The Same Mistake
Author: Morgan72uk
Rating: T
Summary: Gibbs' demons catch up with him - is he ready to face them?
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't have any money - and I probably shouldn't be doing this.
A/N - OK, so I am over my need for fluff. This story actually started life as the second half of a quite different story that will never see the light of day in its entirety. Thanks to the person who gave me some fantastic advice - you know who you are!
Part 1
With practised ease, Gibbs scanned the small group of people standing on the veranda. The warm autumn evening had encouraged the guests out of doors – causing the inevitable headache for those charged with their security.
He checked the perimeter once more and then returned his gaze to the assembled politicians, diplomats and Pentagon officials. He found the Director without difficulty; the dress she was wearing glittered where it caught the light - drawing his gaze. He was here, at least in part, to ensure her safety and at times like this he wished that she was just a little less, conspicuous.
Security remained tight, barely 24 hours earlier a threat to this event had been neutralised. Despite the successful conclusion of their investigation, despite the scores of arrests he couldn't quite shake a feeling that they had missed something – or someone.
He checked in and heard from Tony & Ziva. McGee was circulating, holding a tray of champagne glasses; he made an unexpectedly good waiter; a fact DiNozzo never ceased to remind him of.
Gibbs flicked his gaze across the manicured lawns; not sure quite what had drawn his attention. Relying on instinct he spoke into his wrist-piece, giving the order to move the guests back indoors. But it was too late; the short volley of shots rang out before he'd finished speaking, scattering the small knot of guests and sending various security teams springing into action.
He moved at once; returning fire while covering those closest to him. He wasn't the only one responding – he heard commands and then an order for medics. He turned in response and froze for a split second when he realised the identity of one of the people who hadn't run for cover.
"Boss!" DiNozzo and Ziva were alongside him now, already moving in the direction the shots had come from – but he couldn't stop looking at the Director of NCIS, because Jen wasn't getting to her feet.
McGee was bending over her and Gibbs could see there was blood on the younger man's hands as he turned her body over and fumbled at her neck for a pulse. The expression on his face made it clear that he hadn't found one.
Gibbs woke with a start, the hammering of his heart obscenely loud in the silence of the bedroom. Running a shaky hand over his face he pushing himself to his feet and padded into the bathroom. He avoided looking at his reflection in the mirror as he splashed cold water onto his face. It wasn't the first time he'd had this nightmare; he knew exactly what he would see in the bloodshot eyes staring back at him.
At least this time Hollis hadn't been here to witness him waking with Jen's name on his lips.
Bitter experience told him it would be pointless to even attempt sleep after the nightmare; it had been pointless for weeks now. He dressed and retreated to his basement – hoping for a little calm. The boat was his refuge – but lately even that had failed to keep the ghosts at bay.
The fractured chaos of that night stayed with him – even now, weeks later. The crackle of static from his earwig; sirens wailing in the night; the smell of blood and gunfire. His memory conjured up the image of Abby crying softly in Tony's arms, Ziva murmuring under her breath what she later told him was a Hebrew prayer; the hollow expression on Ducky's face and the blood that had soaked into McGee's shirt – Jen's blood.
"You dreamt about her again?" He looked up and, though he knew it was his subconscious playing tricks on him, he could almost see Kate standing before him. Her eyebrow raised, foot tapping, waiting for him to see something she had realised hours before. "You're going to have to do something about this Gibbs."
"You're dead," he told her, more to remind himself of the fact.
"But she isn't."
TBC