This got stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out. I left it as a drabble because I have other Twilight related stories I'm working on at the moment... and yet THIS somehow became my first -completed- Twilight piece. (Even though it follows events of New Moon. Shhhh, don't tell!)
It's sad that at this point she'll take what little relief she can get- even if that relief is in the form of a lesser pain. She'd laugh if she didn't think it would end in a sob. She'd scream if she didn't think it would bring on more tears. Always tears. She smiles at the relief she feels when the skin tears and the blood wells around the jagged edges, reducing the friction of metal against flesh all too willing to yield. Smile turns to grimace as she watches the blood drip, drip, drip against the counter and the familiar… no, normal pain returns. She can't say familiar. Familiar is a lie, because it's a shock every time she tries to face it. The knife is heavy in her hand and for a moment she contemplates how much force it would take to drive it through her ribcage. He'd succeeded with words; driven the point home and the knife through her heart.
You… don't… want me?
No.
The moment passes as she rinses away the evidence of her distraction. A quick check to make sure she didn't bleed on the vegetables and the odd stinging sensation serving as a reminder to clean her wound. She fights back the queasy feelings as she watches the crimson liquid swirling down the drain. Charlie will be home soon and she knows she hasn't been fair to him, too lost to her own torment to consider how it's affected him. His calling Renee had been a last resort, and it had worked. She was determined to do whatever it took to ensure that he, at least, wasn't suffering.
The pages of the calendar flutter with the shutting of the refrigerator door. It's October the first. The date goes unnoticed.