Hey guys, this is the forth instalment of my little BBC collection, so check out the others if you're interested, and there's more coming!

The lights of the Torchwood hub were out as Ianto walked through the darkness of the deserted hideaway, his feet dragging sadly across the cold floor. His bloodshot eyes were downcast as he trudged along, his shoulders slumped with sorrow. It had been months since Lis- her, death, and slowly, Ianto had found himself growing accustomed to her absence, the gaping hole not quite filled by his co-workers. Even Owen had helped to some extent, sparing Ianto of his constant insults. His wounded heart was slowly healing, but when he thought about it, he was happy , to some extent, that she was in a better place. She had been dead for a long time.

But this morning the wound had again been ripped open, leaving it sore and raw. While cleaning out his apartment he had found the letters that they had sent each other when they first started dating, a small joke between the two of them that had been forgotten. He'd started crying then and there, his small frame shaking with his sobs. He would've, and wanted to, lie in that spot for the rest of the day, for the rest of the week, clutching those letters to his chest as he cried and thought of her. But he had to work, and so far that seemed to be the only real thing in his life, despite what it had taken from him so mercilessly.

So here he was, eyes still red and puffy as he wondered aimlessly around the hub.
"Ianto?" a cautious voice called from somewhere above him.
"Jack?" Ianto questioned in reply, raising his head to see as he tried and failed to spot the other man.
"What're you doing here so early?" Jack asked, and Ianto heard the metallic sound of his footsteps as his boss made his way across the platform above him and down the connecting stairs.

"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled as the man approached him. Now that he was closer, even in the dim Ianto could see the Time-agent, his signature military style jacket swishing around, the usual suave smile on his face.
"Really? What's up?" he asked as he halted in front of the other man, a hint of worry in his voice.
"Nothing. Just a rough night," Ianto answered, not meeting Jack's eyes.
"You sure?" questioned Jack, bending a little so that he could see Ianto's face. The questions were starting to get on the tea-boy's nerves.
"Yeah," he said. "I'll go make some coffee."
With that he quickly shuffled off, hoping to avoid the captain. Why did he have to be here of all people?

A hand latched onto his arm and pulled him back.
"Ianto," Jack said in his most serious voice. "If there's something wrong, I want you to tell me."
Ianto looked down at his freshly polished shoes and said nothing.
"Talk to me Ianto," Jack's voice softened, and he used his free arm to gently caress the side of Ianto's cheek.

And Ianto snapped. All the anger, the sadness, the frustration, all the emotions he had been trying so hard to suppress since Lisa's death began to bubble up and boil over inside of him, every little irksome thing adding to the chaotic concoction and bursting out.
"Talk to you? Talk to you? Don't make me laugh. What makes you think that I'd talk to you?" he sneered, shocking Jack with his sudden outburst. "You're the cause of this! It's your fault that she's dead! You could've helped her, you all could've! But you shot her! And for what? Wasn't she worthy of being saved? Was it because she wasn't someone worth dying for? She was to me! And look at me! I'm a fucking tea-boy for Christ's sake! I run around making coffee while you lot are off saving the world, but I'm the only one who wanted to save her! And now you're all acting like it never happened! Like it was a bad dream! A nightmare! Because that's what it was! A horrible, horrible, fucking nightmare!"

Tears started falling, causing Ianto some numb surprise because he still had some left. He tugged his arm out of Jack's now slack grip and went to walk off when the hand again gripped him.
"Don't touch me," he hissed, failing to pull away.
"Ianto," Jack said, ever so gently.
"Shut up," the crying man growled. "Let me go."
"No."
"I said let me go."
"No."
"Fucking let me go right now!"
"No."
Balling his free hand into a fist, Ianto swung around and attempted to hit the older man, who easily got the punch with his free hand, locking Ianto in place.

"Let me go!" Ianto roared, thrashing wildly as he threw his body weight away from Jack to no avail.
"I said no, Ianto," replied Jack calmly. "You'll only hurt yourself, or someone else."
"So what?" Ianto chocked. "So what if I get hurt? It can't possibly be any more painful than this."
He let his body slacken, and if hadn't been for Jack's firm grip on his hand and arm he would've fallen straight to the floor. Carefully, Jack slowly lowered the broken man to the ground and crouched down next to him.

"Ianto," Jack said sternly, looking down at the man. "You know that never would've killed unless we had to. We tried to save her, but she was too far gone. And don't think that we pretend it didn't happen, everyone regrets how it ended. We know how much it hurt you, and we're all so, so sorry because of that, and we hope one day you'll forgive us."
"And what about you, Jack?" asked Ianto with a little sniffle. "How do you feel, not as a collective noun?"
"I'm sorry." That was all he said but he placed his hand on the side of Ianto's face, a small, comforting gesture.
Ianto gave a shrill laugh that caused Jack to freeze.
"You're sorry?" he spat, the anger returning. "You killed her, and all you can say is that you're sorry?"
"Ianto…"
"Shut up Jack," he snapped ripping himself away from the man's touch, scooting a little across the floor. "Sorry isn't good enough."
"Well what else am I supposed to say?"

