Chapter One
Acknowledgement: I own nothing to do with the Hobbit characters or stories.
Summary:
Fili had found love in the Blue Mountains only to lose it due to a mistake his brother made. Now he is burdened with a betrothed he did not want, the youngest of the Brothers Ri. Only things are not as they seem, as they all discover on the journey to Erebor.
Chapter One
Yori, sibling of Ri found himself somewhat flabbergasted as Bilbo Baggins, the company's Hobbit dragged him down the hall towards the bathing room. The group had been at Master Beorn's home, a shape shifter, since the night before. Their host was graciously allowing them a week to recuperate from their run in with the Goblins and Orcs. He had been waiting for the others to be occupied elsewhere before he attempted a run at the bathtub and had just been planning to slip off when the Hobbit decided for him.
Which confused him. He knew the Hobbit had already bathed along with the rest of their group. Also, he had thought he had fallen in with the rest of the company in their treatment of him, though he was far more polite about it.
All too soon he found himself practically thrown into the room, Bilbo closing and locking the door behind them. The Hobbit then checked one of the tubs mumbling about the temperature of the water before going to the nearby fireplace where a kettle already waited with heated water.
"Um… Master Baggins…" Yori was cut off.
"Don't just stand there, young lady. Strip and get into the tub," he commanded easily.
However Yori was too shocked to move. Wide green eyes streaked with amber stared at the little male.
"How did you…"?
He paused in his work to stare at her half in amusement half in exasperation. "Of course I could tell. It's in the way you walk and the way you fight; far too smooth and lithe for a male. Even Nori, who is close in stature to you doesn't move that way." He huffed at her continued look of surprise. "Look I know it's supposed to be some secret, but it isn't really that difficult to tell. Why the rest of you didn't bother to tell me is ridiculous…"
"They don't know," she cut him off hoarsely.
"Beg pardon?" Now it was his turn to look shocked.
"The others, aside from my brothers, have no idea I'm a female," she admitted quietly.
"How can they not… I mean sure, the disguise is pretty convincing." He waved at her outfit, from her fake wig of dark brown hair down to the slightly overlarge shoes stuffed with extra layers of clothing to make her size look bigger than it was. "But it's obvious… I thought they treated you so indifferently because they were trying to respect your space."
Yori snorted. "Uh, no. They do that for an entirely different reason. One that is somewhat complicated."
"I see," he muttered after a moment. "Well, you can tell me about it as you bath, and while I check your wounds."
"But!"
"No buts," he snapped wagging his finger at her dangerously. "I know you were hurt, and I know no one else has looked you over, which I find highly unsavory. So do what I say fauntling!"
"Yes sir," she yelped slightly rushing to get the oversized clothing off. It took some doing but she managed to undo the outer layers, unwrap the extra padding that made her look far larger than her true body. She then stripped off the pants and added padding there along with her boots. Last came the horsehair wig that was an unflattering color the strands looking coarse and unappealing.
The Hobbit studied her true form, noting it was quite small and slim with lean muscle, though from Bilbo's perspective she could use more weight. Her breasts were well formed and a decent size, though she kept them bound for practicality, unlike many of his Hobbit cousins who sometimes used bindings to push them up. Her skin was smooth, though several bruises and a few scars marred it. Her real hair was a color Bilbo had never seen before. It was a mixture of bright and deep reds with strands of gold running through it, almost taking the appearance of living fire. It was held back by several braids, most likely to make wearing the wig easier. He did find it interesting that she had no beard to speak of, when Gloin could go on for hours about his wife's facial hair. Instead she had worn a fake one connected to the wig. By Hobbit standards she looked exceptionally beautiful, and would have no limit of suitors. But he had no idea of Dwarf standards of beauty. Still, he had gathered she was quite young yet, not even having reached majority.
Handing her a rag and some soap he pushed her towards the tub. "Just make sure your head is turned to me and I will undo your braids for you," he instructed.
Yori did as told and stepped into the heated water, sighing happily as she submerged until only her shoulders and head remained above water. She used this time to remove her small clothes since Bilbo would not see anything 'sensitive' at this point. Taking the sliver of soap she lathered up the rag and started scrubbing away the months of dirt clinging to her body.
In the meantime Bilbo started working on undoing her braids, something usually reserved for family but since they were also on the 'ignore-Yori' bandwagon she wouldn't mention it to anyone.
