Ever since the moment Steff and Lena said that my adoption was still on, Brandon and I felt lost. He wanted me to get adopted and end my agony of different homes, abuses and all the bad things. He wanted me to have a family and he was not breaking his own heart, but mine too. He avoided at all coast to be alone with me, he was spending a lot of time outside the house and I spent most of my time at the beach thinking…and writing my diary… There was a lot on my mind and I felt very much lost and powerless. The night before hearing, Steff and Lena were out with their friends and Brandon and I were home alone. I got into his room and just sat on his bed.
''Please, don't… Callie… Leave before we do again something we might regret…''
''I don't regret it… I didn't regret it even then… I was just scared…''
He was surprised…
''You don't regret we had sex?''
''My only regret is we didn't do it sooner…''
He smiled at that…
''You have given me something I never expected Brandon…''
''What?''
''A magical first time…. We both had…bad experiences with first time having sex and sleeping with you was…''
I started sobbing….
''I didn't think of Liam… I didn't feel dirty afterwards… You made me feel so loved and special… And I love you so much…''
''Callie…''
''I know! I must make a decision…But just know this… Whatever happens tomorrow…I love you more than you can imagine Brandon Foster….''
We kissed. At the beginning it was very slow and gentle kiss. Brandon was always so careful and gentle, even in the heat of passion, he always took care of how I feel and what I need… I did learn that night what are things he enjoys and felt good for giving him the same amount of pleasure he gave me. I deepened the kiss and started pulling his shirt up…
''Callie…''
''Shhhh… We have an hour before Mariana and Jude come home… And Stef and Lena will not be here until eleven… We have time…''
He pulled up my shirt and we ended up naked in his bed. We made love again and it was amazing and panful, but not in that physical sense. It hurt me that after tonight we might never be able to do it ever again. After we were done, we held on to each other. Brandon was silent and I just wanted to listen to his heart beat for some more time…
''I love you Calie…''
''I love you too…''
''…and I just want you to be happy…''
''I am happy with you…''
''But…''
''Not now… Not for some more time… I just need to be here with you… Just you and I…''
''OK…''
He held me for some time and then we had to leave the bed and get dressed since Mariana and Jude would be home soon. I put his pillow back and he finished getting dressed.
''I love you Callie…''
''Love you too…''
We kissed one more time and then we heard the front door. Mariana and Jude were back from the movies… We were not alone anymore… All we wanted to say…and do…left hanging in the air… Mariana and Jude saw me sitting on Brandon's bed and B was sitting across from me on the floor.
''What is going on?''
''We were just talking…''
''About what? Callie is crying….''
I turned towards Jude and faked a smile…
''Nothing… Just nothing….''
Jude looked at us and lowered his gaze…
''I am going to my room to change…''
Mariana left us too, but gave us a warning look.
''That was not awkward at all…''
He tried to smile…
''No, not at all…''
I tried to smile, but all I wanted was either to cry or to be with him again… We sat silent just looking at each other… Our last night of freedom…
''Callie…''
''Yes?''
''Will you be here tomorrow?''
''What?''
''You will not run again?''
''I pretty much have nowhere to run…''
He looked me with a worry in his eyes…
''And if you had?''
''I would take you with me…''
And with that I left the room. Mariana was waiting for me to come back. She had that look in her eyes that she didn't really buy the story of just talking.
''Spill…''
''What?''
''Something is bothering you…''
''WOW! Rocket scientist! Judge is making a decision tomorrow… I might not get adopted…again…''
''Something else…''
''What?''
''Something having to do with Brandon…''
''Mariana, drop that…''
''After tomorrow, you are siblings…''
I jumped off my bed…
''Don't you think I know that?! Don't you think I am not aware of what might happen tomorrow and how it could affect us?''
Mariana was trying to speak, but I didn't let her…
''Whatever happens tomorrow, I lose something…''
Mariana was a bit confused… I left the room and the house… I needed some time out. I got my phone out and saw a lot of missed calls from Mariana and from Brandon. I wrote them that I just need some space. I put the phone back to my pocket and continued the walk. Then I did something I didn't expect myself doing… I called Robert…
''Hey, it's me… Can we talk… Can you call Jill too?''
