Is it starting…?

"Chizuru…" Souji mumbled. Thoughts on the girl had been lingering in his mind all night. Her smile, her voice, her hands - all those distracted him. The fact that she was in the kitchen supposedly preparing watermelons for him did not help.

Every aspect of Chizuru was fascinating to him. From the way she walked to how she always cares for the members of Shinsengumi. It was clear that she was a big help. Chizuru made life ever more convenient for the other captains. Souji was satisfied just by watching her from afar.

Nobody, nobody, is aware

For the sake of this love to be born again

I have now become a quivering butterfly

The city was having its annual lantern festival and Hijikata had prohibited Souji from attending. 'You're clearly sick' and 'someone has to defend the compound' were his reasonings, though Souji felt that the former was really the only reason. Yamazaki was lurking around somewhere afterall. Souji overheard him say that he would remain. There was also the fact that not all the soldiers went for the festivities.

Hijikata was clearly treating him like an invalid.

Either way, even Chizuru herself had volunteered to stay behind and look after him. The girl was adamant that he stay in his futon to rest while she was bringing them watermelons. Not that he particularly mind. It gave him time to sort out his thoughts on the girl - and also leave the futon to stare at the stars for a bit. Hijikata was obviously unaware of Souji's budding feelings towards the girl.

With each passing day Souji could feel his emotions threatening to slip from his control. That was another reason why he kept his teasing to a minimum. Although he could see more of the different faces Chizuru makes, he himself was starting to show more expressions than he would like.

He could not bear the thought of showing her his uncool side. Just recently she witnessed him having another one of his blood coughing episode. He made her worry unnecessarily again. Oh how badly he wanted to just hide away in his room all week. His illness aside, the girl was seeing too many of the faces he make, even those that he didn't know he could make.

Revealing his illness was the last thing he wanted. Hijikata was likely to ban him from fighting, Kondou would do something for his treatment (which would also lead to no fighting) and Chizuru… the poor girl would weep. Or something along those lines. Souji was not too sure, her personality might get volatile at times.

The flowers' fragrance is frightening, intoxicatingly sweet

My heart melts... I can't explain it

Wait, don't discover me this quickly

"Okita-san, I'm back," Chizuru opened the door, bringing with her a plate of freshly cut watermelons. Souji turned his head to stare at her.

"Okita-san! You should remain in bed!" Chizuru scolded. She left the watermelon near the door and walked towards Souji. "Really, you should rest to regain your strength."

"Chizuru-chan, I'm quite comfortable here," Souji protested. "Why don't you join me instead? I can at least stargaze right?" If he could not join in the festivities, the least he could do was to watch it from afar. He should be allowed that much.

Chizuru was silent.

Was it pity? Or perhaps she just did not want to argue. Souji frowned. Treated as an invalid. And that was only under the assumption he was up against a common cold. He really wondered what Chizuru would do once she found out he has tuberculosis. It was something he can't hide for much longer. The only way was for him to somehow die, hopefully heroically, in battle.

She liked him. Souji knew that she had grown fond of him. Why else would she choose to stay back with him? If she wanted to, she could join the others. Souji was relieved that Chizuru cared for him, yet he felt guilty for making her want to remain with him. In the first place, why would Souji even bother with what she thinks? It was his life, not hers.

Somehow Souji's endless teasing had helped forged a stronger bond between them. Strong enough for Souji to genuinely care for her wellbeing, as much as he wanted to deny it.

It's strange (It's strange) It's strange (It's strange) A strangely hot sigh

Can be a little bit passionate

Chizuru didn't seem to have any complaints with letting Souji stargaze. She went back to the plate of watermelons and presented them to him. She took one slice and offered it to Souji.

"Here," Chizuru handed him a medium sized slice, a smile plastered on her face. "This should help you regain your strength."

Souji widened his eyes at that sight. Here she was, smiling brightly to him. Her face looked brighter under the moonlight. It gave off a heavenly aura, as if she was a goddess from the moon who descended to earth specifically for him.

"Okita-san?" Chizuru called. Souji's reply was the slight tilt of his head, his gaze still locked on Chizuru's visage.

His arms shot out and grabbed Chizuru's wrists, pulling her closer towards Souji. He leaned in closer such that his face was directly above the watermelon that she held. He gently moved his hands such that they were on top of Chizuru's rather than her wrist.

"Just 'Souji' is fine," Souji said as he took a bite of the watermelon.

Affection towards family wasn't something foreign to him, but affection towards a woman is. Bloodlust was really the only type of lust he ever felt. That was, until Chizuru appeared.

