A/N: This story is a prize for DearHeart42 on deviantART for winning The DA Ranger Group's AMV contest.
Edward's hand stiffened. He lowered his head, golden blonde hair covering his eyes from view as he squeezed the butter knife between his fingers. Were his arm still made of metal, the utensil would likely have been bent long ago from the sheer force of his grip. Behind him, a family of three was leaving the restaurant. The youngest member, a little girl no older than three, was laughing with childish glee as she held her parent's hands and swung her legs out. When they passed, Ed's shoulders shook for a split second.
That was Winry's first clue that something was bothering her best friend turned boyfriend.
The next day was freezing cold, yet Ed insisted on going out and chopping extra firewood no matter how many times Winry asked him not to. It seemed not even the threat of her wrench would be enough this time. Resigned, Winry took to washing the dishes and staring out the small kitchen window at her idiot of a boyfriend. He dropped the axe to rub his hands together, then grabbed another hunk of wood from the large pile and set it in place. She heard barking even through the thick glass and smiled when Den charged into the backyard, making a beeline for Edward. Even in his advancing age, the family dog still had the energy of a pup, and he'd recently taken a strong liking to Ed. As such, he could often be found attempting to sit in Ed's lap or just at his feet. Ed was patient wit the dog, and usually didn't mind the latter (the former though was unacceptable, as he'd made clear numerous times).
Den jumped the second he was within range, his front paws making contact with the fabric of Ed's button down shirt. Winry smiled, waiting to see Ed pat the dog on the head and gently push him off like he usually would, perhaps even find Den's favorite chew toy to distract him while Ed finished his work. Today, however, was not a usual day, it seemed. Ed stared at the panting dog, his face completely expressionless from what Winry could see. Her smiling face melt away, replaced by a bewildered and slightly worrying frown that was only made worse when Ed walked away. He didn't even bother to push Den off him, just turn and let the dog fall back onto all fours. Den whimpered and followed, but Ed just walked into the house and shut the door before the dog could enter.
He muttered something about taking a nap and retreated to his room, slamming the door hard and making her wince. Winry heard Den scratching his paws against the door, whimpered in sadness. She stared at the door and shook her head.
"I know," she said sadly. "I don't know what's wrong with him either."
That night, Winry finished brushing her teeth and set her toothbrush back into it's spot. Yawning, she tip-toed down the hall and past Edward's door, not wanting to wake him up. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed the sliver of light coming from Ed's very slightly open door.
'I thought he closed it.'
Winry considered just walking by and not bothering him. Whatever had been bothering him these last few days was clearly not something he wanted to talk about, or at least, not with her. She wondered if Al, who was escorting Granny on her visit to a friend's house in Rush Valley, would know what was wrong. Or maybe this was something that affected both of them, those brother shared almost everything, she knew.
Her feet moved of their own accord, taking her closer and closer to the door Ed sat behind. She tried to keep herself from looking, told herself that she needed to get to bed and Ed would work whatever it was out on it's own. Not even a small part of her believed that, and that was what led Winry to ignore that voice in her head and glance into the room as she passed.
She saw Ed. His back was to her and he was sitting on the side of his bed. He had his face in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. Winry threw caution to the wind and pushed open the door.
"Edward."
His whole body went still. Winry walked over as casually as she could, not wanting to do anything that might close him up to her and keep him from talking. When she stood in front of him, he wouldn't look up, so Winry got down on her knees and stared up at him. He could, and did, pretend to be stone-faced all he wanted. Those tell tale tear stains were still fresh.
"Edward," she repeated his name, more gently this time. "Is something wrong?"
His mouth was closed tight and he breathed deeply through his nostrils. Winry kept her eyes on his. She couldn't tell where he was looking, only that it wasn't at her. If this was meant to dissuade her, he was going to have to try harder. Not that he'd be able to.
"You know you can talk to me," she tried again, moving herself in such a way that she was in his line of sight. "Right?"
