A/N: This is somewhat of a what if? fanfic. Hinata battles her fear of rejection, and does something that even she herself wouldn't expect.
Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto.
Usually when someone loses a loved one, they grieve for as long as they need - most of the time, being comforted in the arms of their living family members or friends. But after Neji lost his father, he was immediately forced to bear the Hyuuga family curse seal. It was required, but the branch family members were still furious about it; as well as Hinata, one of the main house family members. Although their fury was fiery hot, it had to be quelled for the sake of their lives. Hinata's reasoning was almost exactly the same as theirs, except, she wouldn't lose her life if she spoke up to her father. Rather, it was completely out of fear of what her father would do other than killing her.
In the beginning, Neji appeared solemn about the ordeal, but as time went by, his face became affixed into a bitter disposition. His resentment blazoned the moment he passed by the main family members, particularly Hiashi - the emotionless dictator who easily allowed Hizashi to die as if he were just deciding whether he wanted an omelet or oatmeal for breakfast; not that Hizashi could even possess the pleasure of picking out his own meals.
When Neji's fellow branch members walked by him, he would either shoot them a look of sympathy, or not look at them at all.
Several times Hinata attempted to speak to Neji. The first few times she caught his attention he swept by, expressing his vexation through his furrowed brows. The fifth and sixth time Hinata docilely probed for conversation, Neji stopped in place and glowered at her; his arms were crossed when he flounced around her. Determined to get Neji to speak for the seventh time, Hinata tried to converse with the assistance of leftover chocolate cake.
Fortunately, finding Neji was simple and quick; to stop him for pleasant chit-chat was going to be the difficult part. To give a good impression right away, Hinata presented the small slice of chocolate cake wrapped in plastic with her hands.
"U-umm..." Hinata stuttered, anxious about how Neji would react. "W-would you like some cake?" Neji's usual look of bitterness was replaced by wrath. (A look Hinata had yet to see.)
Neji yanked the cake from Hinata's hands, squeezing it until the cake completely granulated to the ground. "I see... Since I'm part of the inferior branch, you will stoop as low as to bribe me with leftover cake. And for what? An unnecessary conversation?" He slung the plastic wrap that was in his clenched fist at the dirt in front of him.
Lavender orbs reluctantly gazed from the chocolaty crumbs on the ground to the piercing glare of a furious boy. "I-I got it f-for you because I thought you liked this kind of ca-cake..." Bent down to hold the clumps of crumbs in her trembling hands, Hinata stared distantly, feeling nothing, yet feeling everything.
How could Neji crush her cake so easily, and then profess such a bold thing as giving him leftovers on purpose. Neither superiority or inferiority crossed Hinata's mind when she pleaded to have the last slice of cake to gift to Neji: the only thing that crossed her mind was the hopes of her relationship with Neji to restitute. Lumps of crumbs fell from Hinata's palms as she slowly lifted her head to face her cousin. Her eyes wavered, and her fingers grasped unintentionally at the crumbs by her knees to divert her thoughts off the fear of what Neji would say or do next.
"I don't need or want anything from you." Neji said, walking right past her. At the cruel declaration, Hinata's eyes immediately widened, and her body felt heavier.
Once Neji was out of sight, Hinata finally allowed herself to collapse completely on the ground so she could secretly wallow in the fact that her cousin despised her. Luckily, every tear was hidden by the shag of grass covering her face. As a Hyuuga, it was unprecedented to show any sign of weakness; which was why Hinata buried her face in the grass. If her father or any other important individual were to see her current emotional state, she would surely be seen as a fragile stick, one that would crack the moment you forced any pressure on it.
Although Hinata was distraught, in the back of her mind she knew...Neji was suffering in so many ways. Already forced to train with her, Neji stepped over the line and the seal was used against him. Maybe he deserved it in Hiashi's eyes, but Hinata felt it was just Neji letting out his frustrations in the wrong way. Even if he did injure her, Hinata incessantly reminded herself of the kind smile he used to sport; just from that, Hinata forgave him, and persisted in gluing back the rubble of their relationship. Would it succeed? That kind of potentially negative thought would be brushed off immediately by Hinata's determination. Until her eyes could see no more, she would continue to glue back every piece of rubble she found, even if it fell apart again and again.
