1 - Tangled

With one last searing thrust, and a roar that would have done a monster truck rally proud, Optimus Prime overloaded. Beneath him, Ratchet's sirens had been shrieking for the last couple of minutes, lights flashing merrily indicating how much he was enjoying himself. As Prime collapsed onto his medic with the grating squeal of grinding metal, Ratchet slapped the back of his helm.

"You've had your fun - now get off. You're too heavy."

"Love you too, you old romantic..."

Ratchet snorted then chuckled. "You want romance, you're in the wrong place." But he was content to lie still for a minute or two, one servo stroking what he could reach of Prime's faceplates. Finally Optimus sighed and shifted a little.

"I suppose we'd better get ready for the meeting."

He made to pull himself up - then halted.

"Ratchet?"

"What is it?"

"I believe we're... entangled."

"What?" The medic pulled his head back as far as he could and peered between their bodies. To his horror he could just make out Prime's windshield wipers and wing mirrors tangled up in his own bull bars, locking them both together. Optimus's weight on top of him hadn't helped, crushing the metal into a snarled mess. "Oh joy."

"I could try pulling..." Prime pushed himself up, only to pause as Ratchet winced loudly and grabbed his shoulders.

"That's going to rip things off."

Wrapping one arm around Ratchet's back to hold him in place, Prime sat up then also peered down.

"Oh dear."

"Don't you 'oh dear' me! That's going to take a fragging blowtorch to sort out."

Optimus flinched. "Could we try bolt cutters first?"

Ratchet eyed him sardonically.

"Or we could have Ironhide blast us apart..."

"What do you suggest, then?"

"That we not do this again?"

"That is hardly helpful."

Ratchet humphed and awkwardly squirmed a hand-that-had-become-some-sort-of-cutting-tool between them as deeply as he could. He grinned, evilly. "Hold still. This won't hurt. Much..."

Metal began to squeal...

"Erk!" Poppy jerked upright, blinking as early sunlight flooded the room. Beside her Livewire was agitatedly turning down his volume, reducing the grating intro of The Black Angel's Death Song to a quiet murmur.

"Sorry Poppy."

She rubbed her hands over her eyes.

"Not your fault. It's not a song you hear much these days." She reached automatically for the mug of coffee Livewire always had waiting and gazed into its caffeine-laden depths, shaking her head. I have GOT to stop reading fanfic before I go to bed...

© JAT Nov 2011

xxx

The Black Angel's Death Song is on the album The Velvet Underground and Nico. It's... dissonant...