Note of the date: 24/11/13
Well... while on a long hiatus I went back and reread a lot of the story.
Including the first twenty or so chapters.
First my expression was "My GAWD did I write this." Then it went to "Oh GAWDS this is utter crap"
So I found myself a Beta reader and sent off to rewrite the whole beginning of the story. Since when I first started I was still pretty new to writing I didn't have a proper plot, the characters were a bit of a mess, and the plot itself changed dramatically after a very short while, its a bit difficult, but as this being the first chapter I have rewritten I have to say I am pleasantly surprised at how much better it came out. It is much more coherent, understandable, relateable and much MUCH more enjoyable.
So do continue on reading. The story itself is quite good (though my opinion is somewhat biased), hopefully I will have the fixed chapters out before New Years.
And a BIG thanks to my new beta reader, Alchemist15 for… well beta reading.
It was quite the normal day for the group of secret teenager heroes. It was early afternoon, they had training with Black Canary in a few hours, until then it was be bored out of your mind time.
That was what they thought at least...
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTERUDER ALERT! UNKOWN PERSONEL WITHIN ZETA TUBE ROOM."
True to its word, inside the main room of the cave, laying on the floor was a cloaked person.
He was dressed in a long black cloak, his hood fell over his head and if one looked inside, they would see nothing. It was empty as if there was nothing inside, just pitch blackness.
On his belt was a long curved sword, gleaming wickedly in the electric lights. Hanging off of his shoulder was a quiver full of arrows.
Near his prone body was a longbow made from a dark wood, it was strung and layed rocking slightly on the floor.
"Ye gods..." he muttered slowly getting to his feet "Where in the Abysses name am I?" He gazed at his surroundings. His head felt slightly fuzzy from whatever it was that just happened to him.
His head jerked to the right, he could hear something, faint, but surely there. He got up and turned around slowly reaching for his wooden bow on the floor, very slowly.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A feminine voice said from behind him
"That, my lady, is very possibly why you are not me." The stranger retorted.
The cloaked person moved extremely fast, he spun around grabbing his bow in mid turn and drew an arrow from his quiver. A blonde girl with a mask on was looking at him in amazement, she was holding a bow as well with an odd shaped arrow notched in it… it didn't even have a point, and it was directed at him.
"Should I bother asking who you are?" he said. Something was coming up from behind him, but he kept his focus on the archer girl
"Who are you and how did you get in here?" Artemis demanded, ignoring his question.
"I was kind of hoping you could tell me that." He turned his head a little to see there was a dark haired boy in a t-shirt coming at him with a scowl on his face.
"Who's this?" Conner said walking towards him, cracking his knuckles.
A whooshing sound came from his side as a redheaded kid came running at him with incredible speed. "I heard there was an intruder in here!" Wally said coming to a stop and surveyed the scene, "but I guess you already found him."
"Hey guys look, I have no idea where I am or who you are, so if you stop pointing that bow at me and I'll drop mine." The guy said lowering his bow
"Fine you first. Superboy, grab him if he tries anything." Artemis ordered
The cloaked person slowly dropped his bow and his two quivers from his back "Now you." He said
Artemis smiled slyly and pointed her bow back at his face "I don't think so now answer my questions, who are you and how did you get in here?"
"Well my name does not matter but you may call me Agni. How many more of you are going to try to surround me?"
Connor smiled and took a step forward. "More than you know much more than you know."
"Are you really sure about that? I may not be able to see the wizard who is floating right above me but I know she is there." He said with a small smile
There was a gasp from above him, Miss Martian floated down to the floor of the cave and looked at him "How did you know I was there?" she demanded
"Wizard… Where are you from? This is the 21 century, idiot." said Wally with a small chuckle
"Look I don't care who you are or where you're from; I just want to know how the hell you got in here." Said Artemis
"Well first thing is… where am I?" The stranger asked
Connor raised an eyebrow and looked at him quizzically, "You don't know where you are?"
"If I did would I be standing here with a bunch of untrained fools who think they have an upper hand because the 'cornered' me?" Agni said haughtily
"Untrained?" said Connor striding up to him until they were face-to-face
"Fools?" said Wally coming up from behind him
"You just made a very wrong move there buddy" said Artemis pulling her arrow back as far as would let her.
Agni smiled and turn his head slightly so he could see Artemis too "Are you guys sure you want to go down this road?"
Connor smirked and went to punch Agni in the face but his hand never reached him.
Agni ducked under Connors punched and rolled left and whipped out a sword from his belt. "I'm warning you I don't know who you are or where I am but I will fight back if you attack me again." He said taking a fighting stance.
But no one listened…..
