AN: Songfic. Takes place right after "Shaw Takes a Shot in the Dark" Juliet thinks about her relationship with Shawn.

This is my first songfic and first one-shot. I don't know how good it is. Any advice (or compliments ;) ) is appreciated

Juliet's POV:

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat

It was the moment he tried to kiss me that I fell in love with him. I didn't know it yet, but I can see it now. It had been a long day; I screwed up really badly. He went out of his way to fix it for me. He always goes out of his way to help me. He comforted me and told me I just made a mistake, and then he tried to kiss me. At first, I leaned in by some magical force. I couldn't stop myself. Then my brain kicked in and a hundred reasons poured down on top of me why it was bad idea, so I stopped it. It wasn't until after I said no that I realized that if he actually kissed me, I would have kissed him back. But instead, he walked away, because he is too honorable to go against my wishes.

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:

That wasn't the last time we had a -moment- for lack of better words. Another time, after he saved my ass, he arranged a couple's skating event for us. We had the place all to ourselves, except the DJ. He tried to hold my hand, but I was already acutely aware of my feelings for him, but they scared the hell out of me. At the time I thought ignoring them would make them go away. I was wrong. And in the end we were hand-in-hand anyway. I realized I wanted so much more. But nothing progressed from there. At the end of the day, we were still just friends. He never made a move.

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are

Why would he make a move though? I'm just a plain detective from Miami. I'm a cop, nothing interesting- just hard work. I'm tough, not girly. Why would he settle for me when he could have any girl he chose? They all fall for him. He could have a model from some exotic place like the Amazon if he wanted.

Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

What I need to do is forget about him. It's a lost cause to wait for him. He'll never want me, not when he could have any girl.

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

I can't help but wonder though, what if I had let him kiss me? What if I kissed him back? We could be happy together. We would walk hand-in-hand down the boardwalk at dusk, hotdogs in our other hands, laughing at some skateboarder who just fell. Then we would find ourselves at the pier and sitting down, we'd dip our feet in the water. And as it got chillier he'd wrap his jacket around me and pull me into his arms so I'd stay warm.

Except, that would never happen. Shawn would take what he wants from me, and then leave me heartbroken when the next model threw herself at his feet. I knew this, and yet, I tried anyway.

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
[Brown] hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:

Abigail: the girl who got away. He chose her. It's not like I should have expected anything else. I practically threw myself at him, but he rejected me. He chose her instead. Not like I can blame him, she's beautiful. She's skinny with gorgeous, brown wavy hair and beautiful, dark brown eyes. Picture perfect. I'm not that girl.

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart

Maybe it won't last. Maybe he'll see that even though I'm not the beautiful, funny, perfect girl, that I have something to offer him, even if it's only love. Every once in awhile I get the sense that he cares. The way he smiles or acts jealous, or the brief looks we exchange without Abigail's notice.

But we're friends. I'm misinterpreting the signs. Except, there are no signs. And every time I let myself do this, it crushes me even more. One time he told me he loved me, or I thought he did. I almost told him I loved him back, and then I realized he didn't mean it. He was saying it to save his life. I was so crushed. I allowed myself to get my hopes up, and it just crushed me all the more.

I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl

I'm just a plain detective from Miami. I wear a suit to work. My hair is in a professional bun. I prefer solving crime to make up and parties. I am nothing that Shawn wants.

There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

I can never be what he wants. I'm not that girl.

AN: Review please! Be brutal if you must.