The watermelon somehow managed to remain in Chizuru's hands despite them trembling. Though maybe it was because Souji's larger hands were supporting them. A blush was also evident on her face, Souji never left his eyes on her as he ate the watermelon. His never faltering gaze remained as he took several more bites of the watermelon. Chizuru merely stared at him in shock. Or was it embarrassment? In a way, she was feeding him. Maybe she must have realised that.

Chizuru's lips were slightly parted, a sign that she was most likely shocked. Souji fixed his gaze onto her lips as he emitted a low growl.

Fluttering about in a dream, the romantic within me

Is feeling lost upon its first awakening

Somehow it isn't bad

Souji pondered over the new sensation. He wondered how Chizuru would react if he just pushed her down onto the futon and had his way with her. Those inviting lips, coupled with her longing gaze drove him to the edge.

What he felt was definitely not bloodlust, Souji understood that. Even he knew the basics of sexual reproduction. Rather, he would have to be an idiot not to. Primal urges come naturally after all. Souji just chose to satisfy it through other, more satisfactory means: killing.

Lust for blood and lust for a woman were two different things, yet it was the same. "Lust" was simply an strong desire for something. Men simply refer to lust for women as "lust" too often, so the word was too commonly associated to sexual desire. Most men lust for women anyway. Few prefer spilling blood over women.

And Souji was one of them. He was by no means a virgin - how else would he have a definite preference of blood over women - but that one time Sano had lectured them on women, he mentioned something about the difference between treating your wife and an oiran. Something about emotions. He didn't pay attention, didn't ever think he'd ever fall in love with anyone.

Making love with Chizuru ought to be pleasant for both of them, not just him. As for Chizuru, was she alright with it? As much as Souji wanted nothing more than to ravage her, consent was vital when it came to a lover. He could always start with a kiss. Chizuru's lips were quite inviting.

Letting things go slowly would only let him savour every moment.

Fluttering about in a dream, it's all embarrassing

But that's no good

Come on, you have no choice but to try and fly

The watermelon was down to its rind. Souji didn't even realise that he kept eating it.

"A-ah, I'll get you another one," Chizuru stated. She placed the rind on the plate, breaking the physical contact between them. Souji noted that her hands were still shaking.

Souji himself was still flustered from earlier. Hiding his feelings from her might prove to be a challenge soon. If they were strong enough, he might end up drowning in his feelings, doing things he never thought he would towards her. His earlier thoughts were a proof of that.

How good it would feel to love freely, Souji wondered. Without the fear of dying so soon. Any normal, healthy civilian would be able to feel that. But Souji was a samurai, an ill one at that. He had his duties. The closest thing he had to a wife was his sword. While he treats his sword nicely, wiping the blood of the fallen off of it and ensuring it is well sharpened, treating a woman is different.

There was also the fact that Chizuru was younger than him. Chances are, she has no experience in romance. There was nothing wrong with having zero experience though. Nothing wrong with liking a person seriously for the first time.

Romance was uncharted territory for Souji. But maybe, just maybe, for Chizuru, he was willing to take that first step.

"Chizuru," Souji called.

Chizuru turned around abruptly. Cupping his hand on her chin, Souji leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead. Love, anxiety and happiness rushed over him like a tidal wave as his lips made contact with her forehead. He remained in that position for a few seconds, basking in the glory of the first step towards his path of romance.

It was on a whim, but Souji was glad that he made the first move. Or maybe the first move was when he boldly ate the watermelon from her hands. That was what led to him kissing her in the first place.

Souji pulled back when he felt satisfied by the kiss.

"Did I scare you?" Souji asked, noting how silent Chizuru was.

"Oki-"

"Souji."

"S-souji-san…" Chizuru muttered. Her eyes were glued onto the floor, too shy to even look at him.

"Heh, sorry. You were just too cute I couldn't resist," Souji said. "I like you." It was barely even a whisper.

"What…?" Chizuru looked confused.

"I like you," Souji said, louder.

"I… uh, Souji-san," Chizuru was at a loss for words.

The distance between them was shortened excessively when Souji pulled her into a hug.

"You don't have to say anything, Chizuru. Just accept me…" Souji mumbled.

Hearing that, Chizuru wordlessly wrapped her arms around Souji, her head resting on his chest. Souji tightened his hold on her, as if she would disappear if he didn't.

They were both neophytes when it came to romance. It was a perfect opportunity for both of them to test the waters. No matter the outcome, Souji would always know Chizuru as the woman who managed to steal his heart, the woman he loved.

I want to watch this fluttering dream, this heart pounding dream