He doesn't view it as chasing, when he follows him, as he calls over his shoulder to leave him the ifuck/i alone, or he is going to put his fist through him.
He doesn't view it as rude when he forcefully takes the other man into his arms, crushing him to a heaving chest, and kisses his hair, as he weeps softly, whispering his apologies, not really minding because he just had to see him, he had to hold him, had to be with him, had to.
Had to.
And as he sits perched in a tree, outside of his window, watching him hold another close, and whisper sweet nothings into his ear, as he sits watching him trail kisses down the others body, sits watching as he takes him into his mouth with grace Gai hasn't seen on many others, as he watches him he doesn't view it as wrong.
And tonight when he sneaks in through the window, pretending to be someone else, and crawls into bed beside Kakashi, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close, inhaling his scent deeply he will be happy... until he hears Kakashi's soft voice thick with sleep, asking softly, as he rubs on Gai's hands, "...Hmm, Akira, did you decide to spend the night?"
And as he nuzzles Kakashi's neck, closing his eyes to hold back the tears he nods his head, "...Yes. I just couldn't bear to be away from you tonight.", is all he replies, in a voice entirely not his. And as he holds him Kakashi shifts, pressing back into Gai's arms.
"...do... do you wanna do anything?"
As Gai holds him, dragging him closer then he already is, he sometimes wonders if Kakashi has any idea that it's him, and not his beloved Akira that holds him now, but he smiles against Kakashi's shoulder and shakes his head softly, "Not right now... Holding you is enough for me Kakashi."
And he knows it's wrong.
Wrong.
And it hurts.
And always will.
Because Kakashi doesn't, never will, love him.
And that is why he spends so many sleepless nights crying...
Because it's wrong...
Wrong...
And he prays that one day it will be right, that Kakashi will love him.
And Kakashi prays that one day Gai will not love him.
Because he knows it's wrong the way he mislead Gai all of those years, he knows it's wrong the way he's hurt him. He know's it's all wrong.
And he prays that he can make it right, and finally leave Akira, as he presses back into Gai's arms, and pulls his hand up to his mouth, bringing it to his lips he kisses it softly, "I love you." he isn't sure why it came out so easily this time, as he presses Gai's hand to his cheek, and hopes that he is gone by the morning, because he doesn't know how many times he can look into the soft brown eyes again without breaking.
And he knows it's wrong, as he fights back the tears, holding the hand to his cheek slightly harder, he squeezes his eyes shut, and tries to fall asleep again, but Gai's breathing, which has gotten heavier, is making it hard.
"I love you too." Gai's voice is soft, and entirely his own, as he cups Kakashi's cheek in his hand.
Kakashi knows he should make a show of knowing it's Gai, but as he rolls over suddenly, catching sight of the surprised expression on Gai's face, iGai's/i he can't help but sigh as he wraps his arms around the other mans neck and kisses him lightly.
Gai's eyes flutter shut as he presses into the kiss, putting his hand on Kakashi's cheek once again, he's about to deepen the kiss when Kakashi pulls away, turning abruptly, and sighing heavily. "Just leave Gai."
Gai lays there for a moment before slipping out of bed and sighing, "I'm sorry."
"Then why did you come back tonight?"
"...Y...You knew that it was me?"
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
"...Kakashi... I-"
"Just leave."
And he does. And as he's sitting in the tree outside of Kakashi's window he hears Kakashi start to cry, and he lets his gaze hit the ground.
And he blames Akira.
Because he's made things this way, him and his ANBU habits, him and the way he tricked Kakashi, him and the way he made Kakashi think that he didn't love Gai any more.
It's his fault.
But that's wrong.
Kakashi decided long before Akira moved in.
Gai was wrong.
As he wiped a tear away he knew it was wrong.
Wrong, to play with some ones heart the way he had. Wrong to come back night after night, knowing, yet pretending that he didn't, that Kakashi knew it was him, and doing things that could only hurt him, he knew it was wrong.
He knew.
He was wrong...
_____
A/N; and it totally hurt.
Fucking Kakashi, such a tease *shakes fist*. That is totally besides the point though.
Hey all of you lovely Gai/Kakashi supporters out there, I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm totally looking for a Gai RPer!
Haven't had a Gai to play my Kakashi to in about a year, so anyone out there up for the challenge of RPing with me?
Just drop me line, a PM or an IM will do just fine!