"Now explain to me why the others have treated you so poorly if not downright ignored you for the entirety of this trip," he ordered calmly.
XOXOXO
Outside of the bathing room Thorin Oakenshield stood by the door pausing when he heard the Hobbit speaking with that member of their company. He had planned to go in there and save the poor Hobbit from the other when a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to find Balin shaking his head and motioning him to stay quiet. Frowning he did as asked, surprised when he heard Bilbo demand the reason for his treatment.
He wondered if the cur would be honorable enough to answer truthfully.
XOXOXO
Outside of the bathhouse, underneath the one window Kili sat with Fili planning to prank him while he bathed. However, they had not expected Mr. Baggins to be inside too. Fili motioned for an abort of their mission but Kili shook his head indicating they should listen.
Above them on the roof Nori sat, watching the two upstarts. He had been about to thwart whatever they planned for his sibling, even if technically he was to look the other way, when he too heard the demand for an explanation. He wondered if the Hobbit could do what not even Dori had been able to.
XOXOXO
Sighing heavily Yori leaned back in the tub, enjoying the feeling of fingers freeing her hair from its confines. "As you may or may not know there are several kingdoms of Dwarves. All of them stem from one of the seven Dwarf lines. The line of Durin, which his majesty and the princes hail from, is the last pure blood line that can directly trace its way back to the original seven. However, the other lords have ties to those lines if indirectly. Now you would think this would afford his majesty more respect and power among the other kingdoms, but after the loss of Erebor and the battle of Azanulbizar, they pretty much only afforded him the basic of basics his station truly deserves. And sadly his standing politically is nearly next to nothing.
The 'lords' in their 'kindness' allowed him to take our clan to Ered Luin in the Blue Mountains. There we made a home, but it is not the safest of strongholds. Still, his majesty and his family stood by their people and worked just as hard as even the lowliest peasant to keep the settlement alive," she explained softly, unaware that her voice carried to those outside of the room. "Now, while his position had lost much, the blood of Durin is highly coveted. The princes and his majesty have had no shortage of 'suitors' coming for their hand in marriage. Most just want the blood of Durin in their family, and the possibility of great treasure should one of the lost kingdoms ever be regained. Thankfully, his majesty has a naturally grumpy disposition and scared most if not all of his suitors off, while the boys had their mother acting as a shield. The Lady Dis is a formidable woman."
"You sound like you admire her," Bilbo commented absently as he worked a few tangles out of her curls, reminded of many of his cousins.
"I do. She is a very strong female, one any Dwarrowdam should hope to be like," she agreed. "But you definitely do not want to cross her."
"Intimidating?"
"Let me put it this way… Smaug doesn't scare me half as much as Lady Dis does," she stated dryly.
XOXOXO
All of the Dwarves listening in to the conversation found themselves agreeing with the statement.
XOXOXO
"Sounds like some of my relatives," he chuckled. "Go on."
"So, sure enough a Dwarrowdam came along and Prince Fili fell head-over-heals in love."
"I'm guessing that wasn't you."
"Clearly." She continued on, taking time to scrub at some of the more persistent dirt. "Her name was Talia, claiming to be from the kingdom in the Grey Mountains. She arrived with a delegation of lords from there. She is everything a Dwarrowdam should be. Beautiful golden hair, thick beard, full figure. Picture perfect and everyone started to fall for her, pleased as punch that Prince Fili had found his 'match'."
Bilbo paused in his combing. "There is no such thing as perfect. She was acting wasn't she?"
"She was," Yori confirmed.
XOXOXO
Kili had to hold Fili down to keep him from jumping in there and harming Yori in defense of his lost love; too curious to see where this was going.
Nori frowned in thought remembering the girl in question. Had he missed something? Then again he had been on a lot of missions gathering information.
Thorin stared hard at Balin who simply gazed back at him, confirming the boy's words were truth. What had happened in his kingdom without his knowledge?