Ed blinked, not moving his eyes away, but still not really seeing her there. His mind was off somewhere else and she wished she knew where so she could say something to help him, wished he would just tell her. And that his lips moved. He spoke in a soft, hoarse voice that Winry almost didn't catch, but she heard it, the one word that fell from his dry lips.
"Nina."
It dawned on Winry that she'd heard that name several times before. It was something of a taboo around Ed and Alphonse. Whenever the name was brought up, no matter the context, the boys would get these sad, faraway looks in their eyes and their general demeanors would become solemn for a few minutes. Winry wanted to understand more about that incident. While she knew all the mjor details, neither Elric brother ever wanted to divulge more than that. She'd been annoyed by it at first, thinking they didn't trust her with the knowledge of this tragic event, but then she realized that was exactly why they wouldn't tell her. Though they had accomplished their mission and rescued Amestris from certain death, the loss of that one little four year old girl still weighed deep on them years later. Winry didn't know how to handle it if that's what was wrong with Ed, but it wouldn't stop her from trying.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He gave no answer, and Winry had to stand up as the position she'd been in was killing her legs. After stretching them out to relieve the soreness, Winry sat down beside the young man, pressing up close and placing a hand on his flesh and blood leg. She felt the muscles tense, but he didn't pull away from her. That had to be a good sign.
"…ni…ary."
Winry furrowed her brow. "What was that?"
He looked at her this time. She saw fresh tears forming in his eyes and the sight made her feel like crying herself. Ed was not the type to cry in front of anyone, he always had to be the tough guy, the big man around. The last time Winry had seen him cry, really cry, was during his automail surgery. It was an awful memory that Winry hated reliving. She tried to avoid thinking about it as much as possible, but it was hard at times like this.
"Today," Ed's voice made her jump, he was speaking louder now. "Today is the day... when she was…"
He let out a choked sob in place of finishing that sentence, but by then, he no longer had a need to. Winry could figure out what he was going to say on her own. She felt her own sadness begin to grow as she removed her hand from his leg so she could wrap her whole arm around his shoulder.
She looked at his eyes, his warm, golden eyes that make her heart flip flop in her chest.
"Please tell me," she softly begged.
He inhaled, sounding for a moment like he was struggling to do so. Then he looked back into her eyes, wiping the moistures off his cheeks, as if in a last ditch attempt to preserve masculinity. Winry would roll her eyes were things not so serious. For a moment, his voice caught in his throat, making her think he'd make an excuse not to say anything.
"Nina, she-" he stopped and looked down again for just a moment. "She was a little girl and- and we couldn't…"
Winry bit her lip when Ed stopped, for good this time. She knew this, because he was no longer holding the tears back. He leaned over with a groan and pushed his face into his hands, exactly the way she'd found him. Somehow, she can hear the next thing he says with perfect clarity, despite how muffled and shaking it is.
"She was a little girl."
Winry didn't hesitate to wrap her other arm around him. He grabbed hold of her immediately, pulling her into his lap and holding her so tight, she thought he might break her in half. He sobbed into her shoulder, completely soaking her favorite pajama top.
"It's okay," she whispered in his ear, a poor attempt at soothing. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm right here."
They sat like that for longer than Winry would ever know or care. Somewhere along the line, they wound up lying in bed together; he was still crying, she was still holding him. Neither of them was willing to let the other person go, and so Edward and Winry fell asleep in each others arms, dried tears caking both their cheeks.
Winry was the first to wake up the next morning. She had been shocked at first when she realized this wasn't her room and thought for a second to go and find her wrench, until she remembered what had happened last night. She remained in place, with Ed's arms wrapped around her torso, and ran her fingers though his long, thick hair as he slept on. She wondered if, when he woke up, he'd tell her more about Nina. Maybe he'd be back to his usual self and put up a tough front. Maybe he'd be more willing to share these sort of things with her.
Winry sighed and scooting closer to him, feeling his slow and steady breathing against the top of her head. She could never make all of his pain go away, she knew, but that would never stop her from trying.