It was a day off in the Greil Mercenaries', just to be used for taking inventory, training, discussing battle tactics, and buying new weapons for those who broke their weapons a lot (Such as Boyd who always was breaking his axes). Ike had woken up at around 8:00 in the morning and immediately went to breakfast; this is when he noticed something was not right.
First off, Mist wasn't helping Oscar prepare the meal like usual. Instead, Mist was busy devouring all food in sight (Much like Ilyana would) and demanding that a scared Oscar make the oddest food imaginable. (Really, who would to eat bacon cheesecake with gravy on top of it for breakfast?). When Mist noticed Ike in the room, she immediately ran over to him.
"I-ike!" She cried, "Oscar won't make me bacon cheesecake!" Mist clung to Ike's shirt and began crying into it. The blue-haired mercenary patted her back confused. He slowly walked over towards the scared lance knight and whispered into his ear.
"Oscar," Ike began saying in a hushed tone, "do you have any idea what's wrong with Mist?" Oscar shook his head.
"I don't know she just came to breakfast like this." Oscar whispered back, "Either way, I have a feeling I will regret it if I don't do what she says. You might want to leave while you still can." Ike looked towards his crying sister and then back to Oscar.
"I think I'll do that… Good luck with my sister, Oscar." Ike replied before leaving the kitchen while hearing Oscar trying to comfort Mist with promises of making Bacon Cheesecake for the young cleric.
--
After that disturbing sight, Ike left the tent in order to find Soren. The mercenary hoped that the Wind Sage might have a little insight as to why Mist was acting so oddly. Ike walked over to Soren's tent and gasped once he saw what the branded Sage was doing.
Soren had been pushed up against a nearby tree by Ilyana and was being kissed to death by the Thunder Sage. The lavender-haired Sage was undoing various buckles on Soren's outfit and had slung her leg around Soren's waist. Ike coughed to get the pair's attention. Ilyana growled.
"Do you mind? Can't you see we're busy?" Ilyana yelled at Ike who covered his ears, "I want Soren to fuck me until I can't walk straight for a week." Ilyana said seductively into Soren's ear. Soren blushed as Ilyana attacked the Wind Sage's neck with her teeth. Soren let out a small moan.
"Ike…" Soren said before moaning softly again, "This really isn't the time if you can't tell-ELL." Soren gasped as Ilyana bit down extra hard.
"Soren, I really need to talk to you about something." Ike responded.
"Well it can wait, okay?" Soren snapped out before being dragged into his tent by Ilyana who was already throwing off her and Soren's cloaks. Ike blinked twice.
"Eww…" He muttered before walking away again.
--
Ike was officially puzzled. He was confused because of two of the females in the Greil Mercenaries were currently acting completely out of character and clinically insane. No man deserved to ever see a Mist begging for bacon cheesecake and an Ilyana eating off her boyfriend's face first thing in the morning. He shuddered again at the thought before colliding with another odd site.
"Oh, Ike, it's you… Sorry I bumped into you…" Mia replied timidly with her head facing the ground. Ike looked a little confused at Mia's lack of usual hyperactivity. In fact, Mia looked a little like she was about to burst into tears.
"No Mia, it's fine… You don't have to worry about it." Ike replied calmly, worried about making the usually peppy girl cry. 'Oh shit,' Ike thought as her eyes began to water.
"I can't do anything right!" The swordsmaster cried out, "And you know what?" Mia pointed to Ike before clinging to his stomach and crying some more, "Shinon probably wants to break up with me!" The swordsmaster was sobbing into a confused Ike's chest muttering about how she loved Shinon and didn't want to break up with him, also about how she desperately wanted some bacon cheesecake at the moment.
"Shinon doesn't want to break up with you, he likes you," Ike explained, "And I think Oscar is making Mist some bacon cheesecake… She might let you have some?" Ike said before being forced into a giant hug by a once again peppy Mia.
"Thanks Ike!" She squealed before kissing him on the cheek and running to get, what Ike assumed to be, some bacon cheesecake. Ike had to wonder to himself why all the girls wanted bacon cheesecake out of all things.
--
At this point Ike was starting to fear the sanity of all the girls in camp. First, Mist was acting mean towards Oscar and demanding bacon cheesecake. Second, Ilyana was trying to eat off Soren's face this morning. Finally, Mia was attacking like a little emo child and panicking over whether her boyfriend still loved her. This was very far from any of these girls' usual behaviors. He continued walking around the camp, looking for somebody sane. Instead, he found an emotionally scarred Boyd and a Titania who was picking flowers and forcing Boyd's opinion on each.
"Boyd?" Titania asked sweetly, "What do you think? Will the blue flower look better in the bouquet? Or the pink flower?" Boyd looked absolutely horrified, Titania normally was the person who would never go out and pick flowers. Instead she would probably be training or helping Soren with the battle tactics. Titania ignored Boyd's horrified expression and continued talking, "I agree Boyd; the pink flower is much prettier than the blue flower!" Boyd noticed Ike standing near the two.
"Help me…" He gasped out quietly. Titania looked this time as well and noticed Ike.
"Hello Ike! Isn't it a marvelous day? It's a marvelous day! Boyd and I were just picking flowers! Flowers are pretty! Don't you agree Ike?" She waited for a response and Ike nodded his head, "Glad you agree! I am making a pretty bouquet! Boyd is helping! He is being very helpful…" Ike sort-of tuned out after hearing that Titania was just going to ramble on and on. He walked over to Boyd.
"What's wrong with Titania?" He asked Boyd.
"I don't know… I just went up to her to ask if I could borrow an axe and she dragged me off."
"She isn't the only one acting weird. Mist was yelling at Oscar and demanding that he make bacon cheesecake for her… Which if you ask me sounds very disgusting. Ilyana was eating off Soren's face and pretty much demanding sex from him… Mia was acting all depressed and crying about how she thought Shinon would leave her, and now Titania is picking flowers! What has happened to the girls in the Greil Mercenaries?" Ike asked Boyd.
"I don't know… I say we just wait it out… It is probably just for today right?" Boyd asked.
"I have the feeling it might be a whole lot longer…" Ike responded before Titania dragged off Boyd singing about pretty flowers. Ike just walked back to his tent in hopes of sleeping the entire day away, away from all of the crazy females.
--
At the end of the day all of the girls in the Greil Mercenaries were sitting down at the dining hall's table eating bacon cheesecake and discussing their days.
"So I was like so pissed! Soren passed out after 5 rounds! Who knew he would get so exhausted! I mean come on! It was only 5 rounds in a row! I could've gone for at least 5 more!" Ilyana ranted to the other girls. Mia looked sadly towards the ground.
"At least he gave you some attention! I know Shinon wants to break up with me!" Mia cried out. Titania patted her back in sympathy.
"Don't worry Mia, he loves you." She said kindly. She then noticed all of the bacon cheesecake was gone, "DAMNIT OSCAR! THERE IS NO MORE BACON CHEESECAKE! MAKE SOME MORE!" The poor squinty-eyed knight winced and then went to the kitchen to make some bacon cheesecake.
"I have been feeling so off this past day." Mist said to the other girls, who nodded in sympathy.
"I agree," Ilyana replied, "PMS sucks… but at least it will be over in seven days!" She said cheerfully just as Ike was walking into the room.
"YOU MEAN YOU WILL BE LIKE THIS FOR A WEEK?" Ike screamed before running out of the dining tent in a panic where he prepared himself for the worst week of his known life, the week where all of the female mercenaries were PMSing at one time.
'Well,' He thought to himself, 'One day down, six to go."