Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto or its characters. It'd be called Shikamaru if I did.
This was entirely random and inspired from crack. Yay crack. Not literal crack jackass.
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Sakura sat in her house, throwing its contents around like a complete retard. Sasuke had just denied her. AGAIN! How could he do such a thing to such a lovely lady like her whom talks to roaches and uses doggy shampoo with a side of mayonnaise!? He was insane I tell you! INSANE! It was like Orochimaru on crack, working at sonic, bald, repeating that Michael Jordan shaved his head and tattooed his ass! This happened just last week, actually. Sasuke was with him repeating that everyone in the world was a noob with a newbie side effect. They then sung that son g. You k now. "I am a tea pot short and stout…" That one.
Maybe she should start going out with Lee or Neji! That'd piss Sasuke off for sure! Then again, Neji tripped that one time and touched Tenten's ass. He was a manwhore, so fuck no. And Lee had that eating disorder where Taco's were unavoidable. Naruto had that other eating disorder. No, not ramen. It was more like Chocolate covered peanut butter and salt crickets with a side of onions. The onions were good; to bad the cricket was wiggly. And its legs would twitch uncontrollably. Weird.
And frankly, Hinata wasn't only a lesbian… She also read Yaoi. Just last week she read a very graphic Aizen and Ichimaru fic then wrote a "Nice" little novel about Tenten and Ino. Ino and Tenten were sure pissed, but later agreed to making the moving starring as themselves.
Sakura sighed, she had gone into a completely different thing there. Flipping on her radio, Weird Al came on singing something about Thongs. Sakura was so shocked, she died and came back as a zombie two days later in an attempt to layer a cake screaming "I'm gun eat that hairy leg." This eventually scared the Konoha residents into running onto the Jaws set. They became a part of the Jaws movie, they were the water. The healthy, healthy water with a sharky side effect. After that, the abandoned Konoha turned into Lesbo Town and was filled with chocolate pudding. Yum.
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Pure randomness and boredom. KTHXBAI