I own nothing except a few characters and the plot.
KOREAN WAR STORMTROOPERS
KOREA, 1951
"Klinger, you're trying my patience today." US Army Lt. Col. Henry Blake said as Corporal Maxwell Klinger tried another one of his discharge schemes.
"Now get out."
"I'll be back." The dress-wearing soldier left his C.O.'s office disappointed again. Blake turned to his paperwork hoping to get some of it done before the next interruption.
SOMEWHERE IN SPACE
A freighter sped through space with a fleet of pursuing ships on its tail.
"As soon as we get set in the right direction for Earth we're making a blind jump to lightspeed." Imperial Colonel Tevin Felth told his crew.
"Isn't that dangerous?" Asked Lt. Col. Tyler Markem.
"Do we really have a choice?" Replied Jedi Master Bryan J. Khayman. Tyler sat back and strapped himself into his seat.
"We're set. I think." Felth's co-pilot Richie Terrik said.
"We don't have time to double check." Tevin said and pulled the switch. The ship disappeared into a flash of light.
"Frank, what now?" Blake was annoyed as Major Frank Burns walked into his office.
"They crated me in my sleep again." Burns replied.
"We demand that you do something about them. Or we'll be forced to go over your head as usual." Burns' partner in crime Major Margaret Houlihan told him.
"As long as it's on tiptoes." They stormed out of his office.
"What next?" Blake muttered to himself. The answer to his question would soon arrive.
Tevin and Richie brought the ship into Earth trying to slow it down before landing it.
"We'll never make Pearl." Richie said as the ship approached the US Naval base at Pearl Harbor.
"We might have a safe landing speed by Tokyo." Tevin replied. Max Walertin walked into the cockpit.
"We're going to have to land somewhere. One of our stablizers is offline." They overshot Pearl Harbor and headed straight for Tokyo.
"Speed reduced, but not safe enough to land in Tokyo. We'll have to land in South Korea or China." Terrik said. As they flew over the ROK, Max saw a red cross on a tent.
"We just lost the other stablizer. We have to land now." Tyler looked at the tents and building.
"I think we're in the middle of the Korean War. Land near that military base. It looks like a US base. One of the things they teach you in Marine Corps officer training." Khayman said. Tevin put the ship down as softly as he could.
KOREA
Captain Ben "Hawkeye" Pierce was romancing a nurse when the ship landed.
"What was that? The nurse asked.
"I have no idea." Pierce said as they headed back to the base.
"Henry, I think something just landed near the camp." Pierce said as he walked into Blake's office. Frank ran in wering full combat gear.
"Air Raid!" He screamed and ran out continuing to scream about an air raid. Henry shook his head.
"I think we should check it out. But, keep it low key so Frank doesn't panic anymore then he already is."
"Take Trapper and a couple of corpsmen with you. Frank will make a big production out of this and we don't know what it is yet. Radar." Blake called to his company clerk.
"Go with them and find out what this is and then call I-Corps." The clerk said.
"I want you to go with them to find some sort of markings on this thing and report it to I-Corps before Frank makes a scene out of it." Blake said needlessly.
Tevin, Richie, and Bryan looked at the damage to the ship. Both stablizers were ruined, the deflector shield was disabled, they had no way to contact anyone.
"What's that?" Tevin said as Miguel Chavez and Derik Lavi emerged from the ship.
"Voices. They sound American." Said Derik.
"They must be from that base Max said we flew over." Miguel added. "They're getting closer."
"Hi." Tevin and Richie looked to find two men in bathrobes and four men in green uniforms.
"You folks with that base?"
"Captains Pierce and McIntyre, MASH 4077. You folks are?"
"Colonel Tevin Felth, Imperial Stormtrooper Corps. This is Lt. Cols Terrik, Markem, Walertin, Chavez, and Lavi." Tevin said.
"Lt. General Bryan J. Khayman, United States Marine Corps, Medal of Honor 2003." Bryan said.
"Radar." Pierce called.
"Nosy company clerk?" Tevin asked.
"Likes reading other people's mail and eavesdropping on phone calls." Trapper said.
"I know the feeling. I once found a letter marked confidential opened." Bryan said.
"Check this vehicle for some sort of markings and report it to Colonel Blake." The Corporal said.
"I guess you don't have to tell him." Hawkeye said.
"We'll take you folks back to camp. I guess you folks are used to army food."
"Food in Basic at the Corps is worse." Bryan said.
"It's better then nothing." Terrik said.
Tevin and Bryan walked into Henry's office followed by Radar.
"Ten-Hut!" Tevin said.
"Can I help you?"
"As you were, Colonel" Bryan said.
"Colonel Blake. Colonel Tevin Felth, Imperial Stormtrooper Corps. This is Lt. General Bryan J. Khayman, United States Marine Corps, Medal of Honor." The three saluted.
"Radar."
"Captains Pierce and McIntyre are checking his men and getting them some food."
"Put Colonel Felth in the extra bunk in The Swamp and General Khayman in the VIP Tent."
"Civilians do not eat our food." Frank shouted at the 5 Imperials seated in the Mess Tent.
"Frank, go sit in the mine field." Hawkeye said.
"We'll see what Colonel Blake has to say." He said and stormed out walking straight to Blake's office picking up Margaret in his travels.