XOXOXO
"This next bit will never ever reach Dori's ears or he'll kill me, understood?" She turned slightly waiting for the Hobbit to agree before settling back and pushed forward. "I've always dressed this way. It was easier since our family never had much. Mum died shortly after I was born, having grown weak from the birth. I know they say they don't but in some ways my brothers blame me. It's alright." She waved off his concerned noise. "I blame myself too. In any case I was clothed in hand-me-downs and lots of layers to keep me warm. I was always a bit small for my age. I also think my brothers didn't really know how to raise me with mum gone. But I knew from a young age we weren't well off, so I started wearing the wig, and finding work as an errand boy or just doing odd jobs to help supplement the household income. I know Dori thought most of it came from Nori, and he'd have a fit if he knew I was working instead of out playing or going to my lessons. Not that I didn't," she assured the other. "It's just, I usually finished faster than my peers so I left to be productive."
"And since you were nowhere near you majority this would have looked badly on them," he concluded.
"Yeah. You would think others would understand the need to help one's family, but tradition is so thick in our culture that no one dares to bend it. But because everyone thought I was an orphan, no one cared. Had they known I had a family they wouldn't have let me work." She snorted derisively. "Back to the story. One night I was running errands for one of the taverns. And it was not in the best part of town. Anyway, I noticed Talia wondering around, heading to one of the back rooms via the alleyway. Now for me to be there, no big deal. For Dwalin to be there, also not a big deal. For Talia, a 'lady' to be in this area of town at this tavern, is a very big deal. I kept thinking the prince would just die if anything happened to her, and I figured she had to be lost so I followed her to keep her safe. Next thing I know she's greeting this huge scary Dwarf, that would make Dwalin look like a teddy bear. Imagine my surprise when he turns in the light and I see none other than Kar'ck son of Var'ck."
XOXOXO
Fili froze in his struggles startled eyes meeting Kili's. Both knew exactly who that was, having been warned repeatedly and learning of his actions on several occasions. If what Yori said was the truth…
Nori almost slipped off his perch shocked at what he had learned so far. Oh he'd known his baby sister had helped supplement the funds of the house, in a much more legal manner than himself. But for her to be working in that district! And it could only be that district as Kar'ck would not risk being seen anywhere else. Closing his eyes he pinched the bridge of his nose. What had his little sister gotten into and why had she felt she could not tell him?
Thorin's glare grew ten-fold as he stared at Balin, who had clearly known of the incident. Why had he not told him Kar'ck was seen in Ered Luin? That bane was a danger to his people! He had a duty to protect them… Oh Mahal…
XOXOXO
"From your tone of voice I take it this Kar'ck is a very bad character," Bilbo asked gently before directing her forward and having her dunk her head in the water to wet her hair.
"Yes. The worst. He is an enemy of the entire Dwarrow nation. He is known as a kin slayer and extremely dishonorable," she stated seriously. "He is banned from all of the Dwarven Kingdoms. However, they can't always keep him out and he has more power than one would expect." She paused. "What's that smell?"
"Honeysuckle. Don't worry, we all used the same shampoo," he assured her before continuing to wash her locks. "So what happened next?"
"Well I hid in the shadows like Nori taught me, trying to figure out why Talia would ever talk to Kar'ck. Turns out he is her father. He's been grooming her to find a rich husband, or one with better blood…"
"And while the Durins were no longer rich, having Fili as her husband would give him more clout politically, while at the same time lowering Thorin's status," Bilbo finished with a tired sigh of understanding. "This is why Hobbits detest politics."
Yori hummed in agreement relaxing under his skilled fingers. Really it had been too long since she washed her hair properly.
"So what did you do then?"
"Well, after listening to the whole plan I ran to find someone I knew would be able to take care of this without causing a political disaster, since technically Talia was with the nobility from the Grey Mountains." When he grunted in query she expounded. "Lady Dis."
XOXOXO
Nori would have been insulted, but he really couldn't be. Dis was the best person to handle such an issue.
Fili and Kili just sat shocked at the information. But surely Yori was lying to their Hobbit. Right?
Thorin rubbed his fingers against his temples trying to stave off the headache that was building. It didn't help that Bifur and Gloin had joined them along with Dwalin. Thankfully they remained silent, too interested in the story to say anything.
XOXOXO
"I'm actually surprised at how fast I found her. Thankfully she was only with one other person because the moment I saw her I just blurted the whole thing out," she chuckled in remembrance. "I'm sure I sounded like a complete idiot but she listened to me. Of course she calmed me down and had me repeat everything in an understandable fashion, but she still listened. It was one of the few times anyone actually listened to me…"
"What about the other Dwarf with her," Bilbo asked. "What if it had been a delegate from the Grey Mountains?"