Agni whipped his sword through the air, slicing Artemis's arrow cleanly in half "Fine!" he growled "We will do this your way!" and with that he leaped forward at Wally who easily dodged his attack with his super speed and punch Agni a few times in the stomach,
Agni didn't even flinch
"You're going to have to have to do better than that if you want to hurt me." Agni said backhanding Wally across the room and fleeing in the opposite direction
"He has super strength!" said Miss Martian going invisible.
Agni stopped short of his flight "What? No, I don't I have regular abilities for an- Hold on, WHERE AM I?"
"Too late for that, you should have tried talking before you insulted and slapped me!" said Wally running at him again
Agni sidestepped him and grabbed him by the collar of his suit, he held the sword underneath the Speedsters neck, drawing a slight line of blood to prove he wasn't kidding
"Now I don't want to do this, but I will not hesitate to remove your head from if shoulders if you don't answer me, so do us all a favor and just tell me where I am." He said pushing the blade against Wally neck.
Connor screamed and leaped at Agni only to be thrown off by an invisible force field surrounding them
"I wouldn't try that again." Agni said lowering the dagger. "Because next time it'll fry you."
Connor just leaped again pounding the magical shield with his fist. Agni sighed then waved his hand, shots of electrical energies flooded into Connors body electrocuting him. The super-powered teenager glared at Agni once more, and then slumped to the floor unconscious.
"Now will someone answer my question?" asked Agni dropping Wally onto the floor, holding the sword near his head.
Wally made to flee, but went smashing into the invisible force
"Yeah, you might not want to try that again." Agni said "Might hurt somewhat. Now my question, I want an answer."
"You're in Mount Justice our HQ." said Wally rubbing his neck and taking a defensive stance
"Why did you tell him that?" hissed Artemis.
"He obviously is not here to kill us or he would already have done me away." said Wally. "And it's not like we are going to let him leave." He tagged on more like an afterthought
"How can that be?" Agni muttered to himself.
"How can what be?" said Miss Martian coming out of invisibility behind him looking at him with eyes full of compassion and yet also distrusting.
"That's where I live…." Agni said slowly
Wally raised an eyebrow "How stupid do you think we are?"
Agni walked right pass Wally without giving him a second look, he went over to Connor and waved his hand over him. "He should wake up in about 5 minutes depending on his recovery abilities." Said Agni, as he looked over to Artemis who was still pointing her bow at him with a very suspicious look.
"What are you doing?" she asked
"Trying to figure out what the hell happened to me."
Over on the ground Superboy stirred, sat up and looked at Agni
"You BASTARD" he growled. He stood up shakily and took a few steps and glanced at Kid Flash and Miss Martian. "Did he hurt anybody?" he said flexing his arm trying to shake off the numbness that still lingered in it.
"No Superboy, he let Kid Flash of without hurting him to badly."
"What is he doing?" asked Wally pointing at Agni who was staring at the room.
"Hey! What do you think you are doing?" yelled Artemis
"How could it be?" Agni mutter to himself
"The guy is crazy, let's kick his butt." Wally said
"I'm not really scared of that happening." Agni said suddenly looking over to Miss Martian, who was staring back.
"Not scared of what?" demanded Connor.
"Of you." Agni said frankly looking over at him
"If you're not scared of him why can't we see your face, hmmm? Watcha hiding?" said Wally tauntingly
Agni tugged on his hood. "It's a special hood imbued with my own magic, it's made so only people I want to see into it will."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"I know, and I probably could not careless... oh wait, I just did." Agni picked up his bow from the ground and turned back towards them "Now, I think I'll be going now. I know the way out." Said Agni turning towards the exit
"Oh no you don't." said Connor running at him with his hand drawn back for a punch.
Agni groaned "Please let's-" he began, but he didn't finish his sentence because his eyes widened and he rolled left to dodge several arrows coming from Artemis, who was sitting quietly waiting for the right chance.
She stared at him amazed, he seemed to know her arrows were coming at him before it was humanly possible
"I would really prefer you stop that before I am forced to kill you." Agni snapped placing a hand on the hilt of his sword, raising its blade to cross over his body
Before anyone could do anything, the whole room went black suddenly filling itself with black smoke. Agni took off running towards the exit without waiting to see what was happening
There was a cry of devious laughter over him and he sighed in relief.
Halting and looking around, his hand whipped out to the right grabbing Kid Flash by the arm and dragging him down to the ground.
"Hey le'go" Wally shouted
Several batarangs wisped over their heads where they were seconds before, as the smoke began to withdraw. Agni notched an arrow into his bow and pointed it straight in front of him.
Robin was standing holding a batarang over his head poised to throw.
Agni stared in surprised and lowered his bow.
"Richie?"
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