They showed up thirty minutes later with a very worried look…
''Callie, what happened?''
''I'm so sorry….''
I broke down and started crying… Jill was very worried…
''What happened?''
''I was so bad to you and I treaded you wrong… I should have never asked you to sign off the rights… I never really gave you a chance…''
''Callie, it's ok… You love Fosters…''
''I do… But I need you to take me…''
They looked at me in surprise…
''What?"'
''Can you take me?''
''Oh…That… It would be a bit complicated…''
And I was losing all my hope…
''But we can try… Are you sure you want this?''
''Yes…''
''Why?''
''What?"'
''Why do you want to live with me and Jill?''
''Not many children in the system are fortunate to have biological family who wants them and two of you showed me that I am wanted and you are my father…My dad… And I think mom would want us to have a chance…''
He smiled…
''Callie… I am sure Colleen would want us to get to know one another and spend time together, but what she would want more than anything, is for you to be happy… Will we make you happy?''
It took me some time to think… I would be happy there. They had a good home. Robert and Jill were back together and Sofia was getting better…and I could see Brandon… We could keep dating…
''Yes, I would be very happy…''
''Ok. Let me call Nina and see what we need to do…''
''Hearing is tomorrow…''
''Oh, that's soon…''
''I'm sorry… I just needed to be sure…''
Jill took my hand…
''It's ok love… We will give our best…''
I started crying. In a way I felt relived. They still wanted me and if it worked, I could be with Brandon. I got home a bit before Rita got home. Jude was sitting in the living room alone. I am guessing he was waiting for me…
''Hey, what are you doing here?''
''I was waiting for you…Does Rita know? Stef and Lena?''
''They all said it's ok for me to spend a night with you…''
''You can go to sleep now… I am here…''
''Are you?''
''Jude, you are looking at me… I am here…''
''And tomorrow?''
''Tomorrow…''
''Are you leaving again?''
''Why are you all asking me that?''
''Because, that's what you do! You don't know how to deal with things and you leave…''
''Jude…''
''You left last time…''
''So you could be adopted…''
''And I am… They love me regardless of what you did… They want me…''
''I am so happy you got adopted…''
''And will you?''
''I don't know… It all depends of tomorrow…''
Jude was silent…
''Callie, do you want to?''
''What?''
''To get adopted…''
I looked at my brother and had no idea what to say… Before I could get anything out , Rita came back.
''Hey, why are you not in bed?''
''We were on our way…''
''Jude, can you go upstairs, I have to talk to Callie…''
''Sure…''
Jude left us and we stayed alone…
''Callie…''
''Yes?''
''What will happen tomorrow?''
''I have no idea…''
''I will ask you something?''
''Yes?''
''The recording… Is it true?''
''Yes, Brook hit Carmen…''
''No, you and Brandon part….''
I took a deep breath….
''Yes, I kissed him…''
''And did something else happen….sometime later…?''
I got a bit uncomfortable…
''Hm…like what?''
''I don't know… You tell me?''
''I am not sure if I know what you are asking me…''
''Did you ever had sex with Brandon?''
Few hours ago….
''No! No… We never… I am not sure how much time it would take…not for sex with Brandon…but sex in general…After Liam….''
You screwed this up Callie… Rita knows…
''Ok… I had to ask…''
''Can I go to bed now?''
''Sure… Have a good night…''
''You too…''
I went to bed and Jude was already asleep. I got out my phone and sent Brandon a message.
I love you… Whatever happens tomorrow…
Love you too… More than anything….
I needed to hear that to fall apart… I started crying and I tried to stay silent and make sure I don't wake Jude up. I went to the bathroom and wept in the shower until I couldn't cry anymore. My eyes were red and dry and I managed to fall asleep. Rita woke us up around nine. We had some breakfast and then I went to get dressed for court. At nine thirty, Lena came with clothes for Jude and Connor was with her. Two of them were in front of the house and deep in conversation. I was happy for Jude and the fact he had someone to love. It is important to have someone who loves you and who you love… I wished my situation was less complicated. I started thinking what would Stef and Lena say about my decision to live with Robert and be with Brandon. I was not even sure what Jude would say or think. We arrived to the court and we had few more minutes until our time. I stood by the window, a bit away from the rest. B came to me and smiled…fake smiled..