"Yeah, I got scolded for that, but it was Master Balin, so I lucked out," she cheerfully replied dunking her hair under the water to wash out the soap when he told her to.
XOXOXO
The three dwarves outside the bathhouse silently resolved to speak to a certain advisor.
Thorin and the others just stared at said dwarf, who simply nodded to vouch for the words being spoken. A cold feeling started to sweep through Thorin's stomach.
XOXOXO
"So what happened next," Bilbo urged amazed at the story unfolding before him. It almost seemed like something from one of his novels.
"Well, Lady Dis and Master Balin advised me to lay low and say nothing until they confirmed the information. It was a few days later when I was summoned. I'm not sure how but they verified everything I had told them. Apparently Kar'ck wanted his daughter to marry Prince Fili, and then he could use her marriage to his gain politically, as well as siphon funds from a few businesses. And once they had a child Prince Fili would meet with an 'unfortunate accident'. It was all very elaborate," she explained. "The worst part was Prince Fili had already given her an intention gift. It's something given to one you intend to court, once given only the receiver can end the suit. For the giver to end the suit would be extremely dishonorable and Prince Fili, even if he found out the truth, would be stuck."
"Because such a dishonor would hurt his family's already shaky status," the Hobbit concluded.
"Exactly. However, there are ways to break it but only if the giver or a member of his family perform a great insult and the giver is forced to make amends with the insulted party. Now, it has to be a very serious offense, but there is a even trickier part. In order to make Talia and her father believe that Prince Fili truly had nothing to do with the insult, we had to make Prince Kili the one who caused the insult."
"Then wouldn't Kili be the one to need to make amends?"
"No. You see Prince Kili is the youngest. Only the family head, or the eldest male can make amends with the wronged party," she stated plainly. "Lady Dis planned for the 'event' to happen when King Thorin was away, so that Prince Fili would have to be the one to make the amends on Prince Kili's behalf. She said she didn't want her foolish brother to ruin her carefully made plans."
At Bilbo's raised brow she revised her statement. "Okay, that's not exactly what she said, but if I repeat the words she used and Dori finds out I will be eating soap for a month."
XOXOXO
Balin chuckled as he remembered exactly what had been said, while the others grinned at Thorin already guessing the words his dear sister used.
Fili and Kili didn't know whether to be thankful or insulted that their mother had pulled such a trick on them. Why not tell them? Why go through such a complicated plot?
Nori sighed heavily. He should have known Yori would never have come up with such a plan. She preferred simple and straight, not this ridiculous puzzle of a mess.
XOXOXO
"I don't see why she didn't just tell the boys about this plan of hers…"
"Please, have you seen their acting? Neither one of them could lie their way out of a sack," she stated dryly, mollified when he nodded in agreement. (Pretty much all of those listening did the same)
"So what was the insult?"
"I'm not going to go into it, because it is not pretty and I don't want you to think poorly of Prince Kili. It's just he strongly takes after the Durin side of his family in his temper. It's hot, fast and volatile and often he says or does things before fully thinking it through."
"So just like his uncle." (The elder Dwarves chuckled at the King's affronted look.)
"Needless to say the insult given only had three ways to amend it, and yes there are written laws for this sort of thing." A grin took over at his incredulous look. "You saw how thorough Master Balin's contract was. Do you really think our laws would not be just as methodical?"
"Point."
"So the three ways were either death, recompense of an excessive amount, or betrothal to said injured party," she counted off. "There was no way anyone would allow Prince Fili to choose death, they had no money to make the recompense so he was forced into an engagement with me."
"I'm guessing it did not go over well?"
"Not in the least. Prince Fili was furious over the incident, Prince Kili was embarrassed and upset that Fili had to take his punishment, Talia was pissed her plan didn't work, and everyone else was sure I had planned the whole thing for my own nefarious purposes," she finalized with a sad tone. "Dori was especially angry. He believed I had done this on purpose to force the prince's hand. I've always had a bit of a crush on him you see. So he figured this was my way of rebelling against the family. Ori was appalled that I put such focus on our family like that, and I'm sure he worried it would affect his apprenticeship. Nori… well I don't really know what he thinks, but he wasn't happy. And the fact that everyone thinks I'm keeping Prince Fili from ever having an heir doesn't look good. So I am tolerated but the unofficial agreement from our entire clan is to ignore me, though some have taken it to other extremes."
