song, you have to think of the song for next… one of its manes lays wrong. God, you can't even focus anymore. Maybe you aren't worth it to be the Sorting Hat anymore, after all, what sorting hat falls in love? With a dumb hat. Roar here, roar there, it would be a very short and boring marriage, that's for sure. And with very interesting conversations, if you can say so.
"ROAAARRR!"
Sigh. Nothing else to do but to sigh is there? If you had hands you could smack it over the head and tell it to shut the hell up. Well, to stop roaring the hell up – or something like that. You can't even think properly anymore, not sure if you are a sorting hat. Even just a bad one. You could place Salazar Slytherin in Gryffindor now, just like you had placed Peter Pettigrew in Gryffindor.
"ROOOARRRRRR!"
It yellow eyes just stare dumbly at you. It isn't because he wants to look at you, but it's because his eyes can't move and it's placed so it looks at you. They constantly seem quite sad, the whole hat seems a little sad, his teeth hanging over the edge of the shelf.
"Roar!"
It's quieter and you sight softly, happy even. Finally some rest before it starts at the top of its voice again. You relax and you crumble a little. Switching your brain on the song again, on the other hand, still doesn't work. Your brain keeps hanging with the, now distant, roars.
"ROAR!"
Oh, darn! It has started again... It isn't normal anymore, is it? How the hell can a hat keep yelling… well, screaming, roaring, whatevering like that. And you sight way too much to be healthy. You hope it loses his voice, but it doesn't and it'll never will. Magical stuff can be so annoying sometimes.
"Roar!"
Can you? Can you join in with what you despise? Can you make clear what you never want to make clear? Propably not, but your heart – do you even have that? The tip of your hat takes over from whatever that's under it and thinks.
"Roar?" Oh dear.