''Are you OK?''
''No… I don't know…''
''Callie, I…''
''I know… Me too…''
Stef started walking towards us…
''Everything ok?''
Brandon nodded…
''She is just nervous…''
''Oooh… Don't worry love… It will be ok…''
I faked a smile…
''I know…''
I knew nothing will be ok for some time and she and Lena would need some time to forgive me and then maybe we could be ok… But… It would take time… Time I must be ready to give them if I want Brandon in my life. Door opens and we get in… I am scared… I take a seat and turn behind me. I see Fosters and I see Robert and Jill. Nina is here too with a big folder in her hand. Judge comes in and we all get up. I am nervous. Just few more seconds my life would be…not that complicated… But as soon as Nina presents the court with the papers and they ask if I am sure… I will have to tell the truth and break few hearts.
''So, Miss. Jacobs… Are you ready to be adopted? Is there something I should know…?''
''I want to live with my father….''
Stef and Lena looked at me in shock. Stef got up and looked at me.
''What? When did that happen? Why?''
''Mrs. Adams- Foster, calm down or I would have to remove you…''
Stef and Lena sat down and he looked at me.
''Continue…''
''I gave it some thinking and I think it would be the best to live with Robert…''
''Why Miss. Jacobs?''
''Because he deserves a chance… He didn't abandon me… He never knew I existed…''
''But you wanted to be adopted by Fosters. You got your father to sign off his rights… What happened after that…''
''I had a talk with Rita and I realized she was right…''
''Did she tell you to do it?''
Rita got up.
''I didn't say it… I didn't say anything…''
Lena and Stef turned towards her.
''Why would you?''
''NO! I had nothing to do with it…''
Callie spoke..
''No, Rita did nothing of a sort… We talked before the benefit my dad…Robert organized. She told me I should allow myself to be happy and stop missing chances out of the fear…''
''And you took it as an idea to go back into custody of your father?''
''Yes…''
''Do you want to live with Fosters?''
''Yes, but…''
''But what?''
''I want to be happy…''
''And living with them wouldn't make you happy?''
''Not in the way I need…''
''I don't understand…''
''Living with Fosters and being adopted by them would take away something huge from me…''
''What?''
''A chance to love… my father and live a life I might have…''
''Ok… And does Mr. and Mrs. Quinn want you to live with them?''
Nina got up and brought the papers…
''I am Nina Hastings and I have paperwork for Callie going into custody of her father and being a Quinn officially…''
Judge took the papers from her and looked at Callie…
''Are you sure about this?''
''Yes, I am…''
Lena and Stef jumped…
''No! No! You were supposed to be our child… Why? Why would you do this?''
Jude looked at me and shook his head…
''I knew it…''
Mariana was angry and Brandon was in shock… He mothed for me not to do it, but I did it… I decided to do this and I was going through with it…
''Yes, your honor… I am sure…''
Judge signed the papers and I was allowed to leave with my father.
''Ok… Miss Jacobs… Soon, Miss Quinn… This is it now in motion… You will come here in two weeks… And you may leave now with your father… In two weeks it will be official…''
I got up and apologized to Stef and Lena…
''What on earth is that about Callie?!''
''We will appeal!''
''No, you will not… Stef, please…''
''Why? You wanted to be with us… What changed?''
''I'm sorry…''
''Callie, what happened?''
''I can't live with you…''
''Why?''
I wanted to say a lot of things, but I couldn't speak. Robert and Jill came to us…
''Hey Callie…''
''Hey…''
''When do you want us to pick you up?''
''In the evening?''
''ok… Give us a call when you are ready…''
''Ok, honey…''
Stef looked angry at them…
''You did it! You took her from us… I don't know what you offered her or promised her…but you will not…''
''Stef, stop! Leave him alone… I'm sorry Robert…''
''It's ok Lena….''
They left and left Fosters and Callie in the courtroom. Rita came to them and shook her head…
''I have no idea what happened today….''
''Neither do we, but we expect an explanation Callie…and you better have a good one…''