"That's horrible. You've risked everything to save Fili and no one but Balin and Dis know," he summed up angrily. "Why didn't they tell anyone after Talia left?"
"Because she would not be the last, and Lady Dis worried her sons would face even worse plans. This way Prince Fili is 'attached' and Prince Kili cannot become betrothed or married until Prince Fili marries. It is the way things are done within the royal families. So I was to remain the 'evil fiancé' until they had enough clout to keep the boys safe, or until we recovered Erebor, which would definitely keep them safe from such political maneuvers." Idly she played with the water, watching it run through her fingers.
"And what if Lady Dis intended you to marry Fili for real?"
"I knew I was a place holder until such a time it was safe, then the 'engagement' would be called off. That way Prince Fili would be able to marry someone he loves and be able to have children."
"You mean she doesn't know either," he stated in astonishment. "About you…"
"I don't think so. At least neither she nor Master Balin made any indication."
"But what if they did," he argued. "What if she does want you to marry Fili? Are you going to tell him or let him wait until the wedding night to discover you're actually a female?"
XOXOXO
Fili and Kili choked in shock at the revelation, neither able to believe it.
Nori wondered when Bilbo had figured it out.
Thorin, Balin, Gloin and Dwalin all started, staring at the door in disbelief. Bifur just shook his head and wondered when the young ones became so blind.
XOXOXO
Yori giggled uncontrollably. "Oh Master Baggins, you're hilarious. There is not going to be a wedding night, or even a wedding. I just told you, Lady Dis never intended me to marry Prince Fili. Even if she did, he can't stand me."
"You or the you he thinks he knows?"
"I haven't really been all that different from my real self," she replied half-heartedly, before a determined look came over her face. "It doesn't matter. I have a plan. A wonderful plan that will free everyone from this convoluted plot."
"Is that so?" He eyed her half in amusement and half in trepidation. She was related to Nori after all, and that was one sneaky Dwarf. "And just what is your plan?"
"Ah ah," she scolded playfully. "I will not be telling you my plan, for that would rob you of your greatest gift."
"Oh? And what is that?"
"Plausible deniability." She made a grand motion to show how serious she was. "Few people realize how great a gift this truly is, but I shall not deny you its wondrous power!"
Bilbo chuckled before he flicked her nose. "Silly fauntling. Well I will say no matter what you will always be welcome in Bag End. I dare say you'd have half the Shire after your hand in marriage."
"Aw, you're so sweet Bilbo." Yori thought it best not to argue. Instead she pulled her hair forward studying the ends sadly. "I really hate having to hide my real hair. It takes so long to braid…"
"It is a shame. I have not seen such a lovely color before. I know you have worked hard to keep this secret for so long, even from your own family," Bilbo sighed heavily. "But you really need to take care of your self better. I can practically see your ribs!"
"I don't get hungry," she argued with a pout. Sadly it didn't seem to work on him.
"Regardless you will be eating more, or I will be having words with your brothers," he scolded, eyes determined. "You will also let me clean and bandage your wounds. I'm surprised Oin didn't treat them. Whether he likes you or not, he is a healer and should see to the injuries of everyone in the group."
"It's not his fault. I work it so he thinks he's already treated me," she explained casually. "Otherwise my little secret would be out. Besides it's nothing serious."
"You Dwarves! I swear you're all too stubborn for your own good!" Huffing he grabbed the nearby towel. "Well up you get. You need to dry off before I look at those wounds."
XOXOXO
Fili and Kili shared a look, both immediately turning towards the window and moving to stand up only to be knocked back down to the ground by Nori. Said Dwarf stood between them and the window, casually checking the edge of one of his many knives, eying the two young ones at the same time. Knowing when they'd been beat, the young Durin heirs slowly backed away and vacated the area. They needed to speak to Balin anyway.
XOXOXO
Thorin didn't know what to do or say or even think. While he had most of the answers he needed more information. Looking to his long time friend and advisor he gave his command. "Garden. Now."
The group made their way out, meeting up with the others, including a shaken set of princes. It seemed their small gathering had not been the only ones to hear the truth. It was going to be a long meeting.