"Colonel, there are 5 civilians eating in our mess tent." They stormed in ignoring Felth who took no notice and Khayman who began to look annoyed.
"Is that a person or a ferret?" Tevin said referring to Frank.
"Who asked you?"
"My three stars did." Bryan said. "Lt. General Bryan Khayman, United States Marine Corps." Frank shot Tevin a dirty look.
"Major, I can have you on charges of failure to salute a superior officer and failure to salute a Medal of Honor recepient." Bryan said.
"And I will be staying with you until me and my people leave, Major:" Tevin said.
"These men could be the enemy." Margaret said.
"Do I look Chinese? He has a damn Medal of Honor." Tevin asked her.
"I object to him being in my quarters. Don't make us go over your head again."
"Major, shut up." Bryan told Frank. "And that's an order. Or I'll tack on insubordination."
"We'll see what General Mitchell has to say about this." Margaret said as they left without saluting Khayman.
"Are they always like that?" Tevin asked.
"Always."
"Mitchell, how many stars?"
"One."
"Colonel, I'm putting them on report. I'll give you the list of complaints when I'm finished with it."
Later that night, Hawkeye and Trapper took to drinking after a surgery session. Tevin watched them.
"You make it yourself?"
"Why not." Frank walked into the tent.
"You, out." He snapped at Tevin. Tevin stood and walked over to Frank.
"Majors do not order Colonels around." Frank grabbed Tevin and threw him out of The Swamp. Tevin walked back in and stood over Frank.
"I'm sure General Khayman and a court-martial board will find your behavior interesting. And my father happens to be a 5-Star General as well." Frank cowered under his covers.
The next day, Frank's attitude had gotten worse.
"They're all Colonels, they could do something about Blake." Margaret told him over breakfast.
"Their leader is on Pierce and McIntyre's side. He threatened to have me court-martialed for throwing him out of my tent."
"Did you tell Colonel Blake?"
"That Imperial is a full Colonel, the Marine he arrived with is a 3-Star General, and his father is a 5-Star General. And considering what Colonel Blake lets Pierce and McIntyre get away with. Did I tell you that they crated me in my sleep?" Bryan, Tevin, and the rest of the Imperials walked past them before sitting down with Hawkeye and Trapper.
"Burns tried to throw me out of the tent last night." Tevin told them.
"We'll put Burns in his place soon enough. We lock him out of his tent tonight." Richie said.
"I got a better idea. When he sees Hot Lips tonight, we broadcast it to the entire camp after we nail her door shut with them inside." Hawkeye said. Tevin and Trapper snickered.
"Guess what folks. Wounded incoming." The PA system crackled.
"We could use the extra hands in O.R." Hawkeye told Bryan and the 6 Imperials.
"Who's in charge of the O.R.?" Tevin asked.
"I'm Chief Surgeon." Hawkeye replied. Bryan noted it in his notebook.
"They don't belong in here." Frank said as he watched the Imperials working.
"We can use the extra hands around here." Henry said.
"It's against regulations." Frank shot back. Tevin stood across from him.
"If you don't stop complaining, I'm going to put last night's incident of you throwing me across the compound in your file."
"You wouldn't."
"I have two witnesses." Hawkeye and Trapper looked up from their patients. Tevin went back to what he was doing. Henry stopped him.
"See me after in my office."
"Hey, Markem. Hold that retractor for me." Trapper said as Tyler walked by. Tyler held the retractor as Trapper removed several pieces of shrapnel from his patient. Richie and Max carried a patient from Hawkeye while Miguel and Derik carried fresh supplies in.
"I did all I can do." Frank said after a patient's pulse began deteriorating. Tevin walked over and put his fingers on the patient's neck.
"There's still a pulse Burns."
"It's too late."
"I was trained as a combat medic before I became an officer Major." Hawkeye came over.
"Frank, take the next case." He turned to Tevin. "If this unit was a private practice, our malpractice rates would be through the roof because of him." Tevin snickered.
"Bryan and I are going to have a ton of fun with his file."
"So Frank grabbed Felth by the collar and threw him out The Swamp?" Henry asked Trapper and Hawkeye.
"With both hands." Hawkeye said.
"And then Felth walked back in and threatened to have Frank court-martialed?"
"Yep." Trapper said.
"Wow. You guys can go. Radar, tell Colonel Felth I'll see him now." They left as Tevin entered.
"You swear to tell the truth?"
"I do."
"You were talking with Captains Pierce and McIntyre when the incident occured?"
"Yes. We were talking about the 'Swamp Gin Company' when Major Burns told me to get out of his tent. I told him that I outranked him and then he decided to physically throw me out of the tent."
"Radar, I don't think I-Corps needs to know about the still in The Swamp. So leave that part out of the report."
"Yes, Sir." A gunshot was soon heard. Tevin, Henry, and Radar ran to the door. Hawkeye and Max soon came along carrying Trapper on their shoulders while Richie and Tyler led Frank along in handcuffs. Bryan also ran out of his tent.
"What happened?"
"Frank shot Trapper in the leg. These three came along as he did it." Hawkeye indictated the three Imperials.
"You can't prove anything." Frank said quickly.
"Sure we can. Once we dig that bullet out of Trapper's leg and compare it to your gun. It's bye-bye Frank Burns." Tevin said.