A short oneshot for Henry's reflection after they find out what happened to Abigail Morgan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Forever, just playing with the characters.
XX
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understanding
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am..." -Iris ~Goo Goo Dolls
XXXxxxx
The funeral seemed to be a blur. Jo held his hand and he held his sons. He could not tell Jo and it hurt him. He could not fully grieve for the loss of his wife even though the feelings boiled inside him. The strain real as the tears slid down his cheeks. Abraham let the tears flow freely. Grieving for his mother and squeezing his hand so tight he thought it would break. She'd died protecting them and it made his heart ache.
Jo's words echoed in his head who was she to you? The hint of accusation, the question laced with a type of pain. Henry wished he could tell her the truth. Wished he could fully grieve for his lost love. Abigail was a wondrous woman and now he didn't know if he could share his life with anyone else even though he really wanted to. Soon the service came to an end, the casket sunk beneath the earth and he wanted to follow it, wanted to embrace the death he so deserved to reunite with her. Out of all the ways he had died and come back, this felt the worst.
It felt like his soul was dying, a light being put out with no way to be rekindled. A fire, snuffed in its prime. Henry held onto Abe, putting his head in his sons shoulder and finally letting the tears fall in rapid succession. He felt weak and unstable, unable to hold it in any longer.
"Henry." Abe whispered. "Jo is staring at you."
"I know, Abe. I just need to collect myself." Henry replied whilst keeping his face hidden. "I don't know what to say to her. She asks questions that I cannot answer."
"She's going to find out eventually." His son pressed. "You're going to have to tell her soon."
"I know."
Xxxxxxx
That night he sat in his lab staring at the wall. What more could he do? He thought that he had finally let her go only to find what had really happened to her all those years ago. The wound reopened and fresh. They could've still been a family, still could've had something special, yet here he sat in a pile of his own misery.
"Dad...you need to do something other than stare at the wall."
"I know, Abe. I've lost her all over again."
"Well, Jo's upstairs asking about you. I don't think you should ignore her." His son walked up the stairs and he felt like it was time to face the music. Should he keep up the lie or tell her the truth. Both options would result in losing her company forever. He didn't know if he could trust her with his secret. Yet as he climbed the stairs and saw her standing in the living room he thought maybe she could handle it one day and maybe he could learn to love again...