Out of this new-found resolution, Hinata discovered something she should have weeks prior - the brunt of Neji's agony, other than his father's death, was the family curse seal stamped onto his forehead. Since Neji didn't have bangs or apparel to cover his seal, people would stare at him with quick glimpses of pity as he walked by. It agitated him, but he would never say it out loud. He didn't need to...his tightened jaw and wrinkled nose said enough.
Maybe... Just maybe... Neji was lonely? Even around many other people who possessed the curse seal, it was possible that either he or his fellow branch members didn't wish to initiate a conversation with one another. After all, the branch family members are also very formal, and do not participate in unnecessary chatter. Hinata wasn't sure if her theory was accurate, but it was better than nothing.
With the new information that Hinata refused to believe was false, she hastily and conscientiously strided through the long hallways of her home to her room. Knees bent, Hinata plucked a paintbrush from her easel, and dipped it in a tiny container of green paint. To help with her artsy proposition, Hinata picked up her silver mirror, and positioned it against her dresser for support as she forced her bangs up. Blobs of green paint dribbled on her kimono as she painted her forehead as smoothly as possible. The worries of what her father might say about her stained kimono and painted forehead didn't ensue - in fact, it was far, far away from her from mind.
After the last bit of detailing, Hinata fanned her forehead for a few minutes to dry. Finally finished, Hinata cautiously stood up and just as cautiously jogged through the halls to reach her cousin's room which she had hoped he was occupying.
In just a couple minutes, Hinata reached Neji's room. Before she knocked on his door, she fidgeted with her fingers, anxious about whether he would open the door or not. A recollection of all the failed attempts in befriending someone surfaced. Hinata grimaced at the memories; but instead of feeling worse about herself, she attained the confidence she needed. Fear would not control her actions this time: Hinata knocked on Neji's door.
There was no answer the first time, so before deciding to knock louder, Hinata mulled over how much force she should embed in her next knock. If she were too loud, Hinata would be scolded for disturbing her elders' daily appointed tasks; but if her knock were too quiet, Neji wouldn't hear it.
Wincing, Hinata knocked louder than her first knock. Not a single complaint, or a firm bang from the floor above with their broom. The only noise was the sound of Neji's bedroom door creaking open.
His door barely opened, Neji expressed a vexatious glare toward Hinata. "Yes?"
Hinata flinched at the hateful tone in her cousin's voice, but she continued with what she had intended to do in the first place. "Look, Neji-nii-san." Hinata shoved her bangs back to show her poor recreation of the family's cursed seal.
It took a few seconds of squinting to make out exactly what abnormality was on Hinata's forehead, but Neji managed to surmise.
"Now, I'm just like you... So c-can we be like we used to be? Hinata asked shyly, her feet swishing to and from each other to distract herself from the fear of rejection.
Neji inspected Hinata's stained clothing and skin, assuming that she probably rushed herself start to finish just to reveal such a pointless thing. It tug at his heart only slightly, but he wouldn't allow his emotions to take over.
Instead of agreeing to be friendly again like Hinata had hoped, Neji sighed and hesitantly seized Hinata's arm. Hinata glanced at the hand gently enclosed around her arm. She couldn't help but feel anxious from the long silence: would he ever speak? And if he did, would his words be venomous or healing?
Neji's grip on Hinata's arm tightened in order to catch her attention. Immediately, Hinata looked at him.
"Your father will be furious... So, let's hurry up and take care of the stains." Neji almost whispered.
The rest of the way Neji was quiet, and his complexion appeared very solemn. If someone were to see his face now, they would think he was dejected or maybe even an empty, expressionless boy. Hinata noticed something different.
Before, the only times Neji would speak to her were out of anger. The only expression she ever inspected from him was of bitter hatred. This time...if only for a moment...Neji wasn't hissing at her...and he wasn't glaring daggers at her either. It may be perplexing to others, but Hinata was genuinely enthused.
Once they reached the washroom, Neji snatched a nearby towel off the sink's counter and handed it to Hinata. A long pause followed after Hinata thanked him for the towel; the only thing that filled the silence was the quiet sound of Hinata rubbing off the paint stains from her hands.
"...Thank you..." Neji mumbled awkwardly. Hinata gazed up from her painted hands and stared at Neji.
Hinata smiled while Neji averted his gaze from her to the sink counter. Even if her rendition of the curse seal had to be removed, or the curse seal naturally faded, Hinata would repaint if it meant these short moments would remain forever.