Ianto launched himself at the other man, toppling him over and sitting on top of him, his blue eyes blazing with anger.
"I don't know, you think of something! You're the genius leader aren't you?" he screamed in Jack's face, unleashing his fury.
Jack growled and threw himself upsides, knocking Ianto off balance and allowing him to twist their bodies around so that he was now on top of his distressed friend, pinning him to the ground.

"Get off me!" Ianto yelled, squirming uselessly under Jack.
"No Ianto," said Jack, his own anger beginning to seep into his voice. "Not until you calm down."
"Well we're going to be here all fucking day then," Ianto snarled, pushing on Jack's chest to try and force him off.
"Lying on top of another man all day…" said Jack with a cheeky grin. "Sounds like a good day to me."
"Well, I don't want to disappoint the boss then," Ianto said angrily, and he grabbed the front of Jack's jacket and pulled the man down, crushing their lips together.

Jack's eyes widen with surprise, but he didn't move into the kiss. He didn't move away from it either though.
"What's the matter sir?" Ianto asked in a sultry tone, tracing his tongue around the other man's lips. "Not good enough for you?"
Jack said nothing. He simply looked into employee's eyes with a quizzical expression, unsure of how to act.
"Come on sir, you're acting like you're new to this," he said as he began to unbutton the jacket with almost frightening precision, tugging on the suspenders underneath when he was done.
"Aren't you going to stop me?" he asked, pausing for a moment to look into Jack's own blue eyes.
"Do you want me to?" the Time-agent asked back, remaining still.
Ianto held his gaze for a moment.

"No," he responded, forgoing the suspenders and working on the buttons of the blue shirt Jack wore under his coat.
It matches his eyes, he thought before shaking the thought from his head. Now wasn't the time to be colour co-ordinating.
Working the last button out of its hole, the shirt fell open and Ianto growled as it revealed the white singlet hidden underneath.
"Too many layers," he murmured, glaring at the singlet. Sighing slightly, Jack lifted himself up, shuffling forward a little too keep Ianto pinned to the ground as he properly removed his jacket, slid his suspenders down and took off the shirt and singlet. Ianto watched with unwavering eyes, his heartbeat picking up until it slammed against his chest as he stared at the half naked man above him.

"Happy?" asked Jack tonelessly, looking down at Ianto as the other scanned his naked chest. Ignoring the question, Ianto reached his arms up and wrapped them Jack's warm body, the first human warmth had had felt in months. Pulling the man back down on top of him, Ianto reengaged the kiss and this time Jack kissed him back, changing Ianto's rabid and angry kiss into one of a deep, firey passion that made so much more intimate and personal, but also invasive. Ianto shuddered in pleasure and he arched hungrily into Jack, slipping his tongue into the Time-agent's mouth as Jack did the same to his. Their tongues entwined and Ianto's heart beat accelerated even further and he moaned, letting out some of the frustration burning inside of him. He moved his hands so that they spread out on Jack's chest, gently tracing the rippling muscles with delicate movements. Jack smiled and broke the kiss so that they could rid Ianto of his own clothes. His suit jacket, shirt and singlet now lay discarded on the floor, leaving the top half of Ianto's body naked except for the loose tie that still hung around his neck.
And they were kissing again, deeper now, their teeth brushing up against the others, their tongues grappling with each others. Arms wrapped around necks and hands ran through hair as Jack lowered himself down so that he lay fully on top of the other man, hearing another moan of pleasure as he did. And then Ianto started fiddling with the buttons of their pants.

"Ianto," spoke Jack, breaking the kiss and raising himself up a little. "If you do this, I won't stop you."
"Shut up," the other man growled, tugging at a zipper.
"Ianto," Jack warned, forcing the other man to stop momentarily.
"Jack," he answered. "I need this."
And looking into the other mans eyes Jack knew this was true, the blue saucers showing the messy train of emotions. Sadness, desperation, anger, loss, lust; a show of inner turmoil.
"Okay then," said Jack, and he swatted Ianto's hands away and undid the other man's zipper himself, pulling his trousers and boxers done in a single swift movement.

"What?" Ianto asked meekly as Jack wrapped his hand around the already erect length and began softly running his hand along it. Ianto gasped at the contact, throwing his head back down on the floor and moaning as Jack slowly began to tighten his grip and increase his speed.
Looking up from under hooded lashes, Ianto saw that Jack was smiling, just a little crocked smile and found this amusing.
"Service with… a smile," he said with a shaky laugh, his laughter turning into more moans and gasps as again tightened his hold on Ianto's member and speed up.

"Faster!" he gasped and Jack complied, his hand pumping harder as he watched Ianto's face become red and flustered, his breathing coming in haggard gasps. It was, in its way, beautiful.
"Ahh! Jack!" he cried. He could feel himself getting closer. "I'm- ah- I'm going to- Ah!"
He never finished his sentence, having reached the end of his line before he could, the evidence splattered over his stomach, thighs and Jack's hand. Jack lent over him and softly kissed his forehead.
"I'm going to go grab something to clean you up with," he whispered softly before standing and walking into the darkness, his still bare skin tinged blue with artificial lights as he did.

Ianto lay there unmoving as he watched his boss walk away.
Oh god, he thought. What have I just started?

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