Mislead
Some may call it a failure, but I call it a mistake.
I walk on the cold stone walkway through the castles walls letting my fingers glide on the cold stone. My footsteps fill the empty castle hallway. I can hear the light breathing of the sleeping comrades and friends. Wondering around the dark hall noticing I am still in my full uniform. I feel myself sigh lightly swaying my hips to the side crossing my arms.
A failure is something you can't go back and fix.
I press my back on the wall looking at the stone wall. The torch on the wall is providing light in the cold way.
When you fail, it stays that way. When you die, can you come back to life... the same?
I stand on my feet balanced and normal. I begin continuing to walk down the hallway. My arms still crossed with each other. As I walk down the hallway, I hear a door open then a voice echoing down softly "Jean? What are you doing up this late?"
What are you doing up this late?
Bowing my head lower down looking at the floor I turn myself around looking at the freckled female. Ymir glares at me with her bed head hair "I don't know, shouldn't you be asking yourself that?" Ymir sighs at me grabbing her hair in a ponytail "I couldn't sleep after this whole thing going on." I untangle my arms looking at Ymir in her out-of-uniform clothing. We stare at each other awkwardly in silence Ymir lets go of her hair shrugging "Whatever horseface." Ymir tries to walk back into her room, but I call out her name "Can I ask you something?" I hold the back of my head feeling the undercut of my hair glaring down at the floor "Left or right?" I swing my hip to the right looking at Ymir with my arms crossed. Ymir looks at me with a raised eyebrow "What?"
You don't understand, don't you Ymir?
"Which one are you?" I make direct eye contact with Ymir, Ymir walks towards me asking once again "What?" I sigh harder replying with a sharper tone "Ally or foe?" Ymir's eyes widen looking at me hesitating trying to answer the question "I, um, I don't know." Ymir leans on the doorframe trying to answer the question nervously "Are you going to be a failure or a mistake?" Ymir shoots back at me with her clenched fists "What's the difference?" I feel a grind on my teeth together raising my voice a bit louder "A failure is something you can't fix. A mistake is when you have a second chance to fix something." Ymir's expression changes right after I said that, almost like I pulled a trigger "Why are you asking me this?" Ymir raises her eyebrows looking like she's had enough of the questions.
Or were you one?
"I just want to know who I can trust. After Annie I've been questioning everybody and I don't exactly trust you, Ymir." Ymir walks towards me pointing her finger right in my face with frustration "I was a mistake, I fixed it. I understand of what you're trying to say. I lived for somebody else other than myself. I'm not doing that ever again. You will never stand of what I lived through before. I got a second chance to live. I chose of what will be best for me." Ymir's eyes lower down looking at the floor then scanning my body from my toes to my eyes "From the looks of you..." Ymir tries to continue her reason of herself, I felt like I should cut her off "Just because you were a mistake, doesn't mean you should be here fixing it, risking your life." Ymir shrugs roughly turning back to her room before closing the door she says quietly under her breath muttering
"I'm